🚀 go-pugleaf

Inger Marie Jakobsen wrote:
> 
> Er der nogen der ved hvor jeg kan finde en humoristisk liste over de
> forskellige religioner og sekter sammen med deres mottoer (der alle er
> variationer over 'shit happens') ?
> 
> Jeg ved at listen i forkortet form kan findes p� T-shirts, men jeg har
> ogs� f�r set den i en meget l�ngere udgave.

V�rs�god!


                                 SHIT HAPPENS

                         in various world religions
                        ----------------------------


Taoism:         Shit happens.
                If you can shit, it isn't shit.
                Shit happens, so flow with it.

Hare Krishna:   Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
                She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
                 she-it, she-it...  (Repeat until you become one with
she-it)
                Please this flower and buy our shit.

Confucianism:   Confucious say, "Shit happens".
                Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen
                 PROPERLY."

Buddhism:       If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
                If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
                Shit will happen again to you next time.

Zen:            What is the sound of shit happening?

7th Day Adventism:
                Shit happens on Saturdays.

Hinduism:       I've seen this shit before.
                This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
                This shit happening IS you.

Protestantism:  If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
                If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

Calvinism:      Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

Episcopalianism:
                If shit happens, hold a procession.

Lutheranism:    Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

Anglicanism:    It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

Catholicism:    If shit happens, you deserved it.
                You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

Charismatic Catholicism:
                Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love
you
                 anyway.

Judaism:        Why does shit always happen to US?
                Why does shit always happen just before closing the
deal?

Reform Judaism: Got any laxatives?

Islam:          If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
                If shit happens, take a hostage.
                We don't take any shit.

Nation of Islam:
                Don't take no shit!

New Age:        That's not shit, it's feldspar.
                A firm shit does not happen to me.
                This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
                I create my own shit.
                If shit happens, honor it and share it.
                Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
                Were all part of the same shit.
                For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner
shit.

Wicca:          If shit happened once, it will happen twice more.
                The Goddess makes shit happen.

Jehovah's Witnesses:
                No shit happens until Armaggedon.
                There is only a limited amount of good shit.
                Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."
                Here, we insist you take our shit.
                Shit happens door to door.

Secular Humanism:
                Shit evolves.

Darwinism:      Survival of the shittiest.

Christian Science:
                When shit happens, don't call a doctor--pray.
                Shit doesn't happen and I am not up to my eyeballs in
it.
                Our shit will take care of itself.
                Shit in in your mind.

Atheism:        I don't believe this shit.
                It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm
going
                 to taste it.
                Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.
                No shit!


Religion from an Atheist's point of view:
                I haven't smelt, seen, touched, or tasted it. But it's
                 shit.

Agnosticism:    It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it,
so
                 I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
                What is this shit?!
                How can we KNOW if shit happens?
                You can't prove any of this shit

Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
                Hey, this is good shit, mon.

Mormonism:      If shit happens, shun it.
                Excrement happens (you can't say shit in Utah)
                Hey, there's more shit over here!
                Our shit is better than your shit.
                Shit happens again & again & again ...

Energizer Bunny:
                Shit happens and keeps going and going and going and...

Baptist:        You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for
it.
                We'll wash the shit right off you.

Southern Baptist:
                Shit will happen.  Praise the lord.

Iraqi Baathist: Oh shit!

Voodoo:         Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
                Let's stick some pins in this shit!
                This shit's gonna get you

Televangelism:  Your tax-deductible donation could make this shit stop
                 happening.

Unitarianism:   What is this Shit?
                We affirm the right for shit to happen.
                Go ahead, shit anywhere you want.
                It's not the shit that matters.  It's the process.

Orthodox:       St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

Greek Orthodox: Shit happens, usually in three's.

EST:            I am at cause that shit will not happen.
                You're responsible for all the shit that happens.

Fundamentalism: There's no shit in the Bible.
                Shit happens, but don't publish it.

Twelve Step:    Shit happens one day at a time.

Amish:          Shit is good for the soil.
                This modern shit is worthless.

Shintoism:      You inherit the shit of your ancestors.

Moonies:        Only happy shit really happens.

Stoicism:       This shit is good for me.

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

Bahaism:        Why do you keep shitting on us?

Mysticism:      This is really weird shit.

Paganism:       Shit happens for a variety of reasons.

Rajhneesh:      Give us your shit and put on this orange shit.

Rosicrucianism: What is this AMORC shit?

Satanism:       We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
                We will make your shit happen.

Witchcraft:     Mix this shit together and it will happen

Scientology:    All this happens to be shit.
                If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

Shamanism:      Whoaa...Holy Shit!

Sikhism:        Leave our shit alone

Sureshism:      You are all pieces of shit.

Dianetics:      "Why does shit happen?" (p. 157)

===============================================================================

                                 SHIT HAPPENS

                            in other various ways
                           -----------------------


Yuppie Shit:    It's my shit!  All mine!  Isn't it beautiful?

An Employer:    Shit happens, and rolls down hill.

An Employee:    I've done my shit, so can I take the day off?
                This shit's not part of my contract.

Environmentalism:
                Shit is biodegradable.

Heisenb

-- 
Best regards,

Tommy Holm Hansen
thh@hdc.hha.dk

@Taking life as it comes, going on, getting paid and I don't ask why@