🚀 go-pugleaf

Reporting for duty, Sir, to gladly fall right aheadlong into
the proposed ambush, pledge to tend to the wounds of an M who
has so recently been reported unwounded, and, upon seeking him
out to practise false medicine, find that an "impending trip"
(cautiously, wotzat?) has impounded him, then, before dissolving
into lachrymosity, reflect to self that it is perhaps a best
i_t_r_s_, as a hero without a '62 Corvette is not the most
appropriate of figures to raise to a pedestal, and the assumption
throughout (esp. underpinning the marriage contract) that it
was not a common-as-grass 1962 Corvette, but an 1862 one, altogether
a rarer specimen and sure to fetch the price of a cup of tea on the
open market, has bit the dust.

----------------HARANGUE: ON NOT CROSSING STREETS----------------
If I may presume to advise M, he may find, as I do, that by intently
observing the countenance of the oncoming driver, it is possible to
determine within the accepted error-margins the probability that
he/she will brake the vehicle to a halt at a time such as will
assist the prevention of M becoming an adornment of the undercarriage.
If the eyes exhibit within them the light of religious fervour, M is
to abandon all thought of thoroughfare transversal and return forthwith
to his home, where self, summonsed and bearing stethoscope, will read
to him the more stirring passages from the back of the milk carton.
Otherwise, a sallying forth is advised, accompanied by a commanding
wave of the umbrella, which should be of the golf, as opposed to the
collapsible, variety.  Pausing midway to memoralise the bumper-stickers
is not forbidden, and a double-take is always appreciated by the
discerning motorist, or, failing that, the production of the manner
of sound which would have accompanied a double-take if one had been
attempted.  I am counting on M to die a far far more glorious death
than a road-runner/coyote flattening, so watch it.
------------------------------END-------------------------------------

As to the matter of the relation, if any, between M and JS, the
distinction is acknowledged, if you want it to be.  However, it
cannot be guaranteed that this reader will not at times be markedly
atrabilious at the somewhat trying task of correctly attributing to
each his own conceits and ensuring avoidance of the addressing of one
with the circumambience of apprehension reserved for the other.

H.