🚀 go-pugleaf

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>>>Come visit D.C., it's well worth it!
>>
>>You don't live in DC.
>
>>>Oh, yeah, right, I forgot all about that impenetrable
>>>force field erected along the Potomac.  Yeah, there
>>>is absolutely no connection between Norther Virginia
>>>and DC at all, no roads, no TV stations,                           


>Yeah, and none connecting Canada and the US, New York and New Jersey,
>Ohio and Kentucky, Poland and Germany, Iraq and Saudi Arabia, etc.
>
>Its nice to know that we are all residents of every state and country
>that we have connecting roads and TV stations to.
>
>I smell an identity crisis.

>>>        What, you can't identify your ass? 


Sure I can, it's the nice firm round thing your suburban chicks like
to feel when I take them to my place after you suburban boys have
bought them drinks all night.


>>>        I live in an area
>>>        that can't get away from DC's influence if we tried.
>>>        You send your criminals to a prison on Virginia soil,


Virginia soil?

Well, we have to house your elected criminals in nice large white
buildings, and we don't get to lock them away from the general
population, while getting handsome rent payments.  I would say that
you got the sweetheart deal.



>>>        you demand I pay some kind of "commuter tax" just for
>>>        taking Metro into DC, 


What "commuter tax" do you pay?

Are there tolls on bridges, and payroll taxes imposed on suburban
workers in DC, like they are in other cities in the US?

Again, which is the government imposed commuter tax that you pay. 
Please elaborate.  Last time I checked, there was none.  You have an
exclusive here.


>>>        you walk your prostitutes over
>>>        the bridge into Arlington,

Nice try. One time this was done in the 1980's, and never once since. 
After they identified that over 90% of the consumers of District
prostitution were suburbanites, you would think you would appreciate
the gesture of having them moved closer to your homes, so you wouldn't
have to drive in and cruise our potholed streets to find them.

Since an overwhelming majority of the DC drug trade exists to serve
the suburban demand for narcotics, perhaps we will move them out
closer to you as well.  Hence, that prison on "Virginia soil" that you
speak of.

Your lack of gratitute is disappointing.


>>> and you say I have no
>>>connection to DC?


Ever heard of Demographics?  There are few similarities between life
in the District, and life in Virginia.  The difference is very large. 
The only connection you have to DC residency is your desperate attempt
at association by touting the "DC Metropolitan area" thing.


>>>Yeah, right.  We're a siamese frinking
>>>family, slack-boy, you, Maryland and Virginia.  We can't       
>>>get rid of you, since no one outside of this area has
>>>even *heard* of Alexandria, they think Silver Spring is
>>>in Florida, and think Arlington is just a cemetary.

Not our fault you guys cannot create an identity for yourself. 
Piggybacking on the popularity/notoriety of another jurisdiction is
pretty pathetic.  Who did you call a loser?

>>>no one from VA works in DC, no one from VA ever goes to any
>restaurants, museums, no one from >>VA visits relatives there, etc.
>
>So who doesn't travel?  Everywhere I have been, eaten, worked, and
>visited relatives - I am now a citizen and resident of?  Why do we
>even bother to have this regional newsgroups then.  We are all one.
>You are right, let's hold hands and sing in harmony neighbor.

>>>Bite me, asswipe (sorry that was a cheap insult to
>>>toilet paper).)                                           

The toilet paper forgives you.  When we run out of real arguements, we
often hurt that which we love the most.  Toilet paper.

Thanks for the compliment though, I was under the impression that you
didn't like me.

Tell me though, am I more of a High-Quality Charmin, a medium Quilted
Northern, or just a cheap store brand?

>>>Who the f*ck says I can't recommend places that I've
>>>visited to other visitors?

Nobody, but anyone the f*ck can point out that you have never lived
there, and anyone the f*ck can voice opposition to your invitation. 
It is all part of the free speech thing that you go on to demand below
for yourself.


>>>        I've been to Augsburg Germany, I don't live there, but it's
>>>        a very nice, historic place that dates back to Roman times.
>>>        I can damn well recommend that city for visitors, you
frinking
>>>        hemmoroid.

An asswipe (toilet paper), and a hemmoroid?  I was not aware that it
was possible to be both.  I thought one irritated the other, or vice
versa.  Now it is I with the identity crisis.

>>>You are the only one claiming that you have to be a
>>>citizen of a place in order to say to visitors to see
>>>that place.

"Come and visit DC" implies that you live here. You don't.  Perhaps
"Go and visit" DC is what you meant, but few who actually live are
fans of tourists, so you are not the best person to extend an
invitation.  That is my opinion.


>>>You have no right to say that I have no right to recommend
>>>DC to visitors. 

That's interesting.  You have a right to say anything you wish, but I
have no right to say that you have no right to do anything.

I don't blame you.  That is the standard "free speech" position of
media-brainwashed suburban sheep.

I don't know if it is more sad, or more humorous to watch you
contradict yourself in the same paragraph, but I will go with
humorous.


>>>And, in case you haven't noticed, it's
>>>called the "DC metropolitan area"

That is a phrase used around the country for the benfefit of
suburbanites who are unable to cultivate an identity of their own, and
must ride on the back of the nearest urban center.

>>> not the "Alexandria
>>>metropolitan area."  When I tell people where I live,      
>>> if I say "Alexandria" I have to tell them "It's across
>>>the river from DC."

Must be frustrating to tell people where you live, and have them not
have a clue as to where you are talking about.  Must make you feel
pretty pathetic, and irrelevant.  

Thankfully you got that "Metro Area" thing to fall back on.


>
>>Binky?  Well, I have never been so insulted in all of my life!

>>>Obviously you haven't lived long enough.

Depends on how you define "long enough".

That is, however, out of my control.

>
>>>I have more right to invite them to visit DC than you have to tell
>me not to!
>
>Do you really believe this?


>>>Yep, I do believe it.  You have no right to tell me      

You believe that you have MORE right?

Well, yes, you are a suburban brainwashed media sheep.  You probably
do think that you have MORE right.


>>>what to say or not to say.  Period.  I have the complete
>>>right to say to someone "Come visit DC!"

Absolutely, and I have the complete right to say that you should't say
that because you don't live here.

>>>and I will say
>>>it as many times to as many people as I want, and you have
>>>no right to tell me not to. Period.

I do have a right to tell you not to, and I will as often as I want.
Period, comma, semicolon, exclamation point, asterisk, question mark,
and ampersand.

>
>DC gets a Federal Payment of $660 million per year.
>
>That means, on average, every US taxpayer contributes between $3.00
>$4.00 annually via Federal Income tax to the District of Columbia.
>The average DC resident pays about $3,500.00 to the District annually
>in Income tax.  We also make annual payments to Virginia, Maryland,
>and every other state in the US via Federal Income tax withholdings.
>
>What algorithm have you devised which leads you to believe that you
>have somehow earned a larger "right" in DC than a District resident? 



>>>I have the complete right to free speach.

Sure, ff you can take the negative press, political persecution, and
the IRS audit, you suburban brainwashed media goy.


>>>Just because you live in DC doesn't mean you can tell me what to
>>>say or not say.

Absolutely right, I could tell you what to say or not to say even if I
lived in Chicago.

Whether you have to do what I tell you to do is another issue
altogether, but I can certainly TELL you.


>>>I don't care how much money you pay, to
>>>whom, it doesn't give you the right to tell me not to
>>>invite people to visit DC.

True, I was born with that right, I didn't have to pay anyone.

>>>Oh, and by the way, since you pay taxes in VA, where's
>>>my check for your part of my $700 property tax?

And since a tiny slice of your Federal Taxes goes toward the DC
Federal Payment, and you pay sales tax when you come here to shake
your groove thang, where is my check for your part of my $1,500
property tax?

I will cut you a check when I receive your payment.

>
>>>Here's a clue: it's the Capitol of the United States.
>
>The Capitol building is your symbolic capital.  "Capitals" of  

>>>You spend and raise "capital."  That is,if you had enough
>>>"off your ass" to work on DC instead of bitching and moaning
>>>about how the rest of the country isn't bailing you out
>>>of your self-created sinkhole fast enough.

Well, the per-capita income of DC is still higher than that of
Virginia, so this "self-created" sinkhole (which has always been
overseen by your congress) is still a little ahead of you in that
area.

Question, why are you urging people to visit a sinkhole? That is not
very nice of you.


>countries are symbolic at best.  If you wish to come onto my, or my
>neighbor's property claiming that it is your capital, I wish you all
>the best of luck and health.

>>>Oh, so now you own the District? 

No, just the portion that I own by lease for the next 70 years or so.

>>>Wow, how much did you
>>>have to pay to buy the Air and Space Museum?

I would need more information to tell you that.  I would have to
divide the cost of the museum by the amount of taxes that I paid to
buid and maintain it, divide by the amount of taxpayers, etc.


>>>Bet it
>>>took all of that $3500, didn't it?

Now you have just lost me.

Oh, what the hell - YES, it took all of my $3500!

>>>And I bet building
>>>the Washington Monument was a bitch, all by yourself.

No, we hired slaves from Virginia to help build it.

What a bargain!

>>>Or did you just buy it from Century 21?          

Century 21 is a more recent Real Estate company, and did not exist
while we were building the Monument.  This is unfortunate, because we
could probably have gotten a better deal had we waited.

What does a large concrete phallic structure honoring dead slave
owners go for these days?

>>>I am a citizen of the United States.
>
>I am a pseudo-citizen.  I have no votes in Congress, but pay full
>Federal Taxes.  You figure that one out Mr. "I'm proud to be a
citizen
>of the best democracy in the world".

>>>You don't need votes in Congress to be a citizen,

Right, that is only in democracies.

>>>doink,

Boing.

>>>all you have to do is be born here.  OR are you claiming
>>>you weren't born on U.S. soil, because you live in DC?

I was born in a hospital.  Soil births are unsanitary.


>>>I have been in to DC many more times than you've been to Katmandu.
>
>Can you say that for a fact?  It may not be true.

>>>Why,I thought you were the urban commando, who spends all
>>>of his time dodging the brutal criminals on the "mean
>>>streets" of DC?  When would you have time to go globe-
>>>hopping?

Everybody needs a break now and then.

>
>Have you ever lived in DC?  Have you been to DC more times than I
>have?  Have you lived in DC  for 22 years, or have you lives
somewhere
>outside of DC for a certain period of time while pretending to be a
>local by hanging out in the local bars, and telling people you are
>from "DC", when you are from no such place?

>>>What does any of that have to do with what I said? For that
>>>matter, who the hell are you to think that you can tell me
>>>what to say?  If you think people ahve heard of Alexandria
>>>VA and haven't heard of Washington DC, you need to get out
>>>more often. 

That is your claim, not mine.  I know of few people who have not heard
of Alexandria, VA.  Even without chanting the "DC Metro area" mantra.

>>>Why do you think there's some kind of magic in
>>>your living within a particular invisible border that gives 
>>>you any right to tell me what to say or not say?

Magic and borders have nothing to do with my right to say anything,
although they do help.

>I am a binky, are you a poser?
>
>>>I have more than a small amount of pride in at least the Federal
>parts of DC.
>
>What a sucker.

>>>Better than being a git.

Depends on your point of view.


>
>>>I will for damn sure tell anyone I care to about DC,
>
>That does seem to be the specialty of suburbanites.           


>>>And Iowans, and Kansans, and Floridians, and everyone
>>>else who's ever visited DC.

No, it's just pretty much suburbanites from Virginia and Maryland who
repeatedly pose to be experts on the District, and of District life.

>>>And all of us insist on
>>>saying things you don't like, boo hoo hoo. 

Don't cry, together, we can overcome this.


>>>Why, we
>>>"non-citizens" actually dare to say that the Smithsonian
>>>museums are great places to spend money,

Last time I checked, the Smithsonian was free, and the shops and
resturants that it contains are free from all DC taxes.

Dare say what you want, but I think you are off on this one. 

>>>that restaurants
>>>in DC are great places to spend those nasty tourist dollars.

Many tourist areas in DC are completely local-tax free.

What is left over does not compensate most of us for their goober-esq
annoyance.

You like em?  Invite them to Alexandria.  Don't make us march them
across the bridge.

>>>Of course, you hate that kind of thing, I know, but
>>>you'll just have to live with it, poor ducky.

We all have our crosses to bear, wealthy albatross.

>
>>>and I will for damn sure recommend coming to visit, regardless
>>>of anything you or any other snot-assed self-obsessed git
>>>has to say to me.  "you have no right" indeed!
>
>He says from his suburban home because he is scared shitless to


>actually live in the city he claims to live in.

>>>Ooooohh, you big brave man, I'm soooo impressed by your
>>>bravery, I'll definitely stop going into DC, because
>>>it's sooooo scary!

>>>Loser.

Claiming to be from a city I have never lived in?  Hmmm.

We all have our different definitions of loser I guess.  Not saying
that I am NOT a loser, but it just sounds funny coming from you.


>We are all impressed by your testosterone-laced chest beating.  Why,
I
>am downright intimidated to the point of urinating on myself.

>>>Well, it would be a break from masturbation, I'm sure.

Not really, I am one of the few people who have managed to perfect
simultaneous typing and masturbation.  I am quite dexterious.

It is the influx of your suburban hip chicks that have cut down on my
necessity for masturbation.

>We all know how vicious you suburban boys are as you cruise through  
  


>town with your doors locked, and a foot always on the gas in case
some
>local decides to take you to task for your cowardly middle finger
>thrust in anger as you realize that residents do not feel that they
>owe you clear, convenient and speedy passage through their
>neighborhood.


>>>Yeah, we all know how vicious you DC city boys are, you're
>>>so violent and bloodthirsty.  That's why you huddle in
>>>your basement, around the comforting glow of your cathode
>>>ray tube, masturbating to your rants on these groups.

Cathode Ray Tube?

You need a new monitor.


>
>Would you come to my neighborhood and start calling people snot
assed?

>>>Sure, I'll come to Georgetown or whatever upscale neighborhood you
live in.

Being that I do not live in Georgetown, or in an even remotely upscale
neighborhood, I will take that as a 'no'.

>
>I doubt it, but don't let me run your suburban, pussy-boy, fantasy.
>
>
>>>Here's another clue:  No one but you thinks that you are
>>>in charge of anything larger than your own mouth and ego.
>
>Well, when you suburban boys bring your little suburban girlfriends
to
>DC to show off your cosmopolitan savvy, and they end up leaving with
>me, they apparently disagree.  Actually, I love for you guys to come
>here and party.  Without your little suburban poser chicks, I
wouldn't
>get laid half as often as I do now.  Unfortunately for you, It seems
>that they know the real thing from the want-to-be's.        

>>>Masturbating to your own Usenet posts doesn't count, loser.

But your just so damn sexy when you're angry.


>>>I will say what I want about DC, or anything or anyone
>>>else I choose too, and there's not a damn thing you
>>>can do to stop me!
>
>Well, duh.  You are sitting behind a computer suburban pussy-boy,
>there is little anyone can do, and there aren't many people who want
>to silence you.  I don't.  Your hysteria is far too much fun.

>>>        You want to tell me not to recommend visitors come to
>>>        "your" city and see the sights.  You want to shut me
>>>        up, when you don't even have enough self-control to
>>>        keep from dribbling on your keyboard as you post.       

Thankfully, keyboard dribble-guards are cheap.

>>>Your pretentious, impotent self-importance isn't funny, it's sad.

Hey, you have NO RIGHT to say that to me.


>
>Actually,  I am sure that if someone invested alot of time and
effort,
>they could do whatever they wanted to do to shut you up, but why
would
>they do that?  Speak freely, as will I - and when I think you are
full
>of poser shit, I will point it out.

>>>So, we're supposed to believe that you're some kind of
>>>Uebermensch net-god just because you live in Georgetown?

You suburban guys are fixated on Georgetown aren't you?  I can't blame
you that since that is the only point of view your little coward poser
asses have of DC.

That is why there is such a large police presence there every night,
to protect your little suburban pussy asses from harm, and to see that
you "Washingtonians" get back across the bridge all safe and sound.

The overwhelming vast majority actual non-student residents of DC
don't live in Georgetown.  I know this comes as a shock to you.

Your repeated mention of this single neighborhood in which I have
never even lived near is one of your more desperate attempts at
credibility.  You have revealed just how much of a suburban want-to-be
you are, by acknowledging your true perspective.

>>>Yeah, right.  Talk about posers.

I was.

>
>You, on the other hand, can continue to call me binky, and claim to  
  

>have "earned a right to DC", you street-smart, urban tough,
>cosmopolitan Washingtonian you.

>>>Oh, don't try to use sarcasm, you don't have the neurons, slack
jaw.

Well, you got me there.  No defending that one.

>
>>>Dry up, blow away, and oh, yeah, bite me.
>
>I think we all expected better than that from you.

>>>I was just using words you could grasp easily, you know
>>>words that only a "street-smart, tough DC uebercriminal"
>>>like yourself could understand.

Oh, thanks.


>>>Cap.                                           

~~~
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Date: Fri Oct 31 17:05:58 1997 GMT
From: method@nym.alias.net

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