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eye WEEKLY                                            November 30 1995
Toronto's arts newspaper                      .....free every Thursday
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MEDIA HIT PARADE                                      MEDIA HIT PARADE

                            ALL THAT FITS

                                  by
                              GREG BOYD

* THE CALL GUY: Celebrated Ryerson journalism teacher Gerald Hannon 
tightens his grip on the headlines by telling Toronto Sun reporter 
Thane Burnett that he moonlights as a prostitute. It's the last straw 
for Rye High administrators, who suspend Hannon. He's banned from 
campus and told to have no contact with students in his freelance 
writing course while the university investigates whether his conduct 
is unbefitting his status as a teacher -- as if anyone knows more 
about freelancing than a whore.

* Stop me if you've heard this one: Last week Prime Minister Jean 
Chretien told the Commons that he was in no hurry to make a new 
constitutional deal for Quebec. Days later Quebec Liberal leader 
Daniel Johnson made a widely-reported declaration of Quebec's (and his 
political career's) desperate straits and begged for a new deal. The 
next day Chretien cobbled together a new proposal that bears a grisly 
resemblance to a freshly disinterred Meech Lake working paper.

* BEATLE BOOTS: A play about John Lennon's killer, Mark Chapman, is 
staged in a London theatre that holds about 75 people. It draws 
venomous international coverage based on such sources as a 
spokesperson for ex-Beatle Paul McCartney, who declares it "the 
sickest thing I have ever heard." Apparently this fringe theatre 
production is more gruesome than the spectacle of the three living 
Beatles reuniting in post-mortem congress with their dead bandmate on 
a record that has already been bought by more people than the play 
could seat in 100 years. On a more upbeat note, the republics of 
Azerbezian and Mali have finally honored the fabbest of the four with 
a special issue of John Lennon stamps.

* SONG AND DANCE: Reporters and the public were barred from the House 
of Commons last week to let MPs sing "O Canada." Following Reformer 
Deborah Grey's motion that the House join in a merry chorus of the 
national anthem once a week, the three major parties agreed to try it 
out, so long as the public were kept away -- it's unclear whether this 
was to conceal the behavior of traitorous Bloc Quebecois MPs or to 
keep reporters from poking fun at Honorable Members who muck up the 
words. The anthem was sung behind locked doors just before Question 
Period; after a nice glass of milk and a short nap, the MPs were all 
ready to start running the country.

* CONSPIRACY OF LOUDNESS: After Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin's 
assassination, police officials began sketching the details of a vast 
conspiracy of hardliners. A week of prominent investigative reports on 
the ugly face of Jewish extremism followed. When the Israeli police 
minister announced days ago that only the assassin and his brother 
were involved, the story barely made the cut.

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