Black Helicopter Pickup Tonight

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Article #3384

#3384

From: Ferg
Date: Mon, 31 Dec 2001 06:29

46 lines
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I AM WARMING UP MY BLACK HELICOPTER FOR TONIGHTS PICKUP!

TO ALL PASSENGERS SCHEDULED FOR PICKUP TONIGHT:
Ernie Dingo
Rod Speed
Peter Lucas
IR
Mort
Assorted Goatpeople/abo-lovers

AS A REMINDER, ONLY ONE CARRY ON BAG IS ALLOWED - THERE IS NO CHECKED
BAGGAGE!

YOU ARE TO KNEEL WITH YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD ON THE ROOF OR YOUR
HOUSE OR APARTMENT. IF THE ROOF IS NOT PRACTICAL YOU MAY CHOOSE ANY
NEARBY OPEN AREA.

ONCE ABOARD THE BLACK HELICOPTER, THERE WILL BE NO TALKING! 
NO OPEN FOOD OR DRINK! 
NO WALKING AROUND THE HELICOPTER WHILE IN FLIGHT! 
THERE WILL BE NO IN FLIGHT MOVIE, 
NO COMPLEMENTARY DRINKS! 
AND NO IN FLIGHT MEAL!

UPON ARRIVAL AT AREA 52 YOU REPORT TO THE DELOUSING STATION BY
FOLLOWING THE RED LINE ON THE FLOOR. THEN FOLLOW THE GREEN LINE TO THE
"STERILIZATION" ROOM (WE DON'T WANT YOU BREEDING IN THE MINES) AKA
"THE SNIP SNIP ROOM".

YOU WILL BE GIVEN AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT AND A PAIR OF DALMATION PUPPY
SKIN BOOTS.

YOUR WORKDAY IN THE URANIUM MINES WILL BE AS FOLLOWS:

0615 WAKE UP AND SHOWER
0630 BREAKFAST OF GRUEL AND WHATEVER ELSE THE CHEF DIGS UP.
0645 REPORT TO THE MINES
1215 LUNCH BEGINS
1220 LUNCH ENDS
1900 SHIFT ENDS/DINNER BEGINS
1930 DINNER ENDS
1930-2000 FREE TIME IN THE "RECREATION ROOM"
2015 REPORT FOR SHOWER
2030 LIGHTS OUT.

MON-SAT FULL WORKDAY. SUNDAY 1/2 WORKDAY 6 HOUR SHIFT.

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From: ferg_mcd@hotmail.com (Ferg)
Newsgroups: canb.general,aus.politics,melb.general,aus.politics.guns,alt.nuke.the.usa
Subject: Black Helicopter Pickup Tonight
Date: 30 Dec 2001 22:29:13 -0800
Organization: http://groups.google.com/
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