🚀 go-pugleaf

Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all.

Yelling at me for barking...I AM A DOG!!

How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while
you're gone.
Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat spit?!!

Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk
is this anyway?

Any trick that involves balancing anything on my nose...stop it.

Yelling at me for peeing and rubbing my bum on your carpet. Why'd you buy
carpet?

Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I
haven't quite mastered that firm handshake thing yet.

How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth - you're
just jealous.

Dog sweaters. Hello...have you noticed the fur?

Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know
why we chew your stuff up when you're not home

When you pick up the poop in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule
that puts me?

Taking me to the vet for "the big snip," then acting surprised when I freak out
every time we go back.

And the #1 Pet Peeve from the dog's perspective..


The slight of hand, fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! 
What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!