🚀 go-pugleaf

In  Message <Mar.30.11.30.20.1992.9188@porthos.rutgers.edu>
    trudel@porthos.rutgers.edu (Jonathan)  ask the following questions
    of Ralph Winston (a.k.a.  "Nazi with his pals"):

>   Have you ever met a Holocaust Survivor?  Do you have a plausible
>   explanation for why the Nazis collected everyone not German enough  
>   and sent them to camps?  What, praytell was the reason for doing so?

>   What was the reason Germany wanted to run the world?  Did they have
>   any special qualifications that were only apparent to a select few?
>   Motivation, my dear.  Let's hear the motivation behind Nazi actions.
>   Then, let's hear your personal motivation for posting what you do.

While I can't really answer the first, nor the fourth through last questions
    (and I have occasionally asked the last one, i.e., "what is Ralphie's
    motivation?" numerous times), I would like to play with the second and
    third.

In the same spirit as the purported 'excerpts from the Talmud' that Ralph
    posted almost a year ago, I venture to suggest that his explanation
    for  the Nazis collecting everyone not German enough and sending them
    to camps would go something like this:




    Their motives were of the highest and most benevolent.  The entire
	German nation was in the health-care business, and bent their
	efforts to have the most profound effects on the health of all
	those with whom they came into contact.

    The idea that, during so-called "World War II", the German State
	intended to exterminate the Jewish population of Europe (the
	so-called "Exterminationist Theory") is all based on a silly
	misunderstanding, which can easily be cleared up by translating
	certain German words as follows:


		 "Todt" --	Free of all sorrow and care, relieved of
			    		misery, peaceful, tranquil, restful

	    "Vertodigt" --	To be made care free; to be put out of
			     		[one's] misery; to be put to rest

	  "Vertodigung" --	Making carefree; putting out of misery,
					putting to rest

    "VertodigungsLager" --	A place where cares may be put to rest and
					tranquility may be achieved; a
					rest-resort

		 "Gift" --	A material token of [one's] affection and
			   		esteem, given without expectation
					of anything being given in return

	       "GiftGa" --	A "Gift" with particular properties of levity,
					that is especially amusing.  The
					plural form is:  "GiftGas"

	Also, take the term "shower" in the sense of a 'wedding shower' or a
	    'baby shower', i.e., an occasion when ones friends gather together
	    to present the celebrant with tokens of affection and esteem.


    If you make these translations, as you read the records that were kept
	so meticulously by the German staff, you will understand that a large
	number of Jews were "put out of their misery at the state-operated
	rest-resorts of Auschwitz, Dachau, Treblinka, Bergen-Belsen, etc.,
	by being showered with certain especially amusing material tokens
	of the Germans' affection and esteem, which were given without any
	expectation of anything being given in return".

    If you look at the infamous cannisters of "Zyklon B", you will see that,
	not only were they clearly marked as containing "GiftGas", but they
	were labeled with the same symbol that distinguished the most elite
	corps in the German Health-Care Organization, the SS (the initials
	stood for "SchutzStaffel", which in the spirit of the above trans-
	lations becomes 'Guardian Staff' or, more colloquially, 'Life-Guards').

    The symbol to which I refer is, of course, the skull-and-crossbones.  In
	fact, as an indication of the extreme honor that this material was
	intended to convey, the skull-and-crossbones appears not only once,
	but twice!

    In many cases, other branches of the German Health-Care Organization
	visited Jewish villages, administering "shots" which rendered the
	recipients immune from the common cold, from various other diseases
	to which they might otherwise have been susceptible, and from the
	ravages of old age.
    
    And if you ask the obvious question:  "What, then, happened to the Jewish
	population of Europe?  Where are the six million Jews that had been
	living there before 1939, but were missing after 1945?", why, the
	answer becomes something like this:  "Many of them were so overcome by
	this display of German affection and esteem, that they were promptly
	relocated to massive closely-packed underground communities, where
	their tranquility remains undisturbed and unchanging.  Many of the
	others were so warmed, that they floated skyward as if on clouds,
	leaving behind only the merest traces of ashes and dust."




So, thank you, Ralph [or whatever your real name is], for your efforts to
    clarify what you would have us believe was a misunderstanding, and to
    exculpate the intentions of the German people.

May you, yourself, soon be showered with "GiftGas" and come to experience
    the true meaning of being "Vertodigt".


David

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  === Mister Systems ===  |  David L Paktor  |  Paktor@cup.Portal.com
			  |		     |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   A recent survey showed that 80% of Americans think Dan Quayle is
    not qualified to be President.  What is disturbing about this,
	      is that it implies that 20% think he is. 

     However, we can take some reassurance in the notion that these
      are probably the same 20% that think Elvis is still alive...

		(Actually, the number is closer to 17%;
		Dan Quayle thinks that's more than half.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~