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Brought to you by "Myth about McGill University,
Including a Short Story (Chapter 12): Responsibility and Function of
Institutions, Institutions and Their Existence, Society's Support for
Ideology"   http://www.radiotelephone.net/mcgill/myth.htm

=========================


Short Story [Real Story] : Chapter 12 (Seeking a truth, God's message,
and Outcome)

    One day, I woke up and saw outside.   There was no sunshine and
sky was dark.    No birds were flying.  I could only hear the noise of
cars crossing the 
highway... one (car)... two... three... and also the sound of rain
which didn't make my feeling good for morning.     7:00AM:  It would
be a usual time for breakfast.   
I wasn't hungry at that day.   In fact I was not eating anything...
nothing for more than two days.    I took off for the day. 

    I felt my entire body was very tight and had a funny feeling of
getting energy sucked from muscles and bones.  I was realizing how
people would feel after the 
earthquake: I was felling like a victim under collapsed buildings, not
eating anything for days.     Why couldn't I eat anything ?   I
wouldn't know.    

    The time went by and I finished first class of the day, proceeding
to the second class.  I felt clock wasn't moving right.  The classes
were longer for me.       The 
second class finally finished.     At the end of second class, I
thought something was funny.   I thought new assignment was to be
handed out.   I checked the 
course outline.   I saw the indication of it.   I asked the professor
in the class (after the class dismissed, of course) what's going on.
Professor answered, "Oh, I 
didn't know that.  Probably I will give it next week." I was thinking
in my heart: "Next week ?   He can't do that.   Mid-term was coming up
next week and another 
one a week after that... "   I told the professor that the assignment
was handed out today as it was clearly written in the course outline
(threre are three 
assignments in this particular course, each counting 10% of the final
mark.  10% for one assignment is considered a very high percentage
distribution.   A lot of 
mathematics programs, for example, only count 10% for all of the
assignments in the term (i.e.  like 10% for 10 assignments).   Thus
each assignment in this 
particular course isn't flexible compared to other science programs).
I planned myself carefully so I would not overload myself.   My brain
was acting crazy.  I was 
losing my mind.  Still I told myself: "I would have to do something
about it.  I would not just let it go.  I would take his
responsibility."   Responsibilities and 
responsibilities... worryings and worryings...  probably these would
be what made me not hungry in those days.    I was tired but I had to
go to the course 
coordinator for this particular program to see what was going on.   He
told me: "I didn't know anything about it."    I said, "I sent you a
lot of e-mails concerning the 
programs in this school of **^ironment.   I am bringing up this
particular case but this is not my first case.  It is not first time.
Nothing is organized.   If you don't 
know anything about it, how the students are able to find out what's
going on ?  How the students would be able to take the responsibility
?   How the students 
would be able to survive under oppression ?    If I could, I just made
the homework and gave it to the students.   Probably professors aren't
paid enough.   I don't 
know.  I just don't see anyone who is taking the responsibility.   If
I can take the responsibility, I will.    But in this type of problem,
homeworks, I cannot take any 
responsibility !   At least if he told us in the class that it was
going to be late... I wouldn't worry as much... but if professors
don't know about the course... if the 
professors don't know what they are teaching...    Mr. Bar^*,  I am
paying for this ! "
 
 
    After the classes, I had an appointment with the adviser
discussing the concerns for my health as well as ongoing problems for
my courses.   I handed out my request for 
withdrawal from the university -- " Nel^^^ [adviser], I can't live
like this.  I can't study.  I can't study like this.   It's affecting
my health.  It's affecting everything.  I 
can't...  I can't...        I felt I wouldn't be able to survive under
this society... I tried to commit suicide for a lot of times.   A
couple of days ago, I was thinking of 
jumping to Metro... but I decided not to... : I felt it would make
annoyings to a lot of people.    Nel^^^, I am not stupid and I am not
an idiot.   I play musical 
instruments and I fly in the sky.    I do a lot of things... I do a
lot... other than studying.   But it is set up... our society is set
up... you must have a paper from the 
university... otherwise... people are not intelligent nor
responsible...    I can't.   I can't follow it.   I can't follow this
idea.  I can't follow the society.    I have too many 
problems with studying here.   I would like to withdraw but I would
not want to admit that it was due to my fault.   I know I am not
stupid but my intelligence...  ... "
 
     
    After the advising with Nel***, I talked with another councellor:
Basically my request was "approved" with a sequence of councelling and
paperwork.    I got out 
from the councelling building.   I was walking the street to go home.
Suddenly, Someone from heaven, God told me: "Hi.   I think you are
feeling a little better." I 
told him back, "I hope so."   God told me: "Are you still worrying
about studying here or being normal like other people ?   I thought
you wanted to do other things.  I 
thought  that you thought 'other things' would make you happy and make
you positive."     I told him: "What do you mean ?"     God told me:
"You decided to take 
French course [by quitting degree program] anyway from winter right ?
Good for you."   I said to him, "Yep. I thought being fluent in French
was much important 
than having a piece of paper."    God then told me: "You told me you
would go around the world in balloon and in airship... world's 1st to
do it and complete 
everything by being the youngest... "  I told him, "That's right."
God told me: "You decided to learn how to play the trumpet.  Don't you
have time now ?"  I told 
him, "Yep.  I do !"   God asked me, "Are you happy now ?"   I said to
him, "Yes.  I hope so."   God told me: " You aren't stupid.  Don't
call yourself stupid.   Do you 
think you are going to waste your time by not completing the
university degree ?"  I said back to him, "Nop.  But I just worry for
not completing a degree... being 
different."   God told me: "Again... I thought you wanted to become a
world's first and/or youngest to complete worldwide trip in balloon
and airship.  That's 
something different from what other people do.  You promised me to
accomplish it right ?"   I told him back:   "I promised you !"     God
told me: "Are you still 
hesitant ?   Don't worry about it.   You worry too much.  Trust me."
I told him: "I trust you."   God told me: "You are completely right
about how our society works.   
I understand it.   But does it something you want to do [follow set up
"procedures"] now ? "
I said to him, "Nop.  I donna think so."   God told me: "I am here.
You promise me.  You trust me.  Don't give up.   Take care. "    I
told God: "Thanks a lot.  I will 
never give up.  I will never give up.  I know who I am.  I never give
up in society."
    
    
    I arrived at door.   I just drunk a cup of water.   It looked like
Gold.  It tasted like sweet candy.     I entered my room.  I saw a
trumpet hanging around which was 
not being used for years.      I opened it.  I played it.  The sound
wasn't right, but I was happy.      I looked outside.  There were no
clouds outside... and:  "Shooting 
star !  I saw it !!    It was very big !!! "   I didn't see it for
years and years:  It was the first one to see it in Canada.   I love
stars.   I rarely see them in Montreal, 
however.   I felt I was lucky.  I felt I was happy.    I sat down.  I
started to cry.   My tears looked like silver.      God told me from
the sky: "You will make it."


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