🚀 go-pugleaf

 

We're sending you an invitation.
Hope to see you there!


Hello, Saps and Suckers!

Have you ever missed a party you knew you'd enjoy?

Luckily, the party is just about to begin -- and you're among the first of our
Members to receive a personal invitation. On its way to you is an Upgrade Kit
containing an advance copy of the all-new AOL® 9.0 Optimized on CD-ROM. The
download worked like $hit, maybe you will have better luck with the CD-Rom? 
Keyword is "optimized" here. Don't you love it? We at AOL think it's brilliant.
It's sorta like "turbocharged"!--- Isn't it great? Can't wait for that CD, can
you?  We brainstormed on that term for weeks. Well, enough about "optimized"! 
By the way did you know that optimize means "to make perfect"? OK. Let's get on
with the good news about 9.0 "optimized". 

9.0 Optimized brings you over 100 new and exciting features and is the first
upgrade created based on feedback from Members like you, so don't miss out.
It's not just 9.0, it's 9.0 optimized!! Yes, It's "Optimized"!! It is just
plain and simple "perfection",  8.0 was not "Optimized." 9.0 is "Optimized". 

Upgrade as soon as you receive your free Upgrade Kit and discover the enhanced
online experience of AOL 9.0 Optimized. Once on 9.0 Optimized, be sure to take
advantage of the Live Help feature and chat with a knowledgeable Member
Services consultant to discover all that's new. OOps, did my nose grow a tad?
They are knowledgeable for sure. They have learned to wash their food. OK, it
is true that our tech calls are routed to foreign countries such as India,
Pakistan and many other countries. But, let me assure you that AOL carefully
screens all emails for anthrax and bombs, or whatever may be the fad of the
day. It is simply "smart" Business. Those folks will work for 6 cents a day and
a bowl of rice. Smart as a whip too! Enough about that. Let's get on with 9.0
"Optimized".  

With the new AOL 9.0 Optimized, you'll enjoy:

Optimized Performance
Optimized Security
Optimized Spam Filters
Optimized E-mail, enhanced instant messaging, and more. We have "Optimized
everything! 

More of everything Members asked for, including faster Web page downloading on
dial-up connections with our new TopSpeed™ web acceleration technology.* Does
that sound impressive? Most of our members said they would be happy if 9.0
"Optimized"just worked!, but we took it one step further and we are giving you
web accelerated optimized..whatever that means. We listen to our members. --The
best is yet to come.  

But if all that's new with 9.0 Optimized still isn't enough, there's one more
thing we want you to know: We are only raising our price to $29.95! Can you
believe that? Fully "Optimized" for that small price?

Your satisfaction is guaranteed.**

That's right. Just upgrade to 9.0 Optimized and use it for 10 days -- if you're
not totally thrilled, (I know it gives me goosebumps all over)  apply to waive
one month of your AOL membership fees. So watch your mail for your free Upgrade
Kit to enter the dazzling, dramatically enhanced online experience of AOL 9.0
Optimized.---- Ok, the nose grew a tad again. So many people are bitching at us
about 9.0, we have to buy some time. We will try to work out the "bugs" and
hopefully you will be graceful enough to give us the time we need.  Please? No
promises now.  OK?   We really can't guarantee that free month tho, we have a
hard time with billing. If you are being double billed at this time for no good
reason, we can only give you credit for one.  Sorry.    

It's time to come to the party. Upgrade free. Upgrade now."Optimize" now!
Satisfaction guaranteed. 

To learn more about AOL 9.0 Optimized and your Satisfaction Guarantee, visit
AOL Keyword: Upgrade Kit.

Sincerely, 
The 9.0 Optimized Upgrade Team

*Based on VeriTest study comparing AOL 9.0 Optimized with TopSpeed web
acceleration technology versus leading dial-up ISPs. August 2003. Actual
performance may vary depending on connection speed and Internet Web pages being
accessed. I think that lets us off the hook fairly well. We love loopholes! 
Plus, the other leading ISPs are not "Optimized". 

**about AOL features and services or your account. If you would prefer not to
receive further E-mail about enhancements to your AOL service, go to AOL
Keyword: Email Preferences and unsubscribe. This screen name cannot respond to
replies, for obvious reasons.