🚀 go-pugleaf

(lit: Stosstangen-Aufkleber)

Bumper Stickers

- Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
- Honk if you have never seen an Uzi fired from a car window.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Honk if you want to see my finger.
- Honk if you see parts fall off.
- Honk if you're illiterate.
- Keep honking, I'm reloading.
- Horn broken. Watch for finger.

- CAUTION: Driver legally blonde!
- CAUTION: I drive like you do!
- CAUTION: Driver has donated brain to Medical Science.
- CAUTION: I brake just for the hell of it!
- CAUTION: The young lady driver has delusions of adequacy.
- CAUTION: Loose nut behind the wheel.
- WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition.
- Driver carries no cash. He's married.

- A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
- Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
- Don't drink and drive. Smoke and fly.
- I don't drink while I drive. That's what stop signs are for.
- If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
- Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.

- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
- Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap. Park elsewhere.
- Do I look like a hemorrhoid? Get off my ass!
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
- I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.

- Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
  cause kids.
- Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot.
- My juvenile delinquent is sleeping with your honor student.
- I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming
  and yelling like the passengers in his car.

- Don't laugh. It could be YOUR girlfriend that's making this car shake!
- If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive a little better.
- If I'm so slow, how come I'm ahead of you?
- I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
- I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
- I've been told I'll go far in life. I hope I'm on the right route.
- No radio. Already stolen.
- This is not an abandoned vehicle.

- Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
- This is Chevy country. On a quiet night, you can hear a Ford rust.
- I got this truck for my wife, not a bad trade.
- It's lonely in the saddle, since my horse died.
- Whatever you do, don't open the trunk.
- If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

- (Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off.

- I hate bumper stickers.