🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <DrBL7p.BKt@world.std.com>, John Cooley <jcooley@world.std.com> wrote:
>Bogbody <bogbody@aol.com> wrote:
>>I, too, am impressed when I hear that a man has a nice car or owns his own
>>house. I am not overly impressed when I hear that a man lives with five
>>roommates in a run-down flat and rides a second-hand scooter. As several
>>women have pointed out, however, it is not the WEALTH that is impressive,
>>it is the indication that the man is a responsible, stable adult. If
>>wealth were the issue, then I would be impressed by men who drive Ferari's
>>(spelling, sorry) - as it is, I wouldn't be interested in a man who drove
>>such a vulgar, flashy thing. If a man is too wealthy, I might become
>>uneasy. (I'm not sure why.) However, if a man has a NICE car and a DECENT
>>place to live, then my weird female instincts say "Ah! Now, he might just
>>turn out to be a wonderful father for my children." At the very least,
>>even if I'm not looking to have babies, I still feel re-assured that this
>>guy might not be the type to borrow money and be flighty.
>
>That's funny: these are almost the exact same words my fireman friend said
>when he got the house on Cape Cod and the Jeep.  (I went to his wedding
>yesterday.)  He used to say he could almost hear the women go into this
>"maternal mode" when they saw his car and heard he owned a house.  He
>got a hell of a lot of dates and really enjoyed himself this way!

If I weren't engaged now, that's what I'd be shooting for.  I'm almost
close enough financially to get a good car and a modest flat (hell, I
coulda taken one in Santa Monica but the rent controls were just lifted -
oops, that's not owning, that's renting... owning's the point here :).
Game over.  No more "you're a nice guy, BUT!" bullshit.


>>I hope that men are using similar, parrallel criteria when they are
>>evaluating a woman they have just met...
>
>That's a little more complicated these days, Katy.  It used to be that
>men were purely judged as "success objects" and women as "sex objects"
>(to very grossly oversimplfy things)...  but with women's equality and the
>economic pressures we're all under, it's gotten kind of muddied.   I must
>admit that most guys still have to be physically attracted (at first)
>for a relationship to even begin and I don't think this is really going
>to change much....

To hell with that.  The best position to be in, is an affluent man who
ISN'T attracted to a woman just for her looks.  A man who keeps a firm
reign on his hormones (and general impulses), is both fairly hard to crack
(the usual feminine charms can't break open his wallet), and also attractive
because, despite a few predictably clueless thoughts to the contrary, a man
with self-control is, to the degree of his proficiency, highly popular dating
material.  So basically he attracts the worldly women (the easiest to
attract if you've got what it takes), but they find it hard to leech off of
him. :)

Assuming, of course, that you're into that scene.


>I have an aquaintance (more like a friend of a friend) who I've known for
>the past three years whose name I'll say is "Barb".  Barb has been going out
>with Ben for over 9 years and desperately wants to marry him.  He said no
>because of a mix of reasons plus the fact he wanted her to lose some weight.
>Barb was kind of bullshit about the whole thing so started to try dating
>other men.  She has a fairly good job, her own condo, but she was 5'6"
>and wore size 22 clothes.  She couldn't get any guys to date her.  Over
>about 6 months she lost about 30 lbs and plateaued at size 18.  For the 
>past 1 1/2 years she's been doing everything to get a steady
>boyfriend -- stuff like paying big bucks to answer personal ads and
>joining dating services.  And every weekend the friend of a friend tells
>me how poor Barb had a great date with some new guy -- but they *never*
>call her back for a second date.  Barb's even joined one of those pricey
>dating services where it worked out to $120.00 per date -- and she still
>can't get a second date!

She's a real rarity.


-- Steve