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Article #4860 Fun Things to Do In An Elevator
From: S or N Tower
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 1997 00:00
Date: Sun, 09 Feb 1997 00:00
165 lines
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8301 bytes
60 Fun Things to Do In An Elevator 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2.Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smaking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Share, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no now, damn motion sickness!" 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 20. Meow occasionally. 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers "through" it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?' 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers. 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!' 51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes. 52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, sreaming "Aaughh! Get them off!" 53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament. 54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy. 55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part. 56. Make chalk drawings on the walls. 57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down, dammit!" 58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on. 59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going. 60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away. NOW, that I've got your ATTENTION, and that you have probably LAUGHED at least 50 times, let me get serious. I have an offer that will save you up to 70% on your long distance calling GUARANTEED. And the best part is that it costs you NOTHING to request this prepaid calling card. WHY would you want to RESPOND to my offer? Here are at least SEVEN REASONS... 1. DISCOUNTED long distance calling, at a GUARANTEED 19 cents per minute, anywhere, anytime, everyday, throughout the United States, including Alaska, and Hawaii....with DISCOUNTED international rates, too. 2. ACCESSIBILITY...these cards work on all telephones, even CELL phones....on any touch tone phone which you can make an 800 call from. 3. CONVENIENCE...no change to carry, carry this card like you would a credit card. 4. UNIVERSALITY...in fact you don't even need a telephone to use it. You only need a major credit card to charge it up (just like filling up your gas tank) for over 2 hours of usage to start. Recharge (refill) it whenever needed. You will enjoy the savings so much you will want to recharge it! 5. ANONYMITY....there will be no "paper trail" showing who you called. Your privacy is guaranteed. No one else needs to know who you called, anyway! That's your business. 6. NO SURPRISES...since you pay in advance, at a discounted rate, you will not receive a telephone bill for the calls you made on this card. It won't matter when you called, as there are no variables depending on what time you placed the call because you will pay a flat rate of 19 cents, period. And no surcharges added to each call, as much as 80 cents in some cases! Before you make any call you will be reminded of what your balance is on the card. 7. SAVINGS....last but not least, the reason you WANT this card! A 3 minute collect call from a pay phone may cost around $3.00, you will pay only 57 cents! The cost for many long distance carriers is around 37 cents a minute, you pay a mere 19 cents. And, of course, 19 cents, is all you pay. No nasty surcharges from the phone company or the hotel you're staying in. That's right a discounted NINETEEN CENT RATE all the time! MISCELLANEOUS USES: If you're a COLLEGE STUDENT, this card is great! Have ROOMMATES who don't like paying phone bills? Give each of them a prepaid calling card, and there will be no fights over who pays the bill. Everyone would be responsible for their own bill. If you're a PARENT of a COLLEGE STUDENT you love to hear from your son or daughter, but hate to pay for their collect calls. Give them a calling card, and charge it up for them! That way you will save your money for TUITION and other important things! A prepaid calling card makes a great gift! Send one to your Mom on Mothers Day!!! If you're a business owner and have EMPLOYEES who travel, give them a calling card to help control your long distance costs. This card works on all phones! HOW DO I GET ONE? This is the easy part, E-MAIL your postal address to my business E-MAIL address, TowerCom@juno.com as the e-mail I've used above is my personal e-mail address (which you can use as well, if can't for some reason use my business e-mail). When I receive your postal address, your prepaid calling card will be mailed to you right away. HOPEFULLY you enjoyed these FUN THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR. FEEL FREE TO COPY THIS AND E-MAIL IT TO YOUR FRIENDS. Thanks for attaching my offer in your e-mail. Best wishes to all, Steve Tower
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X-Google-Language: ENGLISH,ASCII-7-bit X-Google-Thread: 111125,57d4123dc370944f,start X-Google-Attributes: gid111125,public From: S or N Tower <s.n.tower@worldnet.att.net> Subject: 60 Fun Things to Do In An Elevator Date: 1997/02/09 Message-ID: <32FE054F.29AC@worldnet.att.net> X-Deja-AN: 217614715 content-type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii organization: AT&T WorldNet Services mime-version: 1.0 newsgroups: cs.logs.mirror x-mailer: Mozilla 2.01E (Win95; I)