🚀 go-pugleaf

May 27, 1999

 "Women will hug the rocks..."
 (or The Apocalypse Now)

     "The lightings will burn the sky, the great armies will clash 
and there will be no more males on this
 planet. The women will hug the rocks..."

     These words were supposedly written on the very beginning of 
human history, and they belong to one
 of the countless apocalyptic prophecies for Y2k. I don't know 
whether there will be the worldwide
 apocalypse, but now, unfortunately, I am sure that there will be 
the all-inclusive war in Yugoslavia on the
 beginning of 21st century.

     How else can one explain the decision to indict Milosevic for 
war crimes in a very moment when
 Chernomirdin's plane is landing in Belgrade with the peace plan? 
Milosevic deserves to go to jail, and
 that's a fact (Serbian people, in fact, would do him something 
much worse as a revenge for all that he
 did), but the timing of the indictment is more than disputable. 
To accuse Milosevic in this very moment
 means to crave for war. All the peace initiatives will be 
stopped, as Milosevic will surely not accept any
 diplomatic solution that may mean a suicide to him. And not only 
that they indicted Milosevic, they also
 accused five most powerful men in Serbia who were the only ones 
able to possibly take him down from his
 ruling place (especially the Army Supreme Commander, as the Army 
is very dissatisfied with Milosevic).
 This way, they are somehow united and no opportunity for the 
peaceful solution of the crisis will be
 allowed. The huge ground war is now the only option. Only God 
knows if the fire will spread and swallow
 the entire world.

     Who has most use of this war? The NATO in the whole surely 
not. Maybe one of the powerful groups in
 the USA? That's how it could be possible to explain "the mistake" 
with the Chinese Embassy, after which
 China has been blocking all the peace initiatives of G8 by using 
veto in the UN and also some other
 things (the very intensive bombing whenever the negotiators are 
in Belgrade). Who knows? In this war
 the logic has lost every sense it had.

     "The women will hug the rocks" - this sentence is hounting me 
all the time. I know that the
 all-inclusive war is going to be much worse than the one in 
Vietnam. What choice do I have at the
 moment? What choice do the young people (students) in general 
have? Should I run across the border
 while my family, my girlfriend and my friends are left here? If 
anyone of them dies I won't be able to live.
 Then the only solution will be to commit a suicide. On the other 
side, should I go to the front and die
 because of the mistakes of these cretins who have the power? 
Horrible! What have we done to deserve
 this? Just two years ago, a million people protested every day 
against the regime. Why didn't they help
 us then? It seems that Milosevic fits them so well that they are 
even able to bomb the people willing to
 remove him from the power. Hypocrites and poltrons! They are all 
the same. The great evil is in front of
 the world, and we are the ones who will pay the price.

     I will remind anyone who think that this is pessimistic on 
the following. We believed that there would
 be no bombing - it happened. Then we believed that it will be 
"symbolic" and short-term. Then they have
 started to beat the bridges down. We spoke: "Well, at least they 
are not going to mess with water and
 electricity". Who could believe that it will come to where we are 
now?

     What should I say in the end? That I will continue to live 
like I have the rest of my life in front of me?
 That I will study so I can take the exams when the university 
reopens? Whom am I kidding? How many
 people are going to survive this war? One of two? One of five? 
One of ten? Will 90% of people I am
 watching through the window right now die in a few years time?

     Fuck that. I am gonna get drunk with my buddies tonight while 
I still can. I must wish that nothing I
 wrote would turn to be true. 

                                                                     
Mulder,
                                                                      
age 22