🚀 go-pugleaf

Chookie wrote:
> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's music 
> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want him 
> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them used 
> to performing.)
> 

	Don't fuss about it until the time of the recital.
If he fusses about it, just tell him that performing is
part of playing music, and you know he's ready and will
do just fine, and even if he doesn't it will be okay, and
you know he has it in him to make it through this, and
you'll help.
	Have him practice playing his piece for family/
friends/neighbors (anyone who hasn't heard it before).
He'll probably make a mistake one of those times, and if
he does, talk him through how to handle a mistake (keep
going, smile).
	Once the time comes, be firm but give lots of
support, and peer pressure will take over when he sees
all the other kids doing it too (and making mistakes).
Afterwards, of course, make much of how well he did
to get up there and play even though he was nervous
about it.

Best wishes,
Ericka

"Chookie" <ehrebeniuk@fowlspambegone.com.au> wrote in message
news:ehrebeniuk-A6105D.11593616092005@news-vip.optusnet.com.au...
> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's
music
> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want
him
> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them
used
> to performing.)
>
Dunno if it will work on a 4 yo, but this is what I'd do before going onto
stage for anything .... (definitely remember doing this before piano
recitals and speech and drama stuff at 7 yo so it *might* work on a 4 yo)

5 minutes before ... shut eyes, name all the sounds you can hear,
categorising them to inside and outside noises ... bonus points for outside
sounds.

2 minutes before and up to entry onto stage.... clench and unclench every
major muscle group from toes to head.

10 seconds before ... just remember to breathe.

Never had a problem once I got up there so no help for that bit sorry.
Amanda

On Fri, 16 Sep 2005 11:59:36 +1000, Chookie
<ehrebeniuk@fowlspambegone.com.au> wrote:

>Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's music 
>concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want him 
>to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
>(The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them used 
>to performing.)

Shrimp's friend who plays violin had exactly the same thing last year
when it came to entering the talent quest.  He wanted to do it when
they first talked about it but by the time it was nearly there he was
petrified and didn't want to do it.  His mother just listened to him
saying no, took his instrument anyway and once he saw the other kids
performing he changed his mind.  

Cheryl

In article <ehrebeniuk-A6105D.11593616092005@news-vip.optusnet.com.au>,
 Chookie <ehrebeniuk@fowlspambegone.com.au> wrote:

> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's music 
> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want him 
> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them used 
> to performing.)

When my kids were young and starting to perform, I just listened, and 
acted as though I hadn't heard the "not going to do it" part -- I 
sypathised with the fact that they were nervous, told them that was OK 
(everyone gets nervous performing), assured them that they'd be fine, 
and went on as though there was no doubt that they'd be performing and 
be OK.  It seemed to work OK.  (In fact, all three ended up doing quite 
a lot of theater.)  I never had to drag them up, though once or twice I 
had to get insistant -- along the "you can't let the others down" line.
-- 
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care 

dragonlady <mehouck@REMOVEpacbell.net> wrote:

>In article <ehrebeniuk-A6105D.11593616092005@news-vip.optusnet.com.au>,
> Chookie <ehrebeniuk@fowlspambegone.com.au> wrote:
>
>> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's music 
>> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want him 
>> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
>> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them used 
>> to performing.)
>
>When my kids were young and starting to perform, I just listened, and 
>acted as though I hadn't heard the "not going to do it" part -- I 
>sypathised with the fact that they were nervous, told them that was OK 
>(everyone gets nervous performing), assured them that they'd be fine, 
>and went on as though there was no doubt that they'd be performing and 
>be OK.  It seemed to work OK.  (In fact, all three ended up doing quite 
>a lot of theater.)  I never had to drag them up, though once or twice I 
>had to get insistant -- along the "you can't let the others down" line.

I hated performing and my piano teacher insisted that we couldn't
really be competent unless we performed some pieces for an audience.
I always resisted doing it, but my mom always made me.  Of course this
wasn't until much later than 4 - I probably didn't start taking piano
lessons until I was 7 or 8. 

 (My mom also had another requirement which was that we couldn't take
lessons from someone who wasn't a top teacher.  OTOH my grandmother
wouldn't let my mom take violin lessons until she could afford lessons
from a good teacher and as a result my mom never really learned to
play the violin.  At least I never heard her refer to it but once in
all the stories she told about her youth.)

My sister loved performing.  I don't know if she got nervous or not -
she never said.  My dad felt that children needed something to get
them into the habit of thinking out of the box, so my parents enrolled
us in a children's experimental theatre group where we did a lot of
role playing games etc.  I liked that, but we also had to be in 3
plays a year and a ballet recital each year.  My sister loved all
that, and had big roles.  I hated it, but I knew there was no use
protesting.

Actually, I don't think I had stage fright so much.  I wasn't afraid I
couldn't do it.  I just didn't want to.  When I got taller than she
was (at about 12), my mom also put me into modeling school to get me
to stand up straight and walk nicely.  I didn't mind that so much for
some reason.

grandma Rosalie

"Chookie" <ehrebeniuk@fowlspambegone.com.au> wrote in message
news:ehrebeniuk-A6105D.11593616092005@news-vip.optusnet.com.au...
> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's
music
> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want
him
> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them
used
> to performing.)
>
Does he have to perform solo? Or in a group? My experience is that young
children do much better in group performances until they're confident enough
to request to perform solo, and indeed, that's what Suzuki does with their
youngest students. The program I teach in does not do performances
exactly-instead, we have classes where parents can invite friends and family
to come and participate, which just happen to be at the end of the semester
and consist of songs and dances the kids have been doing for awhile and are
confident about ;).

Chookie wrote:
> Anyone know how to deal with stage fright in a bright 4 1/2 yo?  DS1's music
> concert is on Sunday and he's saying he doesn't want to go.  I don't want him
> to be ruled by his fears, but I can hardly drag him up on stage!
> (The performance will take about 3 mins and is plainly just to get them used
> to performing.)

I can tell you what worked for me, when I was a kid and took Suzuki.

I was very shy as a kid. One day my mother suggested I play for our
relatives. I didn't want to, started hyperventilating, dug my feet in
about it, no matter how much she coaxed, pled, and bargained.

So my mother suggested that I teach my older sister a short piece, and
my sister could play *for* me. I thought this was a great plan. I
taught her a short piece (Twinkle twinkle little star). Then my sister
stood up in front of all my relatives, and played it really badly.

But all the relatives made a huge fuss over her, complimenting her,
applauding, etc. That DID IT for me!!! I got competitive... how could
they possibly think her playing was any good?? She didn't have my
"experience." (I think I'd been playing only for a few months... hee
hee). And I grabbed the violin away from her and played it *right.*

Today I don't play violin anymore, but you could hardly call me shy. I
am an odd bird in that I actually *enjoy* standing up in front of large
audiences and giving presentations. 

Go figure... 

jen