🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <1993Feb9.154509.5698@ncar.ucar.edu>, shan@niwot.scd.ucar.edu (Val Shanahan) writes:
>
>I hope you don't mind that I am replying to your post without actually
>answering your questions, but you have touched on a subject that really
>gets to me.  For the record, I am a married woman, separated for over
>6 years, and the following is strictly my opinion and I realize that
>there are exceptions to every rule.
>
>To begin with, I don't think ANY body ought to get married until they
>have proven to themselves that they are capable of taking care of themselves.
>This means totally supporting themselves in a dwelling of their own, rented
>or otherwise, after all, divorce is not the only way a person may find
>themselves unexpectedly alone.  Going on this premise, I see no reason
>for support or alimony and have no respect for a person who tries to soak
>an ex financially just because they are bitter or have a bruised ego.
>Please remember that I have already acknowledged that there are exceptions,
>as in a spouse becoming disabled and being left on their own when the healthy
>so discovers that they can't handle it. (Just an example).  Child support
>is most certainly a responsibility that no parent should try to get out of
>and does not fall under MY idea of being self-supporting, but even that
>can be done in such a way that the non-custodial parent can't possibly have
>a life beyond child support, that is wrong.  I DO live according to my
>feelings here, I have NEVER insisted that my husband give me ANYTHING, and
>I never will.  We have each bought a house since separating, independent of
>each other, and when we finally get around to divorcing, there will be NO
>battles of any kind, GUARENTEED.
>
>Sorry for rambling, but it seems that MOST people recieving alimony are
>women who could take care of themselves if they wanted to, it riles me
>that these women seem to make us all look bad or alike, it isn't so.
>
>Val
>


i agree completely but for one specific exception.  in marriages where the
wife stays home as a result of the decision of BOTH the husband and wife.
hey -- it's their life choice, even if it's not what i'd do and i think
it's short-sighted.
in that case, they've both inevitably affected her ability to support herself
in the job market, later on.  in such cases, i'd be all for the concept
of "alimony" for some limited period of time as applied toward getting 
her educated/trained and ready to compete on her own.  (i'm influenced
by my cousin's situation -- she worked as a waitress to put him through
medical school, then became a housewife at his insistence when he
graduated, and some years later he left her for someone younger.)
nonetheless, your point remains valid and i agree with it.  i'd never
ask for alimony if i were ever to divorce.

Karen
:   Karen Baldwin, Intergraph   ::  The Peter Murphy Principle:     :
:   kbaldwin@dazixco.ingr.com   ::  "Anyone who gets promoted       :
:   uunet!ingr!dazixco!kbaldwin ::   will go wrong."  - Scott Jonas :
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