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Article #70

Regaining Self-Control

#70
From: Troy Varange
Date: Fri, 27 Dec 1996 00:00
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REGAINING SELF-CONTROL - STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty.  Many have
been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine
that it must be so.

This determination is the first step.  That is where we begin.
You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you
make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing
that it is good for you.  It must be actually a DECISION. If
you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you
will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may
have and any temptations which may come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following
specific guidelines:

1.   Never touch the intimate parts of your body except
     during normal toilet processes.

2.   Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company
     and stay in this good company.

3.   If you are associated with other persons having this
     same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP.  Never
     associate with other people having the same weakness.
     Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you
     never will.  You must get away from people of that kind.
     Just to be in their presence will keep your problem
     foremost in your mind.  The problem must be taken OUT OF
     YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists.  Your mind
     must be on other and more wholesome things.

4.   When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror. Never
     stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just
     long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF
     THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member
     of your family present.

5.   When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for
     the most part, dress yourself for the night so securely
     that you cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so
     that it would be difficult and time consuming for you to
     remove those clothes.  By the time you started to remove
     protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled
     your thinking that the temptation would leave you.

6.   If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed,
     GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF
     A SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and
     even if you are not hungry, and despite your fears of
     gaining weight.  The purpose behind this suggestion is
     that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE.  You are the
     subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7.   Never read pornographic material. Never read about your
     problem.  Keep it out of mind.  Remember -- "First a
     thought, then an act."  The thought pattern must be
     changed.  You must not allow this problem to remain in
     your mind.  When you accomplish that, you soon will be
     free of the act.

8.   Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read
     good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of
     the Brethern.  Make a daily habit of reading at least one
     chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four
     Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon.
     The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John --
     above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because
     of their uplifting qualities.

9.   Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about this problem,
     for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever.
     Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures,
     pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your
     friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR
     MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH
     OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS.  KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!

The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how
easy it is to overcome.  It is essential that a firm commitment
be made to control the habit.  As a person understands his
reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or
situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops
the power to control it.

We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are
to be clean so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us.
Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs one of the Spirit
and creates guilt and emotional stress.  It is a habit that is
totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses
the proper use of the procreative power given to man to fulfill
eternal purposes.  It therefore separates a person from God
and defeats the gospel plan.

This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his
self-respect testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and
other Church callings become burdensome offerings.

To help in planning an effective program to overcome the
problem a brief discription is given of how the reproductive
organs in a young man function.

The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of
millions of reproductive cells call spermatozoa.  These are
moved up a tube called the vas deferens to a place called the
ampulla where they are mixed with fluids from two membranous
pouches called seminal vesicles and the prostate gland.
The resultant fluid when the seminal vesicles are full a signal
is sent to the central nervous system indicating they are ready
to be released, how often depending on such things as exercise,
state of health, etc., occasionally or several times a week,
for others.

It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at
night during sleep when called by the central nervous system.
Often an erotic dream is experienced at the same time, and
is a part of this normal process.  If, instead masturbating,
the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace,
trying to keep up with the loss of semen.  When he stops the
habit, the body will continue to produce at his increased rate,
for an indefese are not harmful and are to be endured until
the normal central nervous system pathway of release.

As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for
overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of the
techniques mentioned above.  Remember it is essential that
a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be
recognized and failures understood and eliminated.

Suggestions:

1.   Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which
     will strengthen you against temptation.  Pray fervently
     and not out loud when the temptations are the strongest.

2.   Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises
     reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely
     basic to the solution of this problem.  Double your
     physical activity when you feel stress increasing.

3.   When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_
     to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and
     then recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational
     hymn.  It is important to turn your thoughts away from
     the selfish need to indulge.

4.   Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week,
     month, year and finally commit to never doing it again.
     Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always
     be open to temptation.

5.   Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved
     through a changed self-image.  Spend time every day
     imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming
     tempting situations.

6.   Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate
     this plan to improving your Church service, to improving
     your relationships with your family, God and others.
     Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.

7.   Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others
     and learn to enjoy working and talking to them.  Use
     principles of developing friendships found in books such as
     _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.

8.   Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause
     you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged.
     These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate
     as a way of escape.  Plan in advance to counter these
     low periods through various activities, such as reading
     a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

9.   Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry
     it with you, but show it to no one.  If you have a lapse
     of self control, color the day black.  Your goal will be
     to have _no black days_.   The calendar becomes a strong
     visual reminder of self control and should be looked at
     when you are tempted to add another black day.   Keep your
     calendar up until you have at least three clear months.

10.  A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at
     certain times and under certain conditions.  Try and
     recall, in detail, what your particular times and
     conditions were.  Now that you understand how it happens,
     plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11.  In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective
     technique called _aversion therapy_.  When we associate or
     think of something very distasteful with something which
     has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful
     thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that
     which was pleasurable.  If you associate something very
     distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help
     you to stop the act.  For example, if you are tempted to
     masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms,
     and eat several of them as you do the act.

12.  During your toileting and shower activities leave the
     bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage
     being alone in total privacy.  Take cool brief showers.

13.  Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in bed awake,
     no matter what time of day it is.  Get up and do
     something. Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

14.  Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large
     amounts of fluids before retiring.

15.  Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your
     food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16.  Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
     not binding.

17.  Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials
     that might create sexual excitement.

18.  It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
     in overcoming this problem.  A Book of Mormon, firmly
     held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in
     extreme cases.

19.  In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to
     the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of
     masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken.
     This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers
     of clothing which would be difficult to remove while
     half asleep.

20.  Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not
     have to be a big reward.  A quarter in a receptacle each
     time you overcome or reach a goal.  Spend it on something
     which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of
     your progress.

21.  Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude
     patterns which were part of your problem.  Satan Never
     Gives Up.  Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a
     positive mental attitude.  You can win this fight! The
     joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your
     whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction
     and fulfillment.

-- 
Cheers!
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From: varange@crl.com (Troy Varange)
Subject: Regaining Self-Control
Date: 1996/12/27
Message-ID: <Love@295701>
X-Deja-AN: 206291297
here: Fri Dec 27 14:27:49 PST 1996
organization: Moderator of soc.culture.europe
reply-to: varange@crl.com
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