🚀 go-pugleaf

[]
Not long ago, someone wrote in saying 'what in hell do twinkies have to
	do with suicide?', or words to that effect.  Perhaps others of
	you are wondering the same thing.  Well, let me give you just one
	reason why it might be Extremely Relevant, and even a Pressing
	Issue.
Namely, the famous Twinkie Defense.  The Twinkie Defense is not a chess 
	strategy where you mash a twinkie over your threatened king to 
	hide him.  It was a legal plea used in a California criminal case
	where some guy [details in my mind are sketchy or nonexistent, as
	usual] was accused of assault or manslaughter or somesuch violence.
Well, the defense lawyer [am I spelling 'defense' wrong?  Should it be
	'defence'?] claimed that his client had eaten so many Twinkies and
	other junk foods with weird [spelt right] chemicals in them that
	he became clinically depressed and so on and so forth, mood
	alterations, blah blah blah.  The accused was acquitted on this
	very basis.  I think.  I know that Twinkies were the culprit, and
	I'm pretty sure the judge and/or jury bought it.  
Hence, the California criminal justice system has determined that Twinkies
	can be pretty damn dangerous -- perhaps life threatening.  I sure
	wouldn't sell a ten-pack of Twinkies to some depressed SOB, because
	his family would probably sue me for serving him.  Like the bars
	that are sued when the drunk driver kills the child.  
So those ten-packs are out there, but you may have to sign a release to
	buy them.

Yours etc.,
[will my .sig be appended for me?  why risk it?]
                   Thomas Cox
...ihnp4!gargoyle!sphinx!benn

	"I still have something up my sleeve, Dangermouse!"

"Crikey, look out, DM, he may be armed!"