🚀 go-pugleaf

On Mon, 5 Jan 1998 19:01:09 -0500, "Lisa K. Larson"
<llarson@LDSCHURCH.NET> wrote:

>>You Might Belong to a Redneck Volunteer fire department if...

Being a denizen of redneck country (Middle GA and fortunately there
are worse depts)
>>

If your turnout gear is the same as an Alabama bathrobe.

I saw a color photo in our Macon Telecrap newspaper of a Crawford
County volunteer firefighter in no shirt "aiding" firefighters in
Macon (which has a Class 1 rating despite the men wearing undershirts
with their dress pants).

If it takes fifteen minutes to get to the STATION.  This has happened
in Twiggs County.

If you drive slowly to pick up the truck because your probation
officer said one more ticket and you were going to be hauled in.

If you consider higher education among elitist snobs to be First
Responder.

If the rescue truck won't start due to a bad battery (Wilkinson CO GA
had this happen)

If a large/medium town's antique truck looks like your first out pump.

If you use a tech manual for the pump that looks like a WWII museum
exhibit.

If one of your firefighters cannot carry hose due to emphysema.

If your fire chief cannot roll on a call due to the police busting him
the previous night for a 10-16.

I do, however, nominate two vollie outfits in Middle Georgia for best
of show; Houston County and Jones County. Jones County essentially
started out with water system and trailer court baron Robert Andrews
putting garden hose on a Dodge pickup. However, he progressed to a
home built tanker built by dedicated men who have a second best
organization in the area with brand new pumps and rescue squads.  And
the Gray station has a ladder truck! Centerville's station in Houston
has a bagpipe band that can be seen practicing on the 247 Connector
near Robins AFB and the Office Depot.

Worst of show is the Crawford County VFD.  What a joke; the drive to
Station 6 isn't even in a straight line with the apparatus bay.


>>
>>If your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for
>>drag racing while going to a scene
>>
>>If you have naked lady mud-flaps on your pumper
>>
>>If your firehouse has wheels
>>
>>If you've ever got back and found you've locked yourself out of the
>>firehouse
>>
>>If fire trainning consists of everyone standing around a fire get'n
>>drunk
>>
>>If you've ever been toned out on an out house fire also if that out
>>house fire was with intrapment
>>
>>If you've ever let a persons house burn down becasue they wouldn't let
>>you hunt their ground
>>
>>If your personel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has
>>lights in it
>>
>>If you've ever walked through a Christmas display and walked away with
>>at least 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck
>>
>>If your rescue can smoke the tires
>>
>>If your departments name is mispelled on your equipment
>>
>>If the nurses and doctors turn out the lights and hide when you show up
>>at the hospital to get your equipment
>>
>>If dispatch can't mention your name without laughing
>>
>>If the local news crew won't put your department on t.v. because you
>>embarassed them last time.
>>
>>If you've ever locked the keys in your trucks
>>
>>If you've ever reffered to a light bar as sexy
>>
>>If your defib consists of a marine battery, a pair of jumpper cables,
>>and a fish finder
>>
>>If you've ever taken a girl out in a pumper
>>
>>If your pumper has been on fire more times than it's been to a fire
>>
>>If your pumper smokes more than the house fire
>>
>>If you've ever been arrested for indescent exsposure at a house fire
>>
>>If you've ever called it quits on a house fire when the beer got hot
>>
>>If you've ever been late to a house fire becasue you had to stop and get
>>the guy who fell off the truck
>>
>>If you've ever stopped in route to pick up a road kill
>>
>>If you hand out spit cans before each meeting
>>
>>If you have a sign out front of your station that says will fight fires
>>for beer
>>
>>If you're equipment has chew stains down the sides of 'em
>>
>>If everyone on your department is related in some way or another

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