🚀 go-pugleaf

Beware the following story just might make you want to go hug your own mother
in law and realize she is not as bad as you previously thought.

The "Hag in law" a story by me.

I had just had our second child.  We had only been married a couple of years. 
We were still getting used to each other.  My husband still had many single
friends.  He took a new job, a higher paying job that required him to work out
of town for the first time in our young marriage.  I had no worries he was only
2 hours away and renting an apartment with HIS FATHER and a friend from school.
 I mean really.....what son in his right mind would "act up" in front of his
own father? Enter the hag.  She is a very insecure woman.  She is jealous
beyond belief.  If others are happy, and she isn't....well then she will find a
way to make everyone as miserable as she is.  She kept calling me and trying to
imply I should be worried about my husband being away from home....implying
that he would cheat on me. I kept telling her, we were fine, nothing was up, he
was living with his dad for crying out loud!  I tried to tell my husband on the
weekends about his mother's phone calls, but he was skeptical.  Why would his
mommy say such crazy things about her own baby boy?  A few weeks went by. 
Nothing unusual.  The girls and I even traveled to his apartment a few times
just for fun and made dinner for all the men.  Great fun was had by ALL.  I
invited the hag to go along....she refused, saying it was not right for a woman
to intrude on the men like that?  What?  Then I get this call, from a strange
(apparently) woman.  She claims she is pregnant with my husband's child.  Her
details are sketchy and she seems as though she is reading from some sort of
script.  Her accent was very strange.  Not yankee, not southern, not
redneck....not anything consistant anyway..lol.  She goes on and on about this
night out and even knew my husband's best friend's name.  The problem
was.....he had been gone, already out of town, when she claimed he was out and
about with her.  So...this means he snuck back to town (a 2 hour drive),
managed to go out (she claimed the went bar hopping and got drunk) and not be
seen by at least ONE person I know....trust me, I know everyone!  Managed to
drive the 2 hour drive back to work, and go totally unnoticed by his father who
was staying in the same apartment?  Yeah right!  I called my husband all ready
to ask about it.  He was acting funny.....he'd been talking to his mom, she
said some things about ME going out and leaving the girls with babysitters.  He
couldn't believe I would do that because I had never wanted to leave them with
sitters!  Well, duh!  That is because his mother was making it up.  He seemed
skeptical.  I told him we would talk in a few days when he got home.  Meanwhile
my stomach is in knots.....could that strange woman be telling the truth?  I
confide in my best friend.  She says she KNOWS its the biggest bunch of BS she
has ever heard.  She reminded me of a time before he and I were married when we
were fighting and I took off and didn't tell him where I was going.  She says
"remember how upset he was?  he even cried in front of your mom!!!  Is that a
guy who does not love you? Remember he loved you long before you even noticed
him....there is no way he would f*&^ that up...no way!"  She was right.  It was
obviously a prank call. Soon I realized just WHO was behind that call.  The hag
calls me the night before he is to come home.  She starts in with this whopper
of a story.  Saying my FIL has been giving my hubby money behind my back and
sending him out with women.  That she KNEW her son was cheating on me.  She
couldn't believe how stupid I was not to believe that girl who called saying
she was pregnant.......what? wait a minute.....Only 3 people knew about that
call and my best friend would not reveal that secret to her priest let alone
the hag that made me so miserable on a daily basis, I knew about it and of
course the fool who called me knew about it.  Just how the heck did the hag in
law know about it?  I play along....acting as if she is not busted...she starts
giving details of the conversation that I did not even reveal to my best
friend.  Only the caller and I knew those details.  I am stunned.  I am
speechless.  Was she the caller?  No, surely I would know her voice.  Did she
actually get someone else to call me and say that shit?  Could she be that
diabolical?  I compose my thoughts.....she is saying "You know I can't talk to
my son about this, I don't want him mad at me, you HAVE to confront him, the
minute he gets home!  YOU have to be the one to ask about this.....it has to be
YOU...." Uh huh....yeah....keep singing bitch.......dig a little deeper. 
Husband gets home.  I am already bawling.  Not crying, but belly aching,
moaning and screaming type of crying. My best friend has picked up the girls
and taken them to dinner (and maybe a late night out).  I tell husband about
strange woman's call claiming to be pregnant.  He says "that is a f*&^ing 
lie!"  I say "I know it's a lie, I don't doubt you one bit"  Then  he says
"then why bring it up?"  I tell him of  his mother's call, and the fact she
knew details of the call that no one else but me and the caller could know.  He
says I must be lying.  His mother would never pull such a stupid assed stunt. 
I said....."fine... call her!"  Guess what?  She denied, denied, denied.  She
lied.  She denied some more.  Understandably my husband was so angry he
couldn't even spit.  He did not know what to believe.  He is screaming at me
calling me a liar.  I am screaming back telling him to stop being such a
freaking baby boy and to grow the hell up.  It was UGLY!  Then it dawns on me. 
I will call her and let him listen in.  I mean really....if she can pull phone
stunts on me, why not return the favor.  I beg my husband to go along so I can
at least prove what she said to me.  I call her and pretend he was so upset he
packed up and left......and she fell into my trap like a stupid fly in a
spider's web.  She starts blabbing on and on "I told you he was cheating...I
told you to believe that girl....I told you he was taking money from his
dad....I told you!"  I ask "why did you lie and claim you did not say these
things when he called?" and she says "well I can't have him mad at ME!"  I tell
her that I know he is not a cheater, I know he is faithful, I know better than
to be jealous all the time, I know he is not the type of person she claims he
is.  I say that I find it very difficult to understand a MOTHER....trying to
cause her son so much pain by breaking up his marriage.  I tell her that what
she did was wrong on so many levels.  Even IF it were true, she was not the one
to tell me.  It was her job as his mother to encourage him to come
clean......not take joy in doing it herself.  I don't know where I found the
strength to tell her off, but I did.  My husband sat silently listening.  He
had a look on his face I don't ever want to see again.  Pure rage.  This is one
of the few times we did not "talk about it" afterwards.  Still all these years
later, it is a subject I NEVER approach.  The pain and anger on his face that
night was enough for me.  I KNOW he knows what a bitch she is.  He can not deny
it.  He heard enough to know she had pulled a stunt on me.  That was a turning
point for him.  I won't claim he changed overnight.  He still struggled with
letting her run over me and not defending me for a few years, but over time..he
has started to stand up to her.  We struggled for years to overcome that
uncertainty in each other that she caused.  She planted that seed of suspicion
in our minds and tried to feed it over and over.  She really wanted us to
divorce.....why?  Perhaps to have another drama in her life to call the
neighbors about.....perhaps to get her "baby" back.....perhaps to gain custody
of MY children (oh yeah, she has made threats about that!)...perhaps because
she is just a raving lunatic who wanted me to be as insecure as she is?  Is she
jealous because even though we married young, and pregnant, just like her, we
managed to make it work?  Why wasn't this sweet little mother hen good enough
for her son?  Of all the children in the family....ours are truly the best
behaved, well mannered, and polite ones in the bunch.  Are we really that
awful?  Does she really want those precious grandchildren to suffer through a
divorce?   I still don't know if my husband ever confronted her about the prank
call.  I really don't want to know if he did.  I think he filed it away. 
Someday that stunt she pulled is going to come back to haunt her.  When that
day comes, I hope I am not around to witness it. 

 Now, go give your mother in law a hug.  She really isn't that bad is she?