🚀 go-pugleaf

On 24 Dec 1995, Allan N. Hessenflow wrote:

( ...prior discussion clipped... it had to do with american cars vs 
attracting smart women.)

> 
> But surely there must be an American car somewhere that meets those
> requirements.  Well, OK, it wouldn't be easy for me to find an American
> car I like, but plenty of men do like some...
> 
Nothing wrong with american cars - I didn't make that comment. I don't 
like flashy american cars much, though, because they look... flashy. 
Cheap even though they cost a lot. I would prefer a guy who had a 
reasonable car and had invested the rest of his $ somehow, as opposed to 
someone who was all show and had questionable substance.

I made my comment to say, look, if you are being something you aren't in 
order to attract me, I'll find out sooner or later and think less of you 
for having faked me out. Lies, even the sort that are omissions or 
misdirections, are one of the biggest turnoffs I run into - abusive 
behavior (emotional or physical) is another. 

But then, I make enough $ on my own to support two people - I did for 
most of the long term (12 year) relationship I was in after college. Even 
bought a house and new car on that salary. I don't have to have a guy to 
survive physically or financially. There's a BIG difference between 
needing someone in your life to survive... and wanting someone in your 
life just because you want him there.

Some guys are insecure and have to tie a woman down with the fact that she
requires them to survive. That gives them the security of knowing she
won't leave. But I bet it'd make some of you guys feel very good to know
you're important to a woman because she *wants* you. That she is staying
with you because she loves you, thinks you're her best friend... not 
because she'd be in the poorhouse if she left.

--Louise, who was once told by a guy, "You don't need me, you can do
everything on your own." to which I replied, "no, I don't need you... but
I can't do everything. It's pretty tough to hug myself, kissing is
impossible, and I rarely surprise myself with flowers, not to mention
having an intelligent conversation with myself makes people stare." He
didn't get it... ah well.