🚀 go-pugleaf

One sunny day at school, little Lucy and her fellow classmates  were
having a lesson about stories with morals. "Now then" said  their
teacher very teacherly, "does anyone have a story with a  moral they
want to tell the rest of the class?" 
Little Lucy stuck her hand in the air. 

"Go on then Lucy. Tell us your story." 
"Alright. Once upon a time there was a little girl who had to take
some eggs to her grandmother. She put them all in a basket, but  on
the way there, she dropped the basket, and the eggs smashed  all over
the ground" 
"And what is the moral of this story?" 
"Never carry all of your eggs in one basket" 
"Very good, Lucy. Does anyone else want to say their story?" 

Little Lucy put up her hand again.
"Go on then Lucy", said the teacher tell us your story."
"Once upon a time a little girl had a small tear in her dress which
would have needed a single stitch to repair. But the little girls
mummy didn't repair it right away, but left it for a few days. When
she got round to repairing it, it need ten stitches."
"And the moral of this story is?"
"A stitch in time saves nine."

"Very good, Lucy. Now who else has a story?"
Little Jonny put up a nervous hand. 
"Go on then Jonathon" 

"Okay. My Grandad was in the Royal Air Force in world War II. He  was
flying his fighter plane over enemy territory when he got shot in  the
wing. He managed to grab a parachute, a tommy gun, a knife  and a
six-pack of beer before he had to eject. He parachuted down,  and on
the way down, he drank all the beer. He landed in the  middle of a
group of baddy soldiers. So he got out his tommy gun  and
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG shot half of then and then got  out his knife and
CHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOP killed the rest of  them." 

"Errm," errmed the teacher, "that's a very, <ahem>, nice story,
Jonathon. Does it have a moral?" 

"Yeah," grinned Jonny, "Don't mess with Grandad when he's been
drinking". 

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