🚀 go-pugleaf

Jason <matreya_nospam@currawong.net> wrote:
> In article <3db95567$0$18871$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>, AJS
> <asaunders82@hotmail.com> wrote:
>
>> A very convincing argument :)
>
> Learn how to trim your posts, FFS.

A very convincing argument :)


A J S


"Kadaitcha Man"
<Isopropylbromochloromethylphenoxyl-Trifluoromethylpyrimidinylaminoethyl-Ami
nofluorobenzylpiperazinopropanol@Piperazino-Anilinocarbothioylpyrimidine-Tri
fluoromethylphenyldipropylaminosulfonylnitrophenylhydrazine-Carbothioamide.c
om> wrote in message news:apbcp9$che$0@pita.alt.net...
> Jes <Jes@nospam.com> wrote:
>
>> I don't mind CENSORSHIP if it gets rid of offending material off the
>> net. In fact it's long over due.
>
> You stupid, dumbfuck, jizz guzzling, fucking wanking, pillocking penis
with
> warts. Bugger, bum, fart, piss, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker.
>
> air biscuit n. Fart; botty burp. As in "Has somebody launched an
> airbiscuit?"
> almond n. 1. Penis. From the rhyming slang, almond rock - cock. 2. An
> imperial measure of semen; approximately one stomach full.
> anal announcement n. Fart; botty burp; trouser trumpet.
> Apache n. Sex without a condom. Riding bare back.
> apple catchers n. Generously proportioned knickers.
> aris n. Convoluted cockney rhyming slang for arse. From Aristotle -
bottle -
> bottle and "glarse"- arse.
> arse-feta n. The cheese (qv) matured in the narrow passage leading to
> Cadbury Alley (qv).arse-grapes n. Descriptive term for haemorrhoids.
> arse-piss n. Diarrhoea; rusty water (qv); the shits.
> arseholed a. intoxicated; having consumed an excessive amount of alcohol.
> art pamphlet n. A jazz mag; one handed reading material.
> assets n. Of British tabloid journalism, a girls breasts.aunt Mary n.
> Vagina.
> axe wound euph. Vagina.BB.S. US abbr. Bullshit.
> baby bullets euph. See baby gravy.
> baby gravy euph. Semen; smegma. Also baby boullion.
> bacon bazooka euph. Penis; pork sword; the pink oboe (qv)
> bag ladies' period n. Superlative of foul tasting.
> baibhe (bye-b) Gaelic n. A rough old slapper; a boot (qv).
> bald man in a boat euph. Vagina; hairy pie (qv).
> Ballarat Aus. n. A fully erect penis. As in Tow are you gettin' on Bruce?"
> "Bleedin' marvellous Sheila. I'm nearly at Ballarat". See also
> LakeWendouree.
> ball buster n. Sexually aggressive female; cock chomper.
> bang v. To have sex; to shag. e.g. 'We were banging, like a shite house
(qv)
> door in the wind". n. A sexual encounter; a shag.
> banjo n. On the penis, that thin ridge of skin connecting the polo neck to
> the bobby's helmet (qv).
> bannocks interj. Scotch equivalent of bollocks. n. Jockspeak for knackers;
> plums (qv).
> baps (baaah-ps) n. N. Ireland Breasts. e.g. "Phoaar! Will yer just look at
> the baps on that?'
> Barclays rhym. slang A wank; five finger shuftle; hand shandy (qv).
Barclays
> bank - wank.barf v. To vomit; puke; bowk.
> bargain bucket n. An overemployed and over-stretched fanny.
> barking spider n. Ringpiece; anus; chocolate starfish (qv).
> barse n. The perineum; that little bit between your balls and your arse.
> bash-the-bishop euph. To masturbate; toss; bank with Barclays (qv).
> bazookas n. A pair of big tits; whoppers.bean flicker n. Lesbian.
> beard n. A woman married to a gay man in order to conceal his
homosexuality.
> As in: "Do you reckon that Sophie's a beard then, or what?" See also whiff
> of lavender, frock.
> bear trappers hat sim. Hairy front bottom. As in "She had a fanny like a
> bear trapper's hat". Also Davy Crockett's hat.
> bearded clam Aus. attr. Barry Humphries Vagina; fanny.
> beat-the-meat euph. To avail oneself of a ham shank, perform the
> five-knuckle-shuffle (qv).beaver cleaver n. Male weapon used in axe
wounds.
> bed flute n. Musical variation on the pink oboe (qv).
> beef bayonet euph. Penis; cock, pork sword; love torpedo.
> beef curtains euph. Labia.
> beetle bonnet euph. Female pubic mound, esp. shaven. From the popular
VWcar.
> Belgian biscuit n. A vile and non specific sex act performed by the staff
of
> a rub-a-tug shop (qv). As in 'How much? Fifty quid, eh? Does that include
> Belgian biscuit?"
> Belisha beacon n. Flashing orange globe on a black and white pole, named
> after the Transport Minister in 1934.
> bell end euph. The glans of the penis; purple helmet (qv).
> bell-swagged a. To be endowed with a large bell end on a contrastingly
small
> stem or shaft.
> bender n. 1. Drinking spree; Leo Sayer (qv). 2. A queer fella. See
> genderbender.
> berry n. A sexual deviant; kinky person; one who shags animals.
> biffin n. Sweat secreted in the biffin bridge (qv) area during
intercourse.
> biffin bridge n. See barse.
> biffon n. That part of the female anatomy between the bottom and the
vagina,
> which the man's balls biff on during intercourse.bikini burger n. See
hairy
> pie.
> Billy Mill roundabout n. The climactic point of masturbation. From the
A1058
> Coast Road in Newcastle. e.g. "MY mum walked in just as I was coming up to
> the Billy Mill roundabout". See also vinegar strokes (qv).
> Billy Wright Famous Everton footballer, latterly rhyming slang for shite.
> bint n. Derogatory term for a silly old slapper; a bird; bit of fluff.
> biscuits n. The contents of the stomach after a heavy night`s drinking. As
> in "Get me a bucket, quick, I'm gonna chuck me biscuits".
> blart n. Female vagina. Also collective n. Women; totty (qv). e.g. 'Golly
> gosh! This pub is heaving with blart".bliff n. Minge; front bottom.
> bliff mag n. Pornographic magazine; jazz mag (qv); art pamphlet.
> blit n. See blart.blob n. Condom; rubber; rubber Johnny (qv).
> blow mud v. To noisily expel a loose stool; crop spray (qv).
> blue-veined custard chucker n. Penis. Also blue veined piccolo, blue
veined
> Havana.
> bobby's helmet n. Bell end. From the distinctive shape of the British
police
> constable's hat.boff v. To fuck (qv).
> boiler n. An ugly woman one would prefer not to service.
> bollocks n. 1. Nonsense; balls, as in: 'That's utter bollocks". 2.
Knackers;
> balls, as in: 'Them's massive bollocks".
> bomb bay n. The arse; the area of one's body towards which the rear gunner
> (qv) is attracted.boner US n. An erection; stifly.bonk v. To boff (qv).
> bonk-on n. Erection, as in: `A copy of Fiesta and a box of tissues please,
> Mr Newsagent. I've got a right big bonk on".Boris n. used by females
Vagina.
> bosch v. To drill a hole between cubicles in a public lavatory for the
> purpose of spying on, or making your cock available to, your neighbour
(for
> example, the future Bishop of Durham).
> bott v. A sex act performed by botters (qv).botter (bot-ah) n. He who
botts.
> Bourneville Boulevard euph. Arse; fudge tunnel. Used to denote
> homosexuality, as in: 'I believe he strolls down the Bourneville
Boulevard".
> Bovril bullets n. Stools; excrement.
> bowk v. To barf, vomit; boy up; create a pavement pizza (qv).
> Bowling from the Pavilion end euph. Botting (qv).
> box of assorted-creams Aus. n. A sexually promiscuous female, as in:
`Watch
> yourself there Bruce, that one's a right Box of Assorted Creams".
> box n. 1. Vagina. As in: "Look at that lovely little box". 2. In cricket,
a
> gentleman's protective device worn around the undercarriage (qv). As in:
> "Eeeeargh! I wish I'd worn a box".
> breast fest n. The summer months during which women sunbathe topless.
> brim n. The skirting around the base of one's helmet (qv).
> Bristols ryhm. slang Tits. From Bristol Citys - titties.
> brown bullet-hole euph. Bumhole; barking spider (qv).
> brown hatter n. One who bowls from the Pavilion end (qv) and in so doing
> tarnishes his bobbies helmet (qv).brown sword n. See banjo.
> brown trout n. A shite.
> brown pipe engineer n. A plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance.
> brown wings n. The honour bestowed on a man after he has completed a
> successful spell of bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).
> BSH abbr. British Standard Handful. The unit by which breasts are
> oftenmeasured.
> bucket fanny n. A spacious vagina. Also Tardis fanny / twat.
> buffty Scotch n. A gay man.
> build a log cabin euph. To pass an enormous, solid stool. As in: 'I
wouldn't
> go in there mate Someone's just built a log cabin"
> bulldog eating porridge euph. The vagina in the aftermath of sex. From
> Shakespear's Henry IV. "Lo, I see my ladies' bulldog hath been eating
> porridge again".
> bullshat v. Past tense of bullshit. As in 'Me liar, he bullshat me.
> bum bandit n. A robber, outlaw or highwayman, who steals people's bottoms.
> bum chain n. A rather intimate version of the Conga danced by those on the
> other bus (qv).
> bum cigar n. In after dinner conversation, a stool. "Well, if you'll
excuse
> me I think I'll nip upstairs and light a bum cigar".
> bunk up n. 1. Bonk; shag, As in: 'Darling, you look beautiful tonight. Any
> chance of a bunk up?" 2. Assistance climbing, as in: "Shit. I'm so pissed
I
> can't get onto the bed. Giz a bunk up will ya?"
> burp the worm See bash-the-bishop.
> bury a quaker euph. To release a payload from the bomb bay (qv).C
> cabbage n. Girls; totty (qv). As in "I'm looking forward to going out this
> evening. I hope to get some cabbage".
> cable laying euph. To excre solid stools. As opposed to crop spraying
(qv).
> Cadbury Alley n. See Bourneville Boulevard.
> camel's foot n. Of leggings and tight jeans, those folds generate in a
> ladies crotch when they an pulled up too tightly. See also Twix lips.
> can US n. Bottom.
> Captain's Pie n. 1. Hairy pie; haddock pastie (qv). 2. Of ship's catering,
> that pie which belongs to the captain.
> carnival knowledge n. Latin phrase meaning to have intimidate relations
> with. As in: "Have you had carnival knowledge with your wife within the
last
> two weeks?"
> carpenter's dream euph. Sexually promiscuous woman. As in: "Flat as a
board,
> and easy to screw".
> carpet muncher euph. One who eats hairy pie (qv). Nothing to do with
pillow
> biting.Casanova's rubber sock n. Condom; blob (qv).
> cauliflower euph. Sex. e.g. "I fancy doing a bit of cauliflower'. From
18th
> C. slang for vagina.cavalier n. Uncircumcised penis.
> Chalfonts rhym. slang Haemorrhoids. As in: Chalfont St. Giles - piles.
> chapel hat pegs simile used describe large, erect nipples. A in: "Phoarr!
> She had nipples like chapel hat pegs'. Also pygmies cocks.
> Charlies n. 70s Tits; breasts.
> charms n. In British tabloid journalism, the breasts.chebs n. Tits;
breasts.
> cheese See knob-cheese.
> cheese ridge n. The fertile area of the penis where knob cheese (qv) is
> cultivated. Also banjo (qv).
> cheesey wheelbarrow n. The penis, as it might appear while being pushed by
> an uphill gardener (qv).chichis Mexican n. Tits; breasts.
> chocolate chimney sweep euph. He who applies his purple headed womb broom
> (qv) to dirtier duties.chocolate eye n. Bumhole.
> chocolate speedway also chocolate whizzway n. Bumhole; poop chute.
> chocolate speedway rider n. Botter (qv).
> chocolate starfish n. See chocolate eye, speedway, etc.
> choke the chicken euph. See bash the bishop; burp the worm.
> choozies Aus. n. Tits; breasts.
> chopper n. Penis. As in: 'That Andy Cole couldn't score in a brothel with
a
> �50 note wrapped round his chopper'.chubblies n. A fat woman's choozies
> (qv).
> chuck your muck euph. To drain one's spuds; ejaculate.chuckles n. Balls.
> chuff 1. v. To pass wind; shoot a bunny rabbit. e.g. "Oops! Best open a
> window vicar. I believe I've just chuffed". 2. n. Vagina; ladies
> frontbottom.
> chuff mountain EEC n. Surplus of woman guests at a party.chuffle plug n.
> Tampon.
> chunder v. To produce a pavement pizza (qv); barf (qv).
> chutney farmer euph. A manwho rears chocolate starfish (qv); botter (qv).
> Also chutney ferret.chutney locker n. Rectum.
> cirelejerk n. A shared round of hand shandies (qv).
> clagnuts n. Dangleberries (qv). Also tagnuts.
> clam jousting n. A sexual encounter between lesbians. Also Velcro
fastening.
> clam smacker n. A lesbian.
> clarts n. Tacky excrement, such as would cling to the lavatory bowl above
> the water level rather than slip into the water.
> clear the custard euph. To have a long overdue wank. e.g. "Ooooooh I've
got
> balls like boulders. I'd better nip upstairs and clear the custard'.
> clinkers Aus. n. Difficult to remove poo particles; winnits; kling-ons.
> cludgie n. Shithouse (qv); lavatory; thunderbox.
> clusterfuck n. A regrettable situation of immense idiocy.
> coco sombrero n. Mexican variation of brown hat.
> combustofiatulation n. The highly dangerous act of flame throwing with
one's
> trouser trumpet.conkers See hairy conkers.Constable n. A roughly shaven
> minge.
> copper bolt v. A solid stool.corybungo n. Arse; backside.
> costume drama n. The frantic behaviour of a woman who cannot decide what
to
> wear for a party. See also period drama.
> cottage v. To go house hunting on Bourneville Boulevard (qv), looking for
> something a bit more solid than a log cabin (qv).
> council gritter rhyming slang Arsehole; dirtbox, Council gritter -
shitter.
> As in: "Watch that one. I hear he takes it up the council gritter'. Also
> Gary Glitter.crab ladder n. Penis.
> cranberry dip n. A special recipe for hairy pie (qv) available only during
> rag week (qv).
> crapper n. Lavatory. From the German inventor of the self-cleaning water
> closet, Thomas Shitehousen.cream v. To ejaculate.crouton n. An erection;
> bone.
> crop spraying euph. To have diarrhoea. As opposed to cable laying (qv).
For
> example, a doctor may enquire: "So; how's your old Gary Glitter? Have you
> been cable laying or crop spraying"
> cumulo nimbus n. The posh Latin term for oral sex; the stimulation of the
> clematis.
> cunt bubble 1. n. An air lock up the fanny, often leading to a minge burp.
> 2. interj. Something Paul Whicker says when punching the bishop (as
opposed
> to bashing the bishop).
> cupcake n. A small quantity of fart-gas caught in the palm of the hands
and
> then deposited in a person's face.curd n. Jizz, or gism (qv).
> curl one off v. To carefully deliver a stool. - curler n. A lump of
> excrement so delivered, Also crimp off a length naval slang.
> cut the cheese euph. To fart.Ddags Aus. n. Dangleberries (qv).
> dangleberries n. Winnits; excrement adhering to the hairs around a badly
> wiped bottom.dick wheat US n. Male pubic hair. Also dick weed.
> diddles See diddy ride.diddy ride See tit wank.
> diesel dyke US n. Butch lesbian; stone (qv); fanny nosher.
> dinner masher n. A diner who arrives on the other bus (qv).dirtbox n.
> Rectum.
> dishonourable discharge n. The shameful result of bashing the bishop (qv).
> dobber n. A semi-erect penis.dog n. Hound; boiler; tug boat; sea monster.
> dog's bollocks euph. Bees knees; donkey's knob.
> dog's egg n. A dog turd, often 'laid' on the pavement.
> dog's match n. Any sexual encounter in public place, in bushes, doorways,
> under lamp posts etc.
> doggies n. Intercourse in the position adopted by dogs, usually near some
> dustbins.dollymop n. An amateur or inexperienced prostitute.
> donkey rigged adj. Possessing a large penis.
> double bassing v. To have sex from behind fiddling with the lady's left
> nipple with your left hand and her fanny with your right - a position
> similar to the one adopted when playing the double bass, although the
sound
> is completely different.draw mud from the well See follow through.
> drink hom both taps euph. To be bisexual; a switch hitter (qv); AC/DC.
> drop a pebble euph. To erroneously emit a small body of faeces whilst
> attempting to break wind. Also follow through.
> drop out n. When a testicle protrudes from the bottom of your underpants,
or
> in Peter Beardsley's case, football shorts. As opposed to flop out (qv).
> drop the kids off at the pool euph. To have a shit.
> drown some kittens euph. To pass a litter of small stools which nobody
wants
> to give a home to.dry bob n. Sex without male ejaculation.
> dugs n. Breasts; baps; paps.
> dunny Aus. n. Toilet. Also a popular knickname for someone called Dunn.
> dump v. To drop a log; release the poop payload.dunkie n. Contraceptive
> sheath.
> dust the duvet v. To bash the bishop, especially at bedtime.
> Dutch oven n. The area beneath the bedclothes after ones partner has just
> played the dawn chorus on his botty bugle.
> DVDA n. Double Vaginal, Double Anal. The holy grail of pornographic video
> acts, presumably involving Indian Rubber-men and one uncomfortable woman.E
> Eartha Kitts rhym. slang Shits; diarrhoea. Also the Brad Pitts.
> Eccles snake n. A penis with warts.
> Emmas rhyhming slang Haemorroids. After the brainy media sex pot Emma
Freud,
> daughter of sour faced dog food chef Clement. Also Nobbies (qv).
> empty the anaconda euph. To have a piss.F
> face painting v. A To adorn ones spouse with Jelly Jewellery
> fadge n. A cross between a fanny and a vagina.fairy hammock n. Panties.
> family jewels euph. The knackers; male genitalia.
> fanny batter n. Crusty residue found on a hairy pie (qv).
> fanny flange n. Clitoris.
> fanny magnet n. A flash car towards the driver of which totty (qv)
> isattracted.
> fanny rat n. 1. Penis. 2. Sexually promiscuous male.
> farmers rhym. slang Piles. From Farmer Giles.
> farting strings n. An imagined part of the body which can be damaged by
over
> exertion through laughter. e.g. 'Hey! Stop it will ya, before I bust me
> farting strings'.
> feeding the ducks euph. Wanking. From the apparent similarity in
> handmovements.
> felch v. To lick lemon curd out of a tea towel holder (qv).
> finsbury bridge See barse.
> firey surprise n. To receive a brand spanking new electric fire that you
> never knew about.
> firing blanks v. Post snip ejaculation. e.g. 'You can put the ribticklers
> away love, I'm firing blanks'.
> fish mitten n. Haddock pastie; lab kebab; vertical bacon sandwich (qv).
> fish supper euph. chauvinistic Carnival knowledge (qv) to which, by
rights,
> a husband is entitled at the end of the day. See also get up them stairs.
> fist magnet n. Someone who deserves a punch in the face.
> fitbin interj. A brand new and extremely rude swearword invented by Sweary
> Mary for the purpose of annoying WHSmiths.
> five knuckle shuffle euph. A one-handed work out to a Cindy Crawford
> exercise video.fizzing at the bung hole euph. To denote sexual arousal in
> women.
> fleshy fugelhorn n. Another musical variation on the bed flute; pink
> oboe(qv).
> float an air biscuit euph. To release a fart.
> floater n. 1. Scotch A turd in the pan which will not flush away. 2.
Member
> of the crap 70s soul band, e.g. Larry.
> flop out n. When the flacid penis protrudes through the bottom of your
> underpants, often whilst moving from a sitting to standing position.
> florins ryhming slang Shits. From the former florin coin, known as 'two
bob
> bits'.fluffer n. A female employed on the set of porno movies to stimulate
> male
> actors between takes.
> fnarr fnarr! interj. A surpressed and childish exclamation of amusement at
> the utterence of a double entre.
> follow through v. To accidentally soil ones underpants whilst attempting
to
> fart; to obtain russet gusset: drop a pebble (qv).
> French wank n. In sophisticated society, a tit wank; sausage sandwich
(qv).
> fried eggs n. Small breasts. As in: "Do you fancy that Kate MosO "Naaaah!
> Tits like fried eggs".
> frock v. Of lavender marriages, a cosmetic husband. The lesbian's
equivalent
> of a beard (qv).front bottom See fur burger.
> fuckwit n. Simpleton; one of little intelligence; bollock brain.
> fun bags n. Breasts; knockers; thruppennies (qv).fur burger See front
> bottom.
> furry bicycle stand See fish mitten.G
> gammon flaps See beef curtains. Also gammon goal-posts.
> Gary Glitter rhym. slang Arse. From Gary Glitter - shitter. See also
council
> gritter.gash n. Vagina. Conveniently rhymes with "Hoy, giz a flash of
> your..."
> gazoo n. Arse; bum.gazungas n. Large breasts.
> gender bender n. Effeminate, flowery male of varying or obscure sexual
> orientation e.g. Marc Almond out of Soft Cell.
> get off at Edge Hill euph. Coitus interruptus; withdrawal before
> ejaculation. (Edge Hill is the last station before Liverpool Lime Street.)
> Aus. get off at Redfern. Scot. Paisley. Lond. Clapham. Newcastle
> Gatesheadetc.
> get up them stairs The cry from a chauvinist male to his wife which
> indicates that he has finished eating, drinking and watching football on
> telly, and now wishes to retire, to the bedroom to make an ungainly and
> flatulent attempt at sexual intercourse.
> get wood v. To achieve an erection. As in: "Sorry love, I'm having trouble
> getting wood". Also get string.
> ghost shit n. A stool or dump of which there is no trace when you stand up
> and turn round to admire it.gick Eire n. Shit.ginger beer rhym. slang
Queer.
> gobble interj. A noise made by turkeys.
> go all the way to Cockfostersv. To have sexual intercourse. As in "I
thought
> i'd have to go home via the Billy Mill Roundabout, but she took me all the
> way to Cockfosters."
> gobshite n. Someone prone to uttering verbal inaccuracies; bullshitter.
> golden shower euph. A vile sex act; unfortunate mix-up in a crowded German
> bathroom.
> goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offend a vicar
or
> grandparent.
> gorblimey n. A type of trousers popular among council tenants in the
1950s.
> Greek sauna See Dutch oven.
> grin like a wanking Jap sim. To grin broadly, as a Nissan executive might
do
> as he turned (even more) Japanese (qv) as he neared the vinegar strokes
(qv)
> on his approach to the Billy Mill roundabout (qv).
> grogan n. 1. A log; turd. 2. A cute wee Scotch lassie with a twee voice.
> grow a tail v. To defecate; build a log cabin (qv).grub See biffin.
> grundle US n. Barse (qv).
> grunts n. The type of undesirable bints (qv) who appear in reader's
> wivespages.
> guard's van n. Of pulling a train (qv), the least desirable position in
the
> queue. As in: "Bagsy I'm not in the guard's van fellas".
> guff v. To fart; let off.guff cloud n. The noxious vapour produced by
> guffing.
> gusset typist euph. A woman who masturbates.gusset nuzzler euph. Lesbian.H
> haddock pastie See hairy cheque book.hairy cheque book See hairy cup.
> hairy cup See hairy doughnut.hairy doughnut See hairy goblet.
> hairy goblet Seehairy lasso.hairy lasso See hairy pie.
> hairy pie n. A kipper; Velcro triangle (qv).
> hairy toffee n. Dangleberries (qv); Kling-ons (qv).
> half leapfrog v. To have sex in the doggies (qv) position.
> ham howitzer n. A military weapon descended from the pork sword (qv).
> hamburger shot n. A rear view in a pornographic magazine in which the beef
> curtains (qv) are visible.ham shank rhyming slang for a Barclays (qv).
> Hampton rhyming slang Penis. Hampton Wick - dick. Also to get your Hampton
> Court - an accident involving a zip.hand shandy n. See ham shank.
> hand solo n. A solitary hand shandy (qv).
> hand to gland combat n. A one man, three minute bout of gladitorial combat
> involving a Spam Javelin.hanging salad euph. Wedding tackle (qv).
> happy lamp n. Sixth gear stick. As in: "I'm homy. Think I'll give my happy
> lamp a quick buff.happy sack euph. Scrotum; scrots; nads.
> hard on n. Wood; a bone.
> head lamps n. Bristols (qv). As in: "Phewf! I wouldn't mind giving her
head
> lamps a rub".heave a Havana polite euph. Take a dump See also bum cigar.
> hee 1. Thai n. Minge; hairy cheque book. 2. interj. One of several noises
> made by laughing gnomes.helmet See bobby's helmet.
> Herbie's bonnet See Beetle bonnet.
> Hershey highway US euph. See Cadbury Alley et all.
> hide the salami euph. A game for two players, one sausage and a hairy
> pie(qv).
> ho' abbr. Whore. A familiar name given to their charges by pimps in floppy
> hats, fur coats and pink Cadillacs. As in: "Yo! Ho', shake that ass".
> hog's eye n. See Jap's eye.honey alter n. See honey pot.
> honey pot See hairy cheque book.
> hoop stretcher n. In kitchens, one who hides the salami (qv) in the tea
> towel holder (qv).
> horatio n. Posh Latin term used by doctors for oral sex on a man.
> horse eating oats sim. As in "She hasn't been shagged for ages. If you put
> your hand down her pants it would be like a horse eating oats."
> hosebag n. A woman of loose morals. She of bucket fanny (qv).
> horizontal jogging euph. Sexual intercourse.
> hot dog n. An egg delicacy -something of an acquired taste -famously
enjoyed
> by the gay cult actor Divine. v. To eat said morsel, freshly laid.
> Howard's Way rhyming slang Homosexual. From the shit BBC TV drama Howard's
> Way - gay.
> how's your father n. Sex. Usually prefixed with ahem. As in 'Fancy a quick
> bit of.. ahem... how's your father?"
> hump v. 1. To shag; have sex with. 2. To carry heavy amplification
equipment
> to and from a live music venue.
> hungry arse n. The condition afflicting women in tight jeans whereby a
> crease in their pants appears to disappear up the crack of their arse.I
> I.B.M. abbr. Itty bitty meat. A small penis.
> Iggy Pop shot n. To "whack off over a TV's ass because it would be a pity
to
> waste it".Irish shave n. A dump.
> Irish toothache n. An erection; bone. As in: "Is that a gun in your
pocket,
> or have you just got Irish toothache?"
> I say! Interj. Expression of joy upon seeing an attractive woman. Attr.
> Terry Thomas.
> I.R.S. abbr. Itchy Ring Syndrome. Irritating anal affliction caused by
> insufficient wiping of the chocolate starfish (qv), or inflammation of the
> farmers (qv).Jjack off v. To choke the chicken (qv); jerkin' the gherkin.
> jacked up adj. To be celibate whilst suffering from a venereal disease.
> jam rag n. Tampon.
> Japanese flag n. The appearance of the arsehole the morning after a
vindaloo
> curry. As in: "Christ almighty! I think I'm sitting on a Japanese flag".
> Jap's eye n. Male urethral opening; hogs eye (qv).
> J. Arthur rhym. slang Masturbation. From J. Arthur Rank -wank. For
example,
> while watching blue movies Jonathan Ross might say: "Phwwoar! What I
weally
> want wight now is a quick J. Arthur".
> jazz mag n. A printed volume of pornographic material; a journal of
> gentleman's interest.jelly water mangoes euph. Large knockers; gazungas.
> Jemima suit n. A tight fitting costume worn by fetishists with
strategically
> positioned openings over the erogenous zones.Jenny US n. Fadge; minge.
> Jimmy Riddle rhyming slang Vicar friendly term for a piddle.
> jism n. Semen. Also gism.jittler n. Helmet cheese.
> jizz abbr. Jism v. To ejaculate.
> jizzbags n. The scrotum; John Wayne's hairy saddlebags.job n. A Richard
> (qv).
> jobby Scotch variation Job.
> jobby jouster n. A lunchbox lancer who jousts with another man's jobs.
> Jodrell rhym. slang J. Arthur (qv). From Jodrell Bank, the Knuts... fnarr
> fnarr! (qv) ... ford space research laboratory.Johnny See rubber Johnny.
> John Thomas n. The pet name by which Lady Chatterley's lover (on the level
> gardener Mellor) famously referred to his pink hoe, in the famous
saucybook.
> joombye (joom-bee) Scotch n. jism.jubblies n. Breasts; pink pouffes.
> jugs euph. Bosoms. As in: 'Pardon me madam, I was just admiring your
lovely
> pair of jugs"K
> kahoonas (ka-hooo-naaaz) n. Large wobbly breasts; golden bodangers
> ;kermungers.
> kak n. (ka-k) Shit. From the Afrikaans - keek.
> kakpipe cosmonaut n. One who prefers to dock with the rear unloading bay.
> kangaroo shagging a space hopper sim. Sexually energetic; promiscuous. As
in
> "Phoarr! She goes like a kangaroo shagging a space hopper".keech n. Crap;
> kak.
> keister n. kak hole; arse.khaki buttonhole See chocolate starfish.
> Khyber posh rhym. slang Anus. From Khyber Pass (par-ss) - arse.
> kipper n. Minge; Captain's pie.
> kipper for breakfast euph. To rise early and go for a horizontal jog (qv).
> Kit-Kat shuffler euph. Masturbateress; gusset typist.kitten hammock n.
Bra.
> kittens noses n. Nipples.
> kling-ons n. 1. Winnits; dangleberries; anal hangers-on. 2. One of many
Star
> Trek aliens with bumpy foreheads.
> klutz n. Idiot. From the German for block of wood.
> knackers n. (na-kaz) childish Testicles. As in: "Ooyaah! I've knacked me
> knackers!"
> knee trembler n. Intercourse while both parties are standing up. Often in
a
> shop doorway.knob cheese n. 1. Smegma. 2. Foreskin feta found underneath
> Kojak's
> roll-neck (qv) and around the banjo (qv) or cheese ridge. Also knob
stilton,
> knob yoghurt.
> Kojak's roll-neck n. Foreskin. Based on the bell end headed seventies TV
> detective.kosher dill n. Circumcised salami; Kojak minus the collar.L
> lab kebab abbr. Labia kebab; fish mitten (qv); vertical bacon sandwich
etc.
> labia lard See fanny batter.
> Lake Wendouree Aus. euph. Ejaculation, e,g. "Oh my God... Uuughh! I'm in
> Lake Wendouree!" From the lake at Ballarat (qv) Australia.
> langball n. A type of dangleberry (qv) which attaches itself to John
Wayne's
> hairy saddlebags (qv).langer n. Penis; whanger (qv).
> lamb cannon euph. An arms development dating somewhere between the pork
> sword (qv) and the bacon bazooka (qv).
> lapper n. A musician who plays the pink oboe (qv) a hairy pie eater (qv).
> lavender See whiff of lavender.
> lay a cable euph. Build a log cabin (qv). See also cable laying.
> lead the llama to the lift shaft euph. Sexual intercourse.
> Leo Sayer rhym. slang All dayer. Bender; prolonged drinking spree; all
> dayparty.
> lepidopterist n. Person who collects butterflies e.g. Val Doonican.
> lettuce n. Female genitalia.
> lickalotopus n. Latin name for a tuppence licker (qv) of pre-historic
> reptilian proportions.lid n. Bit above the brim (qv).lils n. Tits.
> liquid laughter n. Puke.log cabin See build a log cabin.loon pipe n. Anus.
> loose at the hilt adj. To have diarrhoea; crop spray (qv).
> lose your mess euph. Ejaculate; to shoot ones load (qv).lotties n.
Breasts.
> love puff euph. Gentle, lady-like fanny burp.
> love spuds euph. A root vegetable found in the shreddies (qv); knackers.
> love torpedo n. boastful Penis. As in: "I sank her bacon battleship with
my
> love torpedo". Also lovetruncheon.
> lucky Pierre n. In botting (qv), the busiest botter in a three man bum
chain
> (qv); the filling in a shirt lifter sandwich.
> lunch box n. In British tabloid journalism, that bulge which appears in
> athlete Linford Christie's shorts; a penis.
> lunchbox lancer n. archaic Medieval term for a coco shunter (qv). First
used
> by King Arthur to describe the French army. He wrote: "Fear not the
French,
> for their knights are without heart, and their King without wisdom. But
keep
> thine backs as to the wall, for amongst their number thou shalt find more
> than a few lunchbox lancers, I can tell you".
> lychees n. A more exotic alternative to plums (qv)M
> mackerel n. Pimp. (Unusually, a fish word not referring to the vagina).
> Madam Palm and her five sisters euph. Wanking. As in: "I'm just off to bed
> with Madam Palm and her five sisters".
> mammary dandruff n. Morning-after residue left by a pearl necklace (qv).
> manfat n. Semen. Also man's Milk
> mapatasi (ma-pa-ta-zee) euph. Aus. Minge. As in: "Show us yer mapatasi,
> Sheila". abbr. Map of Tasmania. From the similarity in shape of said
island
> to a muff.
> map of Africa n. The unfortunate stain left on the bed sheet and often the
> mattress below after a sexual exchange of bodily fluids.
> marge n. A loose woman. From margarine -`spreads easily'.
> margold n. The ability to do 5 pop shots (qv) in two hours. To do a
margold.
> After the US porn actor Bill Margold.
> Marmite motorway n. Anus; arsehole; back passage.
> Marmite driller euph. See brownpipe engineer.
> meat and two veg. euph. Penis and testicles; wedding tackle.
> meat market euph. Bar or club heaving with totty (qv).
> meat seeking pissile euph. Penis; love torpedo.
> milkman euph. affectionate Penis; pork sword.
> mince medallions n. See dangleberries.
> mess n. Semen; gunk; cock hockle. See also lose your mess.
> ming Scotch v. To emit a foul smell. As in: "Christ, it's minging in
here!"
> minging n. Awful. As in: "Peter Beardsley's haircut was minging".
> minge (minj) n. Fanny; quim.minge winker euph. Strip tease artist.
> minnie moo n. Minge.mohair knickers euph. A large minnie moo.
> monkey n. Vagina. As in: "Does the monkey want a banana?"
> Montezuma's revenge n. Diarrhoea; Tijuana cha-cha (qv).
> moss cottage n. John Thomas's ideal home; minge.mott n. Minge; mapatasi.
> muck n. Mess (qv). As in "Shoot your muck"muck spreader n. Arse; bum.
> mud n. Excrement.muddy funster n. Botter (qv).
> mudeye n. Arse; ringpiece; your old fashioned plastic tea towel holder.
> muff 1. n. Minge; fanny. 2. v. To shag; have intercourse with. 3. v. To
miss
> an easy goal scoring opportunity, e.g. "Andy Cole has muffed it."
> muff diver n. A footballer who misses easy goal scoring opportunities,
then
> falls over in an attempt to win a penalty kick.
> muff nudge n. The light brushing of your favourite female hairdresser's
> waist against your elbows while she leans forward to cut your hair.
> mullet n. That strange haircut favoured by country and western singers and
> eighties footballers.
> mumblers n. Tight women's bicycle shorts through which you can 'see the
lips
> moving` but can't understand a word. See also Twix lips, camel's foot,
> hungry arse.mung n. A particularly runny type of arse feta (qv).
> mustang n. Of shitty arses, that stubborn dangleberry (qv) which cannot he
> shaken off.
> mutton musket euph. A smaller more portable field weapon than the lamb
> cannon. Also mutton bayonet, mutton dagger.
> mutt's nuts adj. (Superlative of good) Variation of dog's bollocks.N
> nads n. Testicles; plums. abbr. gonads.nadbag n. Nutsack; scrotum.
> navigator of the windward pass euph. Rear admiral (qv).
> Niffkin's bridge n. Female equivalent of the Biffin bridge or barse (qv).
> Nobbies rhym. slang. Piles; Emmas; bum grapes. From Nobby Stiles,
combative,
> bald, false teethed 1966 World Cup winning English footballer.norks n.
> Knockers.
> norton n. Bearded clam; Beetle bonnet (qv).O
> olivia v. To have sex with several filthy tramps on a piss stained
mattress,
> all at once.
> oil the truncheon euph. To polish the bobbies helmet; collect one's own
> kindling; wank.
> onanism (oh-nun-ism) n. 1. Incomplete sexual intercourse. 2. A posh word
> what the Queen might use for wanking and that.
> on the other bus euph. Homosexual; bowling from the Pavilion end (qv).
> one eyed trouser snake euph. Penis; John Thomas; pink oboe. Also one eyed
> zipper fish, one eyed pant python.
> one off the wrist euph. Five knuckle shuffle; hand shandy.
> open your lunchbox euph. To float an air biscuit (qv) resembling
yesterday's
> egg sandwiches.
> owner operator euph. Wank er; one who plays with his own pork sword.P
> painting the ceiling euph. Wanking; the one handed snake charming of the
> pant python.pan handle UK euph. Erect penis; wood; a bonk on.
> pant moustache n. The effect achieved when the mapatasi (qv) extends
> symmetrically beyond either side of the shreddies (qv). See also
> spiderslegs.
> pants 1. interj. Exclamation of dismay. 2. n. Rubbish; nonsense; arse. As
> in: "You're talking pants!".paps n. Olde Worlde Tits.
> park the fudge v. To shit; pass a stool; crimp off a length.
> particulars n. Of low budget British sex comedies involving police
officers,
> a ladies underwear; knickers. As in: "H-excuse me medem, but I may need to
> take down your particulars". (Fnarr fharr! (qv))
> passion flaps n. A more romantic term for an axe wound (qv).
> passion pit n. Bed. See also Dutch oven.
> Pat Cash rhym. slang. Slash; piss; siphon the python. From the Australian
> tennis player.
> pavement pizza n. The contents of ones stomach as they appear after
barfing
> (qv) in the street.
> pearl necklace n. The sticky consequences of reaching the Billy Mill
> roundabout (qv) whilst having a sausage sandwich (qv). As in: "I gave her
a
> beautiful pearl necklace".
> pebble dash v. To crop spray (qv) the toilet bowl with clarts (qv).
> peeling the carrot euph. Spanking the monkey.
> Percy 1. UK n. Penis. As in: "Im just off to point Percy at the
porcelain".
> 2. A small green 0-4-0 saddle tank steam locomotive.
> period drama n. To describe the moody and eratic behaviour of women at
times
> of PMT.pie See hairy, fish, Captain's.pills n. Pods; knackers (qv).
> pilot of the chocolate runway See navigator of the Windward passage.
> pinch a loaf See curl one off.
> pineapple rhym. slang. Sperm; semen. From pineapple chunk - spunk.
> pink Darth Vadar euph. Cock. From the Star Wars character with a bell end
> (qv) for a helmet.
> pink oboe euph. Penis. As in: "Tell me madam, do you play the pink oboe?"
> pink steel n. Material used as an alternative to wood (qv).
> pink velvet sausage wallet euph. Vagina.
> pipe smoker 1. US n. Botter (qv). 2. A person who smokes a pipe.
> pirate of men's pants euph. Swashbuckling term for your jolly Rogerer;
cock;
> penis.piss flaps 1. n. Labia; beef curtains. 2. interj. Exclamation of
> disappointment. As in "Oh piss flaps! I never win the Lottery!"
> piss rusty water Roger Mellie euph. To gargle and spit arse piss (qv); to
> crop spray.
> pitch a tent v. To get wood (qv) beneath the bed linen, or conspicuously
in
> ones trousers.
> playing the bone-a-phone euph. Wanking; partaking of a hand shandy.
> play the pink oboe v. To perform oral sex on a man. Usually homophobic. As
> in: "I didn't know Michael Barrymore played the pink oboe".
> plinthe n. A large and somewhat redundant penis.
> plonker n. An actor who relies entirely on one crap put-down line and a
> three wheeler car to maintain an entire situation comedy for years and
years
> and fucking years.
> plums n. Knackers; balls; testicles. Together with melons and large pairs,
> the source of much mirth in British fruit shops.
> plumber's toolhag euph. The furry bicycle stand (qv); mott.
> Plymouth Argyles rhym. slang Piles. From the famous Plymouth football
club.
> poblycwm Welsh n. People who like quim (qv).
> pocket frog n. A fart; botty burp; anal announcement.
> pocket rocket See porridge gun.poe S. Africa n. Vagina.
> poe slap n. Sanitary towel.pogue mahone Gaelic Kiss my arse, to be sure.
> poke v. male To shag; screw; have sex with.
> polish the lighthouse v. male To masturbate in the bath.
> poo packer See Marmite driller.poo pipe pirate See kakpipe cosmonaut.
> poop chute n. Bumhole; arse.
> pop shot n. A scene in a pornographic movie in which a male actor is
> required to splash his population paste (qv) on camera, after being
suitably
> prepared by the fluffer (qv).population paste n. Semen; baby bullets (qv).
> pork sword n. Penis; bacon bazooka; lamb cannon etc.
> porridge gun n. A tool used to distribute population paste (qv).
> portion n. A good seeing to; a shag. As in: "I'd give her a portion, and
no
> mistake".pouch n. An aging, saggy mott (qv) that hangs like a sporran.
> pugwash Aus. n. Blow job.
> pull a train euph. To take turns at stirring the porridge (qv); for a
group
> of men to all have sex with the same lady friend.
> puma abbr. Pants Up My Arse. See hungry arse.puppies n. affectionate
> Breasts.
> purple headed womb broom euph. Penis. purple helmet n. Pink Darth Vader's
> headgear; bobbies helmet; bell end; glans.Q
> quack n. A short, sharp botty burp often followed by an apologetic
"Oops!".
> quaker n. Stool. As in: "Where is your lovely wife?" "Why, she has gone
> upstairs to bury a quaker".
> quaz n. Wanker; bell end ringer (qv). abbr. Quasimodo.
> queef US n. Vaginal fart; front botty burp.
> quim n. A refined word for the mapatasi (qv) such as a gentleman might use
> at a hay clarse cocktail party. From the Welsh Cwm - meaning valley
ofpubes.
> quimle v. To eat hairy pie (qv). I was quimling her, he quimled me, etc.R
> rag week n. 1. A charity event during which students raise money for good
> causes. 2. The time of the month when the no bathing flags fly.
> raisin bag n. Nut sack (qv); John Wayne's hairy saddlebags.
> rake the cage out euph. To build a log cabin; give birth to a Richard
(qv).
> ram shackled euph. To be engaged in the act of botting (qv).
> reach around n. In botting, pouring your partner a hand shandy (qv) whilst
> ram shackled.
> rear admiral n. A sailor who prefers to navigate the Windward passage
(qv).
> rear gunner n. In aviation terms, a gunner who shoots one of his own
> aircraft by firing his lamb cannon (qv) into the bomb bay (qv).
> rectal retort n. Fart.
> red wings n. The honour bestowed upon someone who consumes a haddock
pastie
> (qv) during rag week (qv).rib cushions euph. Breasts.
> Richard n. rhym. slang. Turd. From Richard the Third. e.g. "I've just
given
> birth to a ten pound Richard".
> ride the great white knuckler euph. To play rhythm on ones own pink oboe.
> ride the porcelain bus euph. An involved visit to the lavatory. For
example,
> one which encompasses pebble dashing (qv).
> ride the waves euph. Shagging a generously proportioned lady friend. As in
> 'Slap the fat - ride the waves".
> ring n. Jacksie; anus; brown eye; chocolate starfish.
> ring master n. 1. The master of ceremonies at a circus. 2. A botter (qv).
> ring sting n. Inflammation of the ring (qv) as a result of pissing rusty
> water (qv) such as after visiting the Rupali restaurant in Newcastle and
> sampling the world's hottest curry.Roger Ramjet n. Botter.
> Ronson rhym. slang Arse. From Ronson lighter - shiter.root Aus v. To shag.
> rope the pony euph. To wank.
> rotoplooker (ro-to-ploo-ka) US n. Penis; chopper; whanger.
> roundhead n. A pink Darth Vadar (qv) after the surgical removal of his
> Kojak's roll-neck (qv); a yiddled whanger.
> round up the tadpoles euph. To wank; bash the bishop.
> rub-a-tug shop n. Down market brothel; house of ill repute.
> rubber Johnny n. A blob; contraceptive. Also rubber.
> rug munchers n. See fanny noshers.
> rump gully n. Viewed from Biffin bridge (qv), the gradually sloping valley
> beyond kak canyon.
> rumpy pumpy n. A polite term for sexual intercourse used by professional
> people, vicars etc.
> russet gusset n. Skidmarks (qv) or dangleberry (qv) smudging of the
> shreddies (qv).
> rusty sheriffs badge euph. Ride along Biffin bridge (qv) from John Wayne's
> hairy saddlebags (qv) and there it is, right in the middle of kak canyon.
> Just before rump gulley.rusty water See piss rusty water.S
> saddle bags n. 1. Labia; piss flaps. 2. Scrotum. As in John Wayne's hairy
> saddlebags.
> salami slapper n. One who tolls upon their own bell end (qv); a wanker.
> salmon canyon n. The area beyond the beef curtains (qv); that boat crewed
by
> the bald man (qv); fanny.
> sausage jockey n. Anyone who sits on a sausage and bounces up and down.
> homophobic Botter.
> sausage sandwich n. A juicy salami slipped between two pink baps, the end
> result of which is a pearl necklace (qv).
> SBD abbr. Silent but deadly. A subtle release of pungent botty gas. Also
> silent but violent.
> scumbag n. The ultimate term of abuse known to Garry Bushell and other
> tabloid journalists.sea monster See swamp donkey.
> serpent socket euph. That hole with which the one eyed trouser snake (qv)
> connects.
> shaft 1. v. To shag; screw. 2. The penis. 3. The black private dick that's
a
> sex machine to all the chicks.
> shag v. To have sex; to fuck. n. A sexual encounter; a screw.
> shagability n. A measurement of how shaggable a person is.
> shaggable n. One who has a high degree of shagability.
> shagged out n. Exhausted; jiggered; buggered; fucked.
> shake the lettuce euph. fem. Girly expression for having a piss.
> shaking hands with the unemployed euph. A wrestling bout between Hand Solo
> and the pink Darth Vadar; wanking.
> shampoo the rug euph. To lose one's population paste (qv) on a mapatasi
> (qv). Often when getting off at Edge Hill (qv).
> shave a horse euph. To have a piss; take a leak.
> shed n. A large, promiscuous woman; slag. Somewhere to stick your tools.
> Sherman rhym. slang. Masturbate. Sherman tank - wank.
> shirt lifter See uphill gardener.
> shit a brick 1. interj. Exclamation of surprise. 2. euph. To be scared.
See
> shit your pants.shiter (shy-tuh) n. Arse; kak cannon. That which shites.
> shite house (shyt-howss) n. Outside lavatory.
> shit faced n. Arseholed; intoxicated; drunk to excess. As in: 'I saw that
> Rory McGrath the other night. He was shit faced".shit locker n. Arse; bomb
> bay.
> shit stabber n. Pork swordsman.shitter n. 1. Anus; kakpipe. 2. Lavatory.
> shit your pants v. To be scared; drop a brick; cake ones keeks.
> shoot bunnies posh euph. To fart; pass wind; blow off.
> shoot in your boot euph. To be excited. Of Jimi Hendrix, Little Richard
> said: "Jimi made my big toe shoot right up in my boot".
> shoot your load v. To ejaculate; lose your mess; discharge the porridge
> gun(qv).
> shoulder boulders n. Large breasts; gazungas.
> shreddies n. Undercrackers; kecks; underpants; trolleys.
> Sigourney Weaver rhym. slang Beaver; Davey Crockett's hat.
> sing sweet violets euph. Airy alternative to building a log cabin (qv); to
> take a dump.
> siphon the python euph. Point Percy (qv) at the porcelain; have a piss.
> sixth gear n. Wanking, esp. in a parked car.
> skid marks n. Severe russet gusset (qv); pebble dashing (qv) of the
> undercrackers.slap the monkey See bash the bishop.
> skin boat n. Penis. As in: "I'll take the old skin boat to tuna town".
attr.
> Burgess Meredith.skin flick n. Art house film; blue movie; mamba matinee.
> skin flute See fleshy flugelhom, bed flute.
> skull buggery euph. Pugwash; salami sucking.
> slapper n. Slag; dirty woman. She who has been a round a bit.
> slash n. A piss; wee wee.
> slash and burn n. 1. Deforestation technique. 2. A painful symptom of
> venereal disease.
> slime (ss-loym) Aus v. To ejaculate; chuck ones muck. As in: "Hev yer
slimed
> yet Bruce?" "Will yer shat ap Sheila, ya puttin'me orf".
> sloppy seconds n. To be towards the back of a train (qv). See also
stirring
> the porridge.slit n. Blit; fanny; vertical bacon sandwich.
> smoke the bald man euph. To light up a salami cigarette. Also smoke the
> white owl.snatch n. Quim; vagina.snatch mouse n. Tampon.
> snowball v. To blow salami cigarette smoke back into the tobacconists
mouth.
> Sort of thing.
> soapy tit wank n. Sausage sandwich (qv) served in the bath or shower.
> sour apple quickstep euph. Suffering from diarrhoea. As in: "Your wife is
> taking rather a long time in the powder room". "Yes, I'm afraid she's
> dancing the sour apple quickstep this evening". See also Tijuana cha-cha.
> spadger Aus n. Vagina.
> spam alley n. The ideal venue for spam javelin (qv) throwing.
> spam javelin n. Penis.spam sceptre euph. Penis; pork sword (qv); cock.
> spasm chasm See spam alley.
> spend tuppence in ha'pennies and farthings euph. To pass loose stools;
have
> diarrhoea.
> spider's legs n. Of muffs (qv) rogue pubic hairs which protrude beyond the
> the knicker line.
> spit roast n. To be simultaneously skewered at both ends by pork swords
> (qv); a sausage jockey (qv) who plays a pink oboe (qv) whilst still in the
> saddle.splash me boots euph. To have a piss.
> split a kipper euph. male To have sex. As in "This lady appears to like
me.
> With luck I may later have the opportunity to split a kipper".
> sponge n. Of homosexual relationships, the submissive, feminine partner;
the
> noshee as opposed to the nosher. Usually the thin one. See also stone.
> spooge US n. Semen.
> sprogdrop n. Pregnancy. As in: "Congratulations. I hear your wife's
> suffering from sprogdrop".
> spunk n. 1. slang Semen. 2. Spirit; pluck. 3. Tinder made from fungus. 4.
> Aus. Good looking man; dish; hunk.
> spunk dustbin See bucket fanny, box of assorted creams (qv). Also
> spunkbucket.
> spurt your curd euph. Spread your spunk; infect others with your pluck and
> spirit.squirts n. The condition also known as the sour apple quick step.
> Also
> squitters, squite.steak drapes n. Gammon goalposts; beef curtains (qv).
> stench trench disaffictionate euph. Fanny.
> steg n. Woman resembling a ferocious, spiny, squat, prehistoric dinosaur,
> abbr. Stegosaurus. See also shed; swamp donkey.
> sticky belly flap cock n. A post wank condition suffered by bishop
> bashers(qv).
> stiffy n. A bone on; erection.
> Stilton muffle n. Pungent and unwashed fish mitten (qv).
> stirring the porridge euph. To have sloppy seconds; to dip into a box of
> assorted creams (qv).stoat n. Beaver; hairy clam.
> stone n. Of gay men and women, the opposite of a sponge (qv). The dominant
> partner. And usually no oil painting either.
> strain your greens euph. To have a piss.
> strangle Kojak euph. Male masturbation; peeling the carrot; stroking the
> wookie. See Kojaks roll-neck.
> stroke mag n. Top shelf literature; art pamphlet; gentleman's
> interestmagazine.
> swamp donkey n. A female bereft of physical beauty; tug boat; boiler; sea
> monster; steg.
> switch hitter US n. Bisexual; AC/DC; one who bends both ways. Deriv.
> baseball - the ability to bat with both hands.
> sword swallower n. Sword as in the pork variety.Ttackle See wedding
tackle.
> tackleshack n. Underpants.tadger n. Penis.
> tadpole yoghurt euph. A dressing to accompany a sausage sandwich (qv).
> tagnuts n. Winnits; dangleberries; mince medallions.tail gunner See rear
> gunner.
> taint n. Niffkin's bridge (qv). "Tain't arse and 'tain't fanny".
> take a Chinese singing lesson euph. Have a piss.
> taking Captain Picard to warp speed TV baldy / cock euph. Masturbation;
> strangling Kojak.tallywhacker n. jovial Penis; old man.
> Tardis fanny n. Deceptively spacious snatch (qv); bargain bucket (qv).
> tatty water (ta-tee-wa-ta) n. Spud juice; semen. Literally - potato water.
> tea towel holder euph. Anus. From the 1950s plastic 'finger poke style'
> kitchen accessory.technicolour yawn See pavement pizza.
> teggat n. A short tea towel holder (qv) and the fish mitten (qv). From ten
> pin bowling.
> tenpin v. To place digits simultaneously in the tea towel holder (qv) and
> the fish mitten (qv). From ten pin bowling.
> thrap v. To masturbate furiously; to give it six nowt on the Right
> Honourable member for Underpants.three legged beaver euph. Homosexual.
> thruppeny bits rhym. slang Tits. abbr. thrups.
> throwing a Woodbine down Northumberland Street euph. Newcastle
Unsatisfying
> sex with a bucket fannied (qv) individual. As in: "Why man, it was like
> throwin' a fuckin' Woodbine doon Northumberland Street". Also Leeds
throwing
> a sausage up Briggate.thunder box n. archaic Lavatory; water closet.
> thunder mug n. Chamber pot.
> Tijuana cha-cha n. Diarrhoea. See sour apple quickstep.
> tiffter n. An unwanted erection.
> tit fairies n. The fictional visitors who magically transform the wife's
> fried eggs (qv) into TNTs (qv) during pregnancy.tit wank See soapy tit
wank.
> TNTs abbr. Two nifty tits.toosh n. Totty. From US tush v. meaning arse.
> tonsil hockey n. Kissing. As in: "Fancy a game of tonsil hockey?"
> top bollocks n. Breasts.
> topless hand shandy n. A service available from rub-a-tug shops (qv) for
> between �5 and �25.toss v. 1. To wank. 2. To flip pancakes during cooking.
> toss parlour See rub-a-tug shop.
> tosspot n. A person held in low esteem; a fuckwit.
> totty n. chauvinistic Girls; fanny. As in: "Hey, this car's a fanny magnet
> (qv). Since I bought it I've had to beat off the totty with a shitty
stick".
> touching cloth n. The stage immediately after turtles head (qv) when the
> stool establishes contact with the undergarments. As in: "Is there a
toilet
> anywhere round here mate? I'm touching cloth".
> tradesmen's entrance euph. Back passage.train See pull a train.
> trolleys n. Kecks; underpants.trots See squirts.
> trouser cough n. Fart; botty burp.
> trouser Mauser n. A small rapid firing porridge gun (qv).
> trouser trumpet n. 1. A fart. 2. The anus.
> tubesteak n. A beef bayonet on the bone.
> tug boat n. A woman of plain appearance and a compact, muscular build;
swamp
> donkey (qv).tummy truncheon n. Sixth gear stick; porridge gun; penis.
> tuna town n. Female genitalia. See also skin boat.tuppence licker n.
> Lesbian.
> turning Japanese euph. Wanking. See also grin like a wanking Jap.
> turtle's head n. The initial protrusion of a stool though the chocolate
> starfish (qv); the point at which contracts are exchanged for the building
> of a log cabin (qv). See also touching cloth.
> twat n. 1. A stupid person. 2. A minge.
> two puppies fighting in a bag euph. Large, mobile and unrestrained
breasts.
> two up n. Two up.
> Twix lips n. A front bottom (qv) version of hungry arse (qv). See also
> camel's foot.U
> U blocker n. A turd so big it causes a jobbie jam in the plumbing system.
> U.D.I. Unidentified drinking injury. A mysterious injury received during a
> bender (qv) and of which the victim has no recollection.
> undefuckable adj. Damaged beyond repair.
> up to your nuts in guts euph. male Aus. Engaged in sexual intercourse.
> undercarriage n. Genitalia (male or fem); wedding tackle.
> undercrackers n. Keeks; shreddies; Y fronts.
> unit n. Penis. As in: "I slipped her my unit".
> uphill gardener euph. He who hoes on the pink allotments; the pusher of a
> cheesey wheelbarrow (qv) up the kak canyon; a male homosexual.V
> vadge n. Vagina; fish mitten. Also US vag.Valentines Day porridge n.
Semen.
> veiny bang stick n. Penis; one eyed trouser snake.
> Velcro triangle n. Minge; mott; mapatasi. Also Velcro valley.
> vertical bacon sandwich n. That which is clearly visible in hamburger
shots
> (qv). Also vertical smile, vertical taco.
> vinegar strokes n. male The final, climactic stages of intercourse or
> masturbation. As in: "Would you believe it? The phone rang just as I was
> getting onto the vinegar strokes". From the similar facial expressions
> achieved when sipping vinegar.
> vixen n. A wily bird; a young temptress; a foxy chick. e.g. Stevie Nicks
in
> about 1978.
> vixer n. A sausage eater (not euph.) who hogs all the beach beds on
foreign
> holidays.
> vurp n. A burp which brings up a small but foul tasting quantity of
stomach
> contents, small enough to be gulped straight back down again.W
> walnut n. Gland up the male arse which causes immediate ejaculation
> when poked.
> walnut manouvre n. The mythical method by which good looking nurses are
> trained to poke your walnut (qv) in order to obtain a sperm sample.
> wank 1. n. Rubbish; nonsense. "That is a load of wank". 2. n.
Masturbation.
> "That was a dead good wank". 3. v. To masturbate. "I really enjoy
wanking".
> wanker n. 1. He who wanks. 2. A fellow road user; a motorist at whom one
> waves. As in: "Yeah... and you too, you wanker".
> wankily adj. Badly; sub standard. "He did that really wankily".
> wank sock n. A sock used in wanking. Possibly tied to a bed post and
> designed to indicate when wind conditions are suitable for masturbation.
> wanking spanners n. Hands.wap-waps n. Breasts. Also dedoo-wap-waps.
> waz v. variously To piss; to puke; to wank.
> wazzed adj. To be pissed, puked or wanked, presumably.
> wear the beard v. To perform oral sex on a woman. Of lesbians, the stone
> (qv). As in: "You can tell she wears the beard". Not to be confused with
> beard (qv).wedding tackle n. The male genitalia.
> wedge v. To pull another's underpants up the crack of their arse. n.
> Awedgie.
> welly top n. A term used to describe the vagina. "She had a fanny like a
> welly top".
> whanger n. Large penis. As in: "My, that's a fair whanger you have in your
> pants".wheek v. Scotch. To remove shit from an aeroplane toilet.
> wheel tapping at the Bourneville factory euph. Dabbling in homosexual
> practices; the apprenticeship served prior to qualifying as a fully
fledged
> coco shunter (qv).whidgey n. Eire Front bottom.
> whiff of lavender euph. Suspicion of a beard (qv) bride. As in: "I don't
> know about Edward. There's a whiff of lavender about that marriage".
> white mouse n. Tampon.whitewater wristing euph. To pull your pud;
> masturbate.
> white wee wee n. Planet Skaros Dalek term for semen.
> willnots n. Tagnuts; dangleberries. Arse fudge entwined in the kak canyon
> foliage which simply will not come off.Willy Woofter rhym. slang Poofter.
> wind jammer n. A brownpipe engineer (qv) who leaves his tool in the
> windpipe.
> winky 1. n. A baby's cock. 2. adj. Having a tendency to wink.
> winkybag 1. n. A baby's scrotum. 2. n. An ugly woman who winks a lot.
> winnie n. Lesbian; she who licks the honey pot.
> winnit n. Kling-on; dangleberry (qv); brown room hangers on.
> wood n. Erectness of the cock. "I have got wood".woody n. An erection.X
> X-ray specs n. Spectacles usually available by mail order only from crappy
> magazines which enable the wearer to see through a woman's clothing.
> XXX A special video certificate awarded to pornographic films of
> exceptionally poor sound and picture quality.
> xylophone v. To move along a fine of naked women who are all bending down,
> and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with ones penis; to
> play a tune on womens buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning wood (qv) and
> phonnicus meaning to hit tunefully.Y
> yabba dabbas n. The climactic stages of intercourse; vinegar strokes (qv).
> yak n. 1. A large, hairy animal of untidy appearance. 2. Feminist's beaver
> (qv); minge with a pant moustache (qv).
> Y bone steak n. The female opposite of a tubesteak (qv).yongles US n.
> Testicles.
> yank the plank euph. To spank your plank.
> yarbles n. Testicles. attr. A Clockwork Orange.Z
> zeps abbr. Zeppelins euph. Large breasts. Also Hindenburgs.
> zig-a-zig ahhh! onomatopoeia To have a bloody good wank while watching a
> Spice Girls video.Zinzanbrook (zin-zan-bruk) NZ rhym. slang Fuck; have
sex.
> zipperfish n. Penis; trouser trout; underpant eel, etc.
> zorba v. To have sex with a native whilst on holiday in Greece. As in:
"Did
> you zorba?"
> zuffle v. To wipe one's cock on the curtains after having sex in a posh
> bird's house.
>
> --
> Kadaitcha Man
> Moderator: alt.os.windows-xp
>
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--
Kadaitcha Man
Moderator: alt.os.windows-xp