🚀 go-pugleaf

>From: xgrigoryrasputin

>i will not quote from the posts but i know what you are saying...my parents
>are
>both gone...i have one brother who is 6 years older than i...both my parents
>passed from cancer...my father first and then a few years later my
>mother....i
>brought my mother home and hospice came in to help me....she had to go back
>to
>the hospital and was there for 6 weeks...my brother talked me into putting
>her
>in a nursing home...she chose one not far from my house so i wouldnt have to
>travel far...it was terrible...i had to bathe her...feed her...give her
>meds...and all of this for 4,000 a month....she begged me to bring her back
>home....soooooooo....i told her i would get her out of there as soon as i
>could...i called my brother and told him i was taking mom home....he said
>thats
>fine on the phone...but later that evening he and my sil visited me....they
>walked up onto my porch and set down and proceeded to tell me that i could
>expect no help from them with mom....actually i had not asked them for help
>and
>they didnt help the first time i took care of her....i dont know what it
>is...and like you andrea...it seemed that my brother always took advantage of
>my parents....always there with his hand out but when it was reversed he
>didnt
>have time for it...its sad really...at least i got to spend my mothers last
>days with her and he missed out....this is the reason that i have not spoken
>to
>my brother in over 10 years...not because i needed his help but because my
>mother needed him to be there ...just for emotional support.....ok theres my
>rant for the day....these sort of posts always upset me because ive been
>there
>and done that.....good luck andrea...i hope things get better for you
>hon.....betts
>
(((((((Betts))))))  There's a big hug for you.  This is one of my biggest
fears...that I will be the ONLY one willing to care for our parents when the
time comes.  My father has a bad heart and my mother has a chronic illness (or
2 or 3....she's still getting tests).  My own MIL went through something
similar with her sister that you did with your brother.  She took and took and
took from their mother, but when the time came for her to be cared for....she
was too busy living her life.  My MIL actually uprooted herself and moved to
her mother's house for several years to care for her.  This caused extreme
stress to all involved because she just shut us all out.  She did not want
holidays....birthdays were a bother to her and when I had my last child she is
the ONLY one who did not come to visit.  She is the type of personality who
would want us all to feel sorry for her because she had to care for her mom. 
While I admire her for actually caring for grandma...I still know her motives
were not pure of heart and that does bother me.  I care for my family (and his
too, ugh) because in my heart I know it's the right thing to do.  I don't want
people to pity me for doing it, I just want them to appreciate me for doing it.
 My MIL will never speak to her sister again now that their mother is
gone....in some ways I can't blame her.  The hurt runs too deep in that family.
 I fear someday I will be the one wanting to shut out all the siblings after
our parents are gone......simply because they treated our parents so badly. 
Ahh....family.....the only group of people you have to love even when they act
like they hate you. :-)