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I am not sure if you can help, but I found your website and thought I would
try.   I am a 22 year old college senior and my girlfriend is also 22 years
old, we attend the same college, we met here.  For the past two years we
have been dating, and while  we held separate apartments, we basically  have
been living together (our parents would not allow us to live together).  My
problem is  that, soon after we started dating, she  revealed to me that her
father molested her for several years.  They did not had sex,  but he would
touch her in private areas.   This happened between the ages of 10-16.
Since then she has had many sexual episodes with a variety of men, unable to
say no to  them. However she is Jewish and Orthodox and  will not have sex,
but basically everything  else. Now after two years and three months,  she
cheated on me.  Her therapist blames her  father's actions b/c of his
actions she has had a hard time saying no to men, she does not know how.  My
girlfriend agrees.  I  do as well, but the therapist said the best therapy
is that we have to break up and she  must go out and find other men to have
experiences have the experience of saying no.  And to add to this, her
father died last year of cancer. She never gets "horny" now, and we
associate with it with the molestation as  well.  She has now said that
after we  graduate in May 2000 we have to break-up so she can do this.  She
says she loves me, and that she cares for me.  I believe her, it took a lot
for her to tell me what happened when she fooled around with another man,
while  telling me on the phone, she threw up. She has said though, if I can
find a way  that she can get therapy for this problem, and not feel sexually
repressed  without us breaking up, maybe group therapy,  anything but
breaking up she will do it, but I have to find it.  I love her very much, we
love each other very much.  PLEASE, please  tell me there is a way that she
can  overcome her sexual repression and feel sexual, and solve her problems
with her father's sexual molestation without us breaking up, PLEASE tell me
there is way!

Thank you.

Joel