🚀 go-pugleaf

>From: xgrigoryrasputin

>this is the key....appreciation...and that doesnt mean bowing down and saying
>thank you a million times...its just taking the time to admit that what has
>been done was appreciated....i would do it all over again because my mother
>and
>i were very close...i still miss her and its been 12 years...and this may
>seem
>cruel but i put a stop to taking care of my mil....she is the type of person
>who doesnt think about what your needs are...just hers....she was a mean
>woman
>when i met my husband and now shes a mean OLD woman...my hubby is the middle
>child....a sister older and a sister younger....they all moved out of town
>and
>left me here to contend with her....i did it for many years...until i finally
>got fed up and said no more...i actually dont think its my place to take care
>of her...it is her daughters' place....i know it sounds awful but you have to
>set limits because if you dont you will go crazy trying to take care of
>everyone...where are these people when you need taken care of....always
>busy....do i sound cynical lol....well after 39 years of marriage i have
>earned
>my cynicism lol....my next rant in a couple of days will be about
>teenagers....hold on to your hats hahahaha....betts
>
~~~~~~
Yes appreciation is the key.  I too have had to put the stop to some of the
time I spend caring for my MIL and her little dramas.  Mainly because she
creates drama so she can get attention and to me that is just sick and I can't
be dragged into that childish behavior.  I still get roped in by my inlaws from
time to time, but I try to escape as soon as I can!  I have to admit it is nice
after only 15 years together my husband finally realized just how dysfunctional
his family is...lol.  Now that he sees what they are actually trying to pull on
us he backs me up more often.  In the beginning it was me against...all of
them, even my own husband.  He was so blind to his momma's actions it nearly
tore us apart.  I could tell stories on that woman that would make your eyes
burn!  Finally I just decided to suck it up, stick it out, and pray he finally
cut that apron string.  I put in a happy face and pretended everything was
"just fine dear".  Whenever  a situation came up, I made sure he knew about
what she said or did, but I did it in a sugar sweet way.  He finally realized
what she was up to.  She undermines me every chance she gets.  His parents were
"seperated" for a while and we were basically informed by other family members
it was our duty to take her in.  Now, there was no way that was going to happen
while I still had a heartbeat!  I gave her advice on her options, offered her
the couch for 2 weeks, but told her I would not tolerate her interfering with
my children and the way I raise them, I would not tolerate her belittling their
grandfather in front of them, I would not tolerate her trying to play the
"martyr" from MY house..etc.  She chose not to move in.  It was a contentious
time here....and nearly ended our marriage, but my husband overheard some of
the crapola his mother was saying to me, in front of one of the kids and he
came unhinged.  It finally was clear what she had been doing all these years. 
He told her to STFU and get the H out of HIS house.  While I wish he had not
been so harsh, I realize it was EXACTLY what she needed to hear from her "baby
boy".  She backed off...way off.  She only recently started trying to "get back
in" but she still slides back to her old ways and that annoys me beyond belief.
 I have enough issues having to care for MY OWN mother (and grandmother) ...I
don't need his on my mind too!

BTW...would love to rant about teens.  Mine is generally a GREAT kid, but
dangit she has those moments...when I truly wonder if she is the same child I
gave birth to 14 years ago....lol.