🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <51mrds$6i5@nuacht.iol.ie>, brady@iol.ie (Pete Brady) wrote:
>
>windsor@connect.ab.ca wrote:
>
>>Take five minutes to read this and it WILL change your life.
>> 
>> I just read an article in an internet newsgroup describing how
>> to make $50,000.00 in only one month from a $5.00 investment.
>
>Aaaaarrrggghhhhhhh!

Try emailing this to the original stupid git:

Subject: MAKE MONEY FAST! [Well written satire! off. to DaveDelDotto]

Date: Mon, 16 Sep 1996 14:20:23 GMT
From: Dave Rhodes <w4crypto@ix.netcom.com> Subject: Re: Make Real Money 
Fast-Guaranteed!
[crossposted to alt.you.are.going.to.jail and to alt.clueless.dimwit] 
[followup set to alt.usenet.offline-reader.forte-agent]

Hi, I'm Dave Rhodes, and I'm in jail.
Just six months ago, I was in dire financial straits.  My car and
house had been repossessed, my phone was disconnected, my family had left 
me, I had creditors hounding me daily, and I was on the verge of 
bankruptcy.
Then, I hit upon one of the most amazing schemes for making quick
money that I had ever thought of.  I would start a pyramid scheme and make 
it sound legal with some details about creating and maintaining mailing 
lists.  It wasn't necessary to dream up anything too plausible, just enough 
to fool a significant portion of the population.  I made up a reasonable 
sounding flyer and used a friend's computer to post it to one of the 
computer bulletin boards. I took out five post office boxes in different 
cities and made up four other names so that the first five contribution
s all went to me.
To say the least, the response was overwhelming.  I was a
millionaire overnight.  You see, the way these things work, if everyone 
sends the letter to twenty other people, and those twenty each send the 
letter to twenty more, it doesn't take more than a few iterations before 
the recipient list includes everyone on the planet. Only the first ten or 
fifteen people ever see any money, and I was all of the first five!
The number of greedy people who use computers and don't
understand basic math exceeded my expectations by several orders of 
magnitude. My original note was posted on many computer bulletin boards, 
including something called the internet, and response was overwhelming.  
Some of them didn't even have the sense to put their own name on the list!
As the money poured in, I thought my problems were solved for life.
As it turns out, they were only beginning.  I found out that the same 
geometric progression that made me rich had one major drawback.
Since literally millions of people would see my message, the chances of 
someone reporting it to the police was a virtual certainty.  As word got 
around via the same computer bulletin boards that carried my original 
message, more and more people complained to the authorities.
Soon, I was arrested and charged with fraud.  My money was
confiscated under the federal racketeering laws, so I could not even afford 
an attorney.  Many of the first people to take advantage of my scheme were 
also arrested.
Still, my original message continued to propagate throughout
computer bulletin boards everywhere.  A substantial number of copies got 
sent through regular mail, which caused more and more federal charges to be 
applied to me and those early participants.  In my own way, I have become 
quite a celebrity.
These days, I no longer have creditors bothering me, I don't have
to worry about housing or basic necessities, I'm entertained, and I have a 
good friend Bruno who takes care of me.  I have everything I really need, 
and although Bruno hurts me sometimes, I'm mostly satisfied with my life.
During her last visit, my court appointed attorney said that
practically every day someone new was arrested for trying to participate in 
my scheme, even long after my own arrest was publicized.  In this way, my 
original opinion, that there are enough morons in the world to make 
yourself fabulously rich, is confirmed again and again.
So, with this in mind, Bruno and I have started a small enterprise
here in prison that you should know about.  It requires only a minor 
expenditure on your part and can make you wealthy beyond your wildest 
dreams.
Please follow these instructions exac@#~s8
-`15ht@#&fge

NO CARRIER

.
------ End of Forwarded Message ------



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