🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <547@ihlpl.UUCP> ldd4@ihlpl.UUCP (Mirek) writes:
>> 	The question: Are ALL jokes offensive in SOME way to SOMEone?
>> Can anyone supply a joke that is completely inoffensive to anybody
>> (yet still funny to someone)? 
>.....
>> 	I really would like to hear some non-offensive jokes, if anybody
>> can think of any. Please post them, let's see if anybody is offended.
>
>A termite walks into a bar and says,
>"Is the bartender here?"
>
>                             -- T.C.


    Last night I went over to my Uncle Ebenezer Kyrieleison's house to visit.
He's a crotchety old man who takes his religion very seriously. I told him
this joke, and his face got red, veins began pooping on his forehead and in
his neck, and he screeamed, "How DARE you come into my house and BLASPHEME!
God has given man and man alone the capacity to speak - not animals - 
especially not VERMIN like TERMITES! You ridicule God's miraculous gift
to mankind - you shall forever BURN in HELLFIRE! Now get out of my house,
I shall pray long and hard for God not to destroy the house I try to keep
so holy!" Well, he's just an old fart, but he's a rich old fart, and I didn't
want to offend him further, so I left.
    On the way home I stopped into the local pub - The Boor's Head Tavern -
to quaff a beer or two. I told the joke to a fellow sitting at the bar, and
he hauled off and smacked me right in the nose. Before I could stop the
bleeding, he left the tavern, but the bartender explained: The other guy
was also a bartender. His mother sometimes helped out by cleaning the
equipment under the bar. Well, it seems that termites had eaten away the
supporting beams for the counter, and as his mother was leaning over to
polish the beerkegs, the bar collapsed, killing the woman instantly. In 
light of this, my joke seemed in poor taste, and I became depressed.
    Consider the joke:
	A black guy walks into a bar carrying a monkey on his shoulder. The
	bartender says, "Hey, that's neat! Where'd you get that?". The 
	monkey says, "Africa."
    Now, this joke is only funny if the monkey says "Africa". If the man
says "Africa", everybody yawns. Of course, black people are also only
offended if the monkey speaks. I claim, therefore, that talking animals
must be offensive.

	QED.     --MKR


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		"That's not funny - that's sick!"