🚀 go-pugleaf

After years of research, I have discovered that GNU is not an idealistic
group of people promoting free software, but actually a conspiracy of
disk drive and memory manufacturers. These bastions of free enterprise,
always eager to supplement their sales of bigger and faster hard disks;
as well as more and more memory, needed a good reason for this.

People weren't buying disks fast enough for them, they said. So, back in
1978, they hatched a plan to create an excuse for deprived computer
weenies to spend money on disks and memory. They saw the work being done
at Duke and North Carolina, and they hatched a plan to cash in on this.
By brainwashing a UC-Berkeley graduate student and a high school
student, the concept of Usenet was put into position. These two became
the first unwitting pawns in a game of market oversatuation.

Usenet became very popular, and soon thereafter, every site reading news
started requiring more and more disks to store messages, and more and
more memory to batch and unbatch all news. The manufacturers celebrated
with glee, especially since the recession of the early 80's marked the
demise of many companies who were too ethical to sign up for the
conspiracy.

The manufacturers were happy, riding a wave of euphoria. But they knew
they had better keep moving ahead to make sure that the the market never
slacked. The next step was to find a tangental reason, completely
unrelated to the first, that would help boost sales. Then the concept
arose: a man so blinded by ideology that all attempts to rationalize
would be fruitless, but also someone who could believably create a beast
that was so large, so unwieldly, and so space-consuming, that it would
be declared useful by sheer size. There had to be more than that; to
keep it large, it bundled existing pieces back into itself, and there
existed a constant flow of releases to the extent that keeping up would
be a constant consumption. Stallman was invented. He clicked off
perfectly, galvinizing people with his political diatribe, as well as
enough code to convince anyone he was for real. It was believed, and
EMACS rolled into GNU, becoming the spirit-of-the-age political
computing disk consumer. It has worked well.

This made the conspirators even more and more bold. Sales were booming,
and their swagger suggested they could not be stopped. And they
continued. Their next step was to branch out, stop thinking single
machine sites, and more on distributed computing sites. They needed a
system that would consume massive disk space, and be plausibly useful
enough to require massive addition to memory to run reasonable. It
needed to consume the disk space of GNU, but show a real increase of
memory for constant use.

Then the idea came: network window systems. Make the screens big, give
them 8 bit color, or 24 bit color, use lots of fancy words for overlays,
etc., make them feel a need for more memory. In desperation for a name,
they called it X. Then they called it X11, taking advantage, once again,
of the many-release idea of "updates," with a constant outporing of
software. This, the manufacturers think, will carry us into the 90's.

And it has.