🚀 go-pugleaf

: Dear Cat,

: younger than 44]; and my influence is non-existent. Yes women like me -- 
: I am kind, witty, caring, etc., but the minute someone comes along that 
: has the money, the looks, the power, etc. I get discarded without a 
: second thought. That is direct from the School of Hard Knocks.

  i'm afraid such is life . think of it as a gift and favor these women
  did for you by leaving you . one woman left me for an ex-felon (
  convicted bank robber to be exact ), it crushed me for a long time 
  but now i realized it was a favor from god.

: While I may not be married, I have been fortunate enough to form 3 very 
: deep long term relationships that are rooted in reality, not fantasy. One 
: of those relationships is 16 years old, and the other two each 10 years 
: old -- that is 3 relationships that have existed longer than the average 
: marriage does -- so I must be doing something right -- I compare them 
: with 3 more relationships with a 28 y.o., and two 27 y.o. two of which  
: have existed for 4 years, and one for 3 years, with them I might as well 
: as be from the planet Mars. We all use the same words, but they define the 
: words one way, and I define them in a different way. 

  by your own words and my account , you are and were doing fine . with
  your life , that's how the chips fell . the thing is not to become
  embittered ; that would only hurt us . if you can't communicate
  with the younger ones , then try someone else a bit older .

  personally, i wouldn't truck around with anyone that i don't
  deem "deep" enough . yeah right , " deep " is as i define it and
  if it does not fit me , i let them go .

: What I have discovered is that our "success" is often measured by what we 
: have -- the type of car, the size of house, do we rent, do we own, the 
: beautiful wife/handsome husband, the type of job, our position in the 
: community, etc. If these things are missing -- we drive an old truck, or 
: car, we lack a high paying job, etc. --  then we are deemed "unsuccessful".

: I am poor; I am not unsuccessful: How many people do you know that can 
: say they have lived in, and traveled throughout Europe, and who was 
: frequently invited to European events that most "Americans" never get to 
: see; have lived and traveled throughout the Caribbean -- and thought of 
: as a "West Indian"; have lived in 7 different States, and visited another 
: 7-10; have been an Olympian; is considered only one of 3 people in the 
: U.S. that is a leader is a type of scientific research; who could also 
: almost qualify as a professional stage hand as well; who is also a 
: freelance photographer ?? I doubt very many. ... and that my Dear 
: Cat is but the tip of the iceberg, as I am so much more!! Poor?? Yes; but I 
: have done and experienced things 90% of the U.S. population will never 
: do. And while I may be poor Dear Cat I also know how to treat a woman as a 
: proper lady, regardless of how much money I have.

  you seem to have had a very "rich life" as i define it . i am even
  a little envious of your experience . if certain people define
  themselves by the stuff they own or could own , then they are 
  not your type . you know , i have few friends ; but the few
  i have , we all go back 15+ yrs , way back when we all were
  in college and poorer than church mice . 
  i have not been very succesful in making friends , "real friends"
  in my professional circle and i have been working for 15 yrs +
  at the same place . i live simply and perhaps both consciously
  and subconsciously use my lifestyle as a filter of people . if
  someone can see through and decide to get to know me then great,
  otherwise it is no big loss .

: The biggest crime Dear Cat is that today people are thought of as 
: disposable, rather than sentient beings each unique, capable of adding 
: value to a personal relationship, a company, a community, a region, a 
: country, a world. The instant we accept the concept of a "bottom line", 
: we have become corrupted. The greatest resource we have are people and 
: their talents and experiences; when we squander this greatest of 
: resources by making them disposable, we will ultimately find that we will 
: have trivialized ourselves.

  it may be so as you say , but the type of people you are looking
  for has always been far and few in between . this simple fact 
  became clear to me a while ago . it seems to me that you are,
  if not already , ready for some zen. i personally recommend the
  two books by charlotte "joko" beck's " simple zen " and "nothing
  special " or something like that. peace.