🚀 go-pugleaf

On Sat, 28 Dec 1996 01:30:42 -0500, Charles J Millman
<gedalia@concentric.net> wrote:

>I don't think it's honest to act like physical appearance is not
>important b/c one's own appearance may be lacking in some aspect.  I
>believe that women place less emphasis on superficial appearance than
>men -- but certainly more emphasis than they once did (or at least are
>more open about it). I'm not very detached or objective about this
>subject  myself, being congenitally short (but meeting the 5'7" minimum
>standard above! hah) and intermittently (and currently) fat.  I often
>feel women reject me out of hand b/c of my appearance and feel resentful
>and critical of those women who would so reject me for such superficial
>qualities when, if they only got to know me better, could detect more
>enduring personality flaws about myself for which they could reject me.

 I know what you are saying. It does sometimes seem unfair but as a
teacher of mine years ago would say "Life is never fair." I'm a short
guy (5' 6") and I never really even thought about height being an
issue until reading a few of the NG's. The bottom line is if you can't
change something about yourself then you just have to live with it.
You can do it one of two ways...either find people that will accept
you as you are or sit around doing the "why me" thing and pass all
those people by. Look around and you'll see that the vast majority of
people have some physical flaw that they'd like to change but can't.
So what? There are a number of things that other people have to put up
with that I don't. Some of them might gladly switch their flaws for
mine. The whole thing is really pretty strange. You have men worrying
about height and women worrying about breast size, etc. These are
things that matter only to SOME people. Sure, it's painful when you
realize that the one you want to be with is one of those people but
all you can do is start plowing through the billions of people out
there to find a better match. Physical attributes are where people
start but once you've made that connection, do you really want someone
that would drop you if one of the qualities on her/his must-have list
starts to go with age? I sure don't! 

                                          Pete