🚀 go-pugleaf

If you respond to this post - would you be so kind as to respond directly
to my e-mail id (autopen@quake.net)? My newsreader connection has been
unreliable lately. Thanks!

We're looking for recommendations for books, magazines and other pictures
of girls in ballet, gymnastics, skating, and more showing large girls
enjoying their artistic experience and showing confidence about their
bodies. (Judith Jamison is one dancer who comes to mind. I'd like to find
some pictures/books/articles about her). I found one book on women
olympians at our local library - but she's not as interested in sports as
she is in more artsy (read pretty) looking activities.

My six and a half year old daughter is much taller and larger than other
girls her age. She has already begun to translate this into the idea that
she is "fat'. I have repeatedly told her that she is not fat and try to
talk with her about what it means to be a large beautiful person-without
being boring about it. Our genes are such that not only do we appear tall
but we aren't tall string bean types - we are very filled out, broad and
wide shouldered. We work hard on walking and biking together, eating
right, cooking together, etc. but she will never be willowy looking and I
don't want her to set that unrealistic expectation for herself.

At school she doesn't feel out of place. There are a wide range of sizes
of girls and boys in first grade. And kids wear layers of clothing. But in
her ballet class (this is her 3'rd year of involvement with ballet) she
has recently become much more aware that there is a great deal more flesh
in her leotard than the other girls have. She has begun exhibiting signs
of self-consciousness and has indicated that she doesn't want to look in
the mirror - which is of course an important part of the self-criticism
necessary to the art as well as an important thing to feel good about.
Also she often asks me if she is 'fat'. And of course I tell her that she
is not. I try to avoid talking a great deal about the concepts of
overweightedness (no I'm sure that's not a word!) - though she knows that
the adults in the household are concerned about their fat intake and also
knows that kids use the fat in their bodies to help them grow. 

Likewise in her gymnastics class (which at this age has switched from
being mixed sex to girls only group -  and therefore has less size
diversity) where she also wears a leotard, she is noticing that other
girls are smaller. She also does not have a great deal of natural limber.
Learning to do forward rolls took her six months of hard work when she was
5 - where other kids were springing around in gymnastics. She accepts,
more than I ever did, that she can meet the springy/limber challenge - and
has been working on cartwheels and handstands for several months now.
Still it irks her when a friend (who was just about born being able to do
splits) took to them like a duck to water. I tell her that she probably
has other natural physical qualities that the friend doesn't have -
perhaps more leg and upper body strength.

I have tried encouraging her to become involved in soccer and other sports
where size might be an advantage. However at this point she's not
particularly interested and I think she ought to do the activities she
enjoys. If she wants to be flowery and dance'y (I always did) then that's
what she ought to do.

I want her to develop good feelings about her body and her artistic and
physical expressive abilities. I don't want to see her putting extra
clothes over her leotard to cover up her body - though I don't stop her
from doing so if she wants to. Her ballet teacher and gymnastics coach are
very positive  - but they are, like many of the kids involved, smaller
people as well.

Any ideas, recommended reading, magazines, etc would be much appreciated.
All our ballet books are about kids like 'Tiny Tanya' and 'Little bitty
Lil" - we need to find something more along the lines of "Mesomorph Molly
Makes Mamba" and "Betty Big is Ballistic with Ballet"

Thank you!

Laurel