🚀 go-pugleaf

her in a firm resolution to do her utmost
to obtain the same blessing. Considering with herself what course she
should take, she thought that she had not a sufficient knowledge of the
principles of religion to render her capable of conversion; whereupon
she resolved thoroughly to search the Scriptures; and accordingly
immediately began at the beginning of the Bible, intending to read it
through. She continued thus till Thursday: and then there was a sudden
alteration, by a great increase of her concern in an extraordinary sense
of her own sinfulness, particularly the sinfulness of her nature, and
wickedness of her heart. This came upon her, as she expressed it, as a
flash of lightning, and struck her into an exceeding terror. Upon which
she left off reading the Bible, in course, as she had begun; and turned
to the New Testament, to see if she could not find some relief there for
her distressed soul.

Her great terror, she said, was, that she had sinned against God: her
distress grew more and more for three days; until she saw nothing but
blackness of darkness before her, and her very flesh trembled for fear
of God's wrath: she wondered and was astonished at herself, that she had
been so concerned for her body, and had applied so often to physicians
to heal that, and had neglected her soul. Her sinfulness appeared with a
very awful aspect to her, especially in three things; viz. her original
sin, and her sin in murmuring at God's providence-in the weakness and
afflictions she had been under-and in want of duty to parents, though
others had looked upon her to excel in dutifulness.