🚀 go-pugleaf

Thank you. at least someone hates those arseholes as much as I do

Michael Walker wrote:

>  >I remember when i used to be able to actually get jokes in the joke
>  >newsgroups. Now all i can find is a buch of people who can't just forget
>  >bad jokes and move on, you all have to give an extensive commentary on
>  >them, thereby flooding the newsgroups with "RE:" messages. Give it a
>  >break, NOBODY GIVES A SHIT!!! get a life. If you must post a reply then
>  >please include a joke in it!!!, but not the one your replying to!!! I've
>  >heard half these jokes a thousand times. Lets quit the reposting.
>  >
>
> >SORRY, HERE IS THE JOKE I MEANT TO PUT IN THAT POST:
> >
> >Two old guys at an old folk's home shooting the breeze. One says "How's the
> >memory?" The other says "Perfect, touch wood",
> >and raps his knuckles on the table. 2 minutes go bye, and then he says
> >"Somebody gonna get the door or what?"
> >
>
> Actually, even worse is the spam for joke lists that don't include samples -
> I'm not looking up any joke list that is too stingy to include a joke. Also
> extremely annoying are the posts that repost a joke and add the word 'test'
> to the bottom. Ditto those that just have the 'test' in the body. If you
> must test your news postings - post your own joke you lazy schmucks, besides
> if you click on send (or post for OE), it should send it and it should work.
> You'll soon know the first time you send a GENUINE post.
>
> P.S. How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
>
> Six, one to hold the light bulb and 5 to drink enough alcohol to make the
> room spin around.

 Why I Fired My Secretary

I woke up early feeling depressed because it was my birthday, and I thought,
"I'm another year older" but decided not to dwell
on it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast my wife
would greet me with a big kiss and say,
"Happy birthday, dear."

All smiles, I went into breakfast, and there sat my wife reading the newspaper
as usual. She didn't say one word. So I got
myself a cup of coffee and thought, "Oh well, she forgot. The kids will be down
in a few minutes they will sing Happy Birthday'
and have a nice gift for me."

There I sat, enjoying my coffee, and I waited. Finally the kids came running
into the kitchen yelling, "Give me a slice of toast."
"I'm late." "Where is my coat?" "I'm going to miss the bus." Feeling more
depressed than ever, I left for office.

When I walked in, my secretary greeted me with a great big smile and a cheerful,
"Happy birthday, boss." She then asked if she
could get me some coffee. Her remembering my birthday made me feel a whole lot
better.

Later in the morning, my secretary knocked on my office door and said "Since
it's your birthday, why don't we have lunch
together?' Thinking it would make me feel better, I said, "That's a good idea."

So we locked up the office, and because it was my birthday, I said, "Why don't
we drive out of town and have lunch in the
country, instead of going to the usual place?" So we drove out of town and went
to a little out-of-the-way inn and had a couple
of martinis and a nice lunch. We started driving back to town when my secretary
said, "why don't we go by my place, and I will
fix you another martini?" It sounded like a good idea, because we didn't have
much to do in the office. So we went to her
apartment, and she fixed some martinis.

After a while, she said, "If you will excuse me, I think I will slip into
something more comfortable," and she left the room. In a
few minutes, she opened her bedroom door and came out carrying a big birthday
cake. Following her were my wife and all my
kids. And there I sat with nothing on but my socks.