🚀 go-pugleaf

A guy decides he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop.  After looking 
around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet 
or legs.  The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to the parrot? 
"The parrot answers the guy's question, "I was born this way.  I'm a 
defective parrot."  "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot
actually understood what I said and answered me." "I understood every word," 
says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent,  thoroughly educated bird. "Oh, 
yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this: how do you hang onto your perch 
without any feet?"
 "Well," the parrot says, "This is a little embarrassing, but since you asked 
I'll tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis to this wooden  bar, kind of  
like a little hook. You can't see it cause of my feathers." "Wow," says the 
guy, "you really can understand and answer, can'tyou?"
 "Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can 
converse with reasonable competence on almost any subject: politics, religion,
sports, physics, philosophy. And I am especially good at spying you ought to 
buy me. I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the price tag: $200. He says. "I can't afford that." 
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing.   "Nobody 
wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20, just make an 
offer." The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. 
 The parrot is sensational. He's funny, he's interesting, he's a  great pal, 
he understands everything, sympathizes, gives good advice.    The guy is 
delighted.

 One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says,
 "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes up
  close to the  cage. "I  don't know if I should tell you this or
not," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife and the mailman..."
 "What?" says the guy.  "What?"
"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today,
your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth."
 "What happened then?" asks the guy.
 "Then the mailman came into the house and lifted up the nightgownand began 
petting her all over," reports the parrot.   "My God!!" the guy says. "Then 
what?"
  "Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his knees and began to  lick 
her body, starting with her breasts slowly going down and down..." The parrot 
(pauses for a long time...)

 "What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
 "I don't know," says the parrot, "my dick got hard and I fell off my perch."