🚀 go-pugleaf

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                 HOLY SHIT!
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    VATICAN CITY (Rueters) -- The
Vatican today announced that a
longtime American newspaperman
has been appointed editor-in-chief
of L'Osservatore Romano.
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    The newspaper, a weekly, is
the official mouthpiece of the
Vatican and has been punching
out Roman Catholic news since
July 1861.
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   However, the Collage of Cardinals
has finally come to its senses and
has admitted it was a rather boring
rag and had to be upgraded.
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    Ed Conrad, the new editor, said he
plans to add comics, a sports  page,
Hollywood gossip, a crossword puzzle,
ads for garage sales in Eastern Europe
and possibly a large color photo of the
Sexiest Woman of the Week on its
break page.
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Conrad also will write a column using
the nom de plume, Legally Insane.
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The current Pope, Benedict, was
not available for comment but one
former Pope -- Pope John XXIII, who
is in Heaven -- said during a seance
that it is "a small step for man but
a giant leap for mankind."
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Circulation of L'Osservatore Romano
is only around 12,000 which sort
of tells you the kind of boring paper
it had been for 150 years and why
the previous editor, Msgr. Giovanni
Maria Vian, finally got the boot.
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Conrad said next week's edition
will  include the Denver Broncos'
miraculous last-second victory
over the New England Patriots,
featuring a photo of Tim Tebow
humbly kneeling beneath the goal
post to give grateful thanks to the
Supreme Bean.
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Conrad is now working on his first
column which he plans to entitle
"Good God! Boy, You Certainly Can
Say THAT Again!"
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Here  is a rough draft, in case you're
not a subscriber.
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http://www.edconrad.org
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This is a recent FBI file photo of Ed Conrad.
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Dartboard.jpg
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Father Guido Sarducci, Puzzle Editor, reveals the  length of some
of the difficult words that will appear in the Vatican's new
Crossword.
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http://www.fathersarducci.com/images/sarduccioval.gif
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Out of a sense of fair play, the following will take their turn
writing a column about the incredible amount of physical
evidence backing up the theory of evolution. (All columns,
like the old telegrams of yesteryear, are expected to be
10 words or less.)
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American Association for the Advancement of Science
American Association of Physical Anthropology
Acoustical Society of America
American Anthropological Association
American Association of Colleges of Pharmacy
American Association of Cereal Chemists
American Association of Engineering Societies
American Association of Physics Teachers
American Association of University Professors
American Association of University Women
American Astronautical Society
American Astronomical Society
American Chemical Society
American College of Dentists
American Dental Association
American Economic Association
American Educational Research Association
American Ethnological Society
American Fisheries Society
American Geological Institute
American Geophysical Union
American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics
American Institute of Biological Sciences
American Institute of Chemical Engineers
American Institute of Chemists
American Mathematical Society
American Medical Association
American Meteorological Society
American Nuclear Society
American Oil Chemists' Society
American Physical Society
American Physiological Society
American Phytopathological Society
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
American Society for Cell Biology
American Society for Engineering Education
American Society for Horticultural Science
American Society for Information Science
ASM International
American Society for Microbiology
American Society for Pharmacology and Experimental Therapeutics
American Society for Quality Control
American Society of Aesthetics
American Society of Agricultural Engineers
American Society of Agronomy
American Society of Animal Science
American Society of Civil Engineers
American Society of Mechanical Engineers
American Society of Plant Physiologists
American Society of Zoologists
American Speech-Language-Hearing Association
American Statistical Association
American Vacuum Society
Association of American Geographers
Association of Research Libraries
Association of Southeastern Biologists
Association for Women in Science
Astronomical Society of the Pacific
Biophysical Society
Crop Science Society of America
Ecological Society of America
Entomological Society of America
FASEB (Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology)
Geological Society of America
History of Science Society
Industrial Research Institute
Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers, Inc.(IEEE)
Institute of Industrial Engineers
Institute of Navigation
Instrument Society of America
International Association for Impact Assessment
International Communication Association
International Society for Measurement and Control
International Society for Systems Sciences
Marine Technology Society
Mathematical Association of America
Medical Library Association, Inc.
Microscopy Society of America
National Association for Research in Science Teaching
National Association of Biology Teachers
National Council of Teachers of Mathematics
National Geographic Society
National Science Teachers Association
National Society of Black Engineers
National Society of Professional Engineers
National Speleological Society
Optical Society of America
Planetary Society
Rural Sociological Society
School Science and Mathematics Association
Sigma Delta Epsilon/Graduate Women in Science, Inc.
Sigma Xi, The Scientific Research Society
Society of American Foresters
Society for Applied Anthropology
Society for Economic Botany
Society for Industrial Microbiology
Society for Social Studies of Science
Society of Women Engineers
Soil Science Society of America
Speech Communication Association
Volunteers in Technical Assistance (VITA)
The Wildlife Conservation Society
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LIST OF ANTHROPOLOGY ASSOCIATIONS THAT
MAY HAVE BEEN SLANDERED BY ED CONRAD
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http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SaveTheWhale.jpg
<     (Obviously, this is NOT Tiger Woods)
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American Anthropological Association
American Association of Physical Anthropologists
American Board of Forensic Anthropology
American Society of Primatologists
American Academy of Forensic Sciences
The British Academy
Institute of Human Origins
The Leakey Foundation
Palaeoanthropology Society
University Departments (Brainwashing101)
Department of Anthropology, University of Arizona
School of Human Evolution & Social Change (formerly Department of
Anthropology) Arizona State University
Anthropology at Berkeley, University of California, Berkeley
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Los Angeles
Anthropology at UCSD, University of California, San Diego
Department of Anthropology, University of California, Santa Barbara)
Department of Anthropology, University of Chicago
Department of Anthropology, Columbia University
Department of Anthropology, Cornell University
Ph.D. Program in Anthropology, CUNY
Department of Biological Anthropology and Anatomy, Duke University
Department of Anthropology, University of Florida
Department of Anthropology, Harvard University
Anthropology @ UIUC, University of Illinois
Anthropology Department, Indiana University
Department of Anthropology, Johns Hopkins University
Department of Anthropology, University of Michigan
Department of Anthropology, New York University
Department of Anthropology, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill
Anthropology: at the University of Pennsylvania
Department of Anthropology, University of Pittsburgh
Department of Anthropology, Princeton University
Center for Human Evolutionary Studies (Rutgers University)
Department of Anthropological Sciences, Stanford Unversity
Department of Anthropology, University of Texas
Department of Anthropology, University of Virginia
Department of Anthropology, University of Washington
Department of Anthropology, University of Wisconsin, Madison
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Archaeological Institute of America
Association for Feminist Anthropology
Association of Black Anthropologists
Association of Latina and Latino Anthropologists
Human Biology Association
Paleoanthropology Society
Society for American Archaeology
Society for Historical Archaeology
Society for Archaeological Sciences
Society for Applied Anthropology
Society for Economic Anthropology
Society for Ethnomusicology
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UNITED STATES (REGIONAL)
Northeastern Anthropological Association
Eastern States Archaeological Federation
Council for Northeast Historical Archaeology
Archaeological Society of Connecticut
Maine Archaeological Society
Massachusetts Archaeological Society
New Hampshire Archeological Society
New York State Archaeological Association
Vermont Archaeological Society
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INTERNATIONAL ANTHROPOLOGY ORGANIZATIONS
International Union of Anthropological and Ethnological Sciences
Canadian Sociology and Anthropology Association
Societe canadienne de sociologie et d'anthropologie
Canadian Archaeological Association
Canadian Anthropology Society
Royal Anthropological Institute (UK)
Association of Social Anthropologists of U.K. and the Commonwealth
European Association of Social Anthropologists
Association of Social Anthropologists of Aoteaora / NewZealand
Council for British Archaeology
Society for Industrial Archaeology
Society of Africanist Archaeologists .
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