🚀 go-pugleaf

On Tue, 25 Oct 2011 05:42:50 -0700, GreenXenon wrote:

> Mr. Avins and Mr. Liebermann:
> 
> If you could change anything in the universe(s), what would you change?
> 
> Here is what my ideal life would be.
> 
> I would like to eliminate the following parts of my body: 1. Digestive
> system [including, the mouth, lips, palates, uvula, teeth, gums, tongue,
> rectum, anus, and jaw BUT excluding the liver because the liver is
> absolutely essential for survival and cannot be replaced with artificial
> devices]
> 2. Urinary system
> 3. Entire integumentary system – such as skin, hair, and nails – and its
> appendages
> 4. Reproductive system
> 5. Gallbladder
> 6. Olfactory system [including nose]
> 7. Outer ears [including wax-producing cells] 8. Middle ears
> 9. Breasts
> 10. Any epithelium not necessary for survival, given the state of
> today’s technology
> 11. Limbs [such as toes] and muscles, tendons, & ligaments attached to
> them
> 12. Adam’s apple
> 13. Adipose tissues
> 14. Any skeletal muscle not needed for vital functions [such as
> breathing] as well as any ligament or tendon attached to such a muscle
> 15. Parts of the eyes not directly involved in – or necessary for –
> vision. Example of such parts are tear glands/ducts, eyelids, cornea and
> sclera; I would still be able to see without them. 16. Muscles of the
> ear
> 17. Hips
> 18. Waist
> 19. Parts of the respiratory system not directly required for breathing
> – such as the organs involved in vocalization, hiccups, sneezing,
> vomiting, or coughing.
> 
> I want to lose these parts because they are a nuisance to me.
> 
> With today's technology, I don't need a digestive system because I can
> live off of parenteral nutrition. In addition, dialysis can substitute
> for the urinary system. I'm also sure something can substitute for the
> eye/ear parts I would like to remove. In addition, a synthetic
> substitute can replace my skin to protect my body from infection and
> dehydration that would otherwise result. A ventilator can replace the
> missing parts of my respiratory system.
> 
> No matter how healthy I am, there will be a certain age at which my
> heart will malfunction. This results from the natural process of aging.
> When I reach this point in my life, I would like my heart to be replaced
> by an artificial heart.
> 
> More info can be found on artificial hearts here:
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_heart#Total_artificial_heart
> 
> I hate needing to use the bathroom. I drool when I floss and the
> salivating sickens me intensely. I hate the bad taste on my tongue in
> the morning. I hate foul odors. I hate having to cut/file my nails.
> Shaving and haircuts are insufferable pests. Earwax is disgusting. I
> don't plan to have children nor am I interested in a relationship, so
> there is no need for a reproductive system. Nasal allergies just make me
> want to burn my nostrils. Healthy foods [such as vegetables] make me
> gag.
> 
> Here are some questions, readers might have:
> 
> 1. How do I propose to communicate without my lips, teeth, gums, tongue,
> jaw, and other organ required for speech?
> 
> Using this:
> http://computer.howstuffworks.com/brain-computer-interface1.htm
> 
> 2. How do I plan to have functioning eyes without eyelids, tear ducts,
> or a cornea?
> 
> Using artificial devices that will protect the retinae while allowing
> light to pass through.
> 
> 3a. What would be my occupation of choice after I lose my unwanted body
> parts?
> 
> Believe it or not, internship in bacteriology lab research!
> 
> 3b. Just how the HELL will I operate the lab equipment (used in the
> aforementioned research) without the unwanted body parts?
> 
> Through the brain-computer interfaces described in the link
> 
> 4. What would I like to do outside of my occupation?
> 
> Make music by plugging my brain-computer interface to a synthesizer.
> Specifically, I’d like to make karaoke tracks for both pop music [such
> as Backstreet Boys] as well as bollywood songs [including the songs in
> old Hindi films].
> 
> 5. What would I like to have done with the unwanted body parts after
> they are removed?
> 
> I would the parts that can be transplanted to be donated to someone who
> really needs them.

I would make USENET trolls disappear altogether, instead of having to 
plonk them one by one.

-- 
www.wescottdesign.com