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1 total messages Started by Mike Sun, 24 Oct 1999 00:00
Jokes jokes jokes ...
#60
Author: Mike
Date: Sun, 24 Oct 1999 00:00
118 lines
4915 bytes
____________________________________________________________________
For jokes like these (and worse) in your e-mail box 2 or 3 times
a week, checkout:
http://www.youmustbejoking.co.uk
____________________________________________________________________

-1-
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three 
Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first biker approached
the old man, threw his cigarette into the old man's pie,
and then took a seat at the counter.

Then, a second biker walked over to the old man, spit into 
his glass of milk, and then took a seat at the counter. 

Finally, a third biker verbally attacked the old man,
knocked his plate of food into his lap, and then took a 
seat at the counter. 

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the 
diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers commented to
the waitress, "Not much of a man, is he?" 

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. 
He just backed his truck over three motorcycles." 

____________________________________________________________________
For jokes like these (and worse) in your e-mail box 2 or 3 times
a week, checkout:
http://www.youmustbejoking.co.uk
____________________________________________________________________

-2-
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of
the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need 
you to
blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If
I
do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood
sample."

"I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed
to
death."

"Well, then, we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If
I
do that, I'll get really low blood sugar."

"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white 
line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too drunk to walk. "

____________________________________________________________________
For jokes like these (and worse) in your e-mail box 2 or 3 times
a week, checkout:
http://www.youmustbejoking.co.uk
____________________________________________________________________

-3-
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other's a fish.

Q: Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of 
lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't 
met.

Q: Why does California have so many lawyers and New Jersey 
have so many toxic waste dumps?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.

____________________________________________________________________
For jokes like these (and worse) in your e-mail box 2 or 3 times
a week, checkout:
http://www.youmustbejoking.co.uk
____________________________________________________________________

-And finally... (with apologies) -
This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket for 5 
years.

One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines, and the 
bag boy is real excited and asks the manager if he can work the 
juice machines.

The manager says no.

The bag boy goes, "But I've been working here for 5 years, why 
can't I run the juice machines?"

The manager goes, "I'm sorry, but . . . baggers can't be juicers."

____________________________________________________________________
For jokes like these (and worse) in your e-mail box 2 or 3 times
a week, checkout:
http://www.youmustbejoking.co.uk
____________________________________________________________________
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