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"Rattlesnake Roundup," March 8, 1995, Sweetwater, Texas. 

Grass snakes can be dangerous. 
Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. A couple had a lot of potted
plants, and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of
them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. A little green
snake was hidden in one of them and when it was sufficiently warmed up,
it came slithering out and went under the sofa. The wife saw it and let
out a big scream. The husband was taking a shower but, when he heard his
wife scream, ran to see what the problem was. 
She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor
to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him.
He thought the snake had bitten him, so he fainted. His wife thought he
had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in
and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that
time the snake came out from the sofa. 
The EMS saw it and dropped the stretcher. That's when the man broke his
leg and why he is in the hospital. 
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake, so he armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone. 
The wife sat down on the sofa in relief. But as her hand dangled in
between the cushions, she felt the snake. She screamed and fainted, the
snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man tried to use his
long forgotten CPR skills. 
The neighbor's wife, who had been at the grocery store, saw her
husband's mouth on the woman's and slammed her husband in the back of
the head with a bag of canned goods, an injury calling for
hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint. She saw
her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen,
brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the
man's throat. 
By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the
whiskey and listened as the two women tried to explain how it all
happened over a little green snake. 
They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing
wife. 
That put the woman and the snake right back in worse shape than they
were in when the whole thing started. 
The snake was badly unnerved, 
As was the woman.


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