🚀 go-pugleaf

Stony Brook (UPI)--
The contract talks have reached a complete standstill, and it would
seem that, for now, the season is over for what had seemed prior to
development to be one of the more promising story gatherings.

The crux has been the on-going talks between management and A.M.
Ward.  Ward did not appear in the last installment but for a partial
contractual fulfilment which saw his name in print.  Under dispute
is both the amount that Ward was scheduled to receive for his role
as the idiotic criminal element as well as his desire to see a
rewrite of the original ending.

"It's a travesty," Ward's agent and his aunt Bethelda Ward read a
prepared statement at a press conference this morning, "that the so-
called authors of this piece can't understand why Ward is against his
portrayal, particularly in light of the violent ending.  We feel
strongly that this could do permanent damage to Mr. Ward's career as
a character in future tales."

Management for the series of installments (which had been previously
referred to by Ward as "a bunch of mossy vignettes") has already
called a halt to any further development and appears ready, at
present, to cede defeat and has even been rumoured to be examining
new ventures with some of the others who had appeared in the story.

"Well, it's unfortunate, but it appears to be largely out of our
hands," stated one corporate official who declined to give its name.
"But, in the mean time, we're very excited by the Cladistic Man
comic book that will be coming out next spring, as well as the
continuing merchandising of the Sopworth Ego line of toys."

Although it was suspected that, at the time of its last installment,
the readership had dwindled to no more than the writers themselves,
no one at Savage Inquiries, Ltd., would confirm that the decline in
revenue had played a role in the decision to suspend the storyline.

"Actually, we're gearing up to get a benefit concert tour of the
corporate executives going in the next few weeks.  We think we've hit
on a pretty good slant, which is that we'll be raising money for
diseases which can be represented by two letters, tb, ms, and the
like.  Not really the kind of thing we'd be doing if we weren't
operating from a solid base."

A.M. Ward is supposedly looking into developing a line of perfume and
cologne, as well as devoting more time to his chain of trailer parks,
the Here and Now.

Other members of the storylines were ambivilent.  The Roinn Oideachais
was determined to put a good face on it, which was difficult, as it
did not appear to have a head or surface which would allow for the
carving of features.  "Self is disappointed, but self understands from
when self was trying to renegotiate self's contract last year.  These
things can be a trial, and if they convict you, well, that's that,
you've gone to seed, dust to dust, as they say.  I seem to have
forgotten the question.  Harumph."

At least one member was candid; the Vicar stated with some degree of
frustration that, compared to what had already happened to his own
character, "Ward was barely nicked up.  Hardly mistreated.  Just once,
I'd like to go through one of these things in its entirety without
having these battles of egos.  It's a sincere disappointment."

The private detective, the frog, and Circe, who had yet to make an
appearance, are among those reportedly already with new stories.