🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <681@frog.UUCP> wjr@frog.UUCP (STella Calvert) writes:
>If you're used to school not being a challenge, it
>really boggles you the first time you hit something that makes you
>work for a change.  
This really hit home for me.  I was fumbling around trying to study
for my prelims and not getting anywhere.  I had, without realizing it,
been getting more and more depressed over my mother's death.  Also, I
was used to having school be easy and to be "spoon fed" via the lectures.
Now that I had to do it on my own, I was in trouble.  Aggravating all
this was my perfectionism which told me that I should know everything
about everything for the prelims.   There was also some sexual
dysfunction that I had stuck on the back shelf.  But I won't go
into that here.....  Believe me, I was screwed up.

The way out was to start therapy.  I probably had a notion that I would
need therapy some day, and a friend in the National Guard named Charlie
sort of talked me into it.  'Twas very helpful.  My first reaction was
to brighten up because I thought/hoped that Mrs. Roosa was going to
"fix" me.  Then I sank back a little because I realized that I was
going to have to do the *work*.  (What an awful word :-)  I did 3
years with her, and managed to pass the prelims, complete a dissertation,
have one rather screwed up relationship.  I wasn't able to really get
straightened out with women in that time frame.

BTW, suicide had never been on my mind.

Maurice

{decvax,sdcrdcf,ihnp4,ucbvax}!trwrb!suhre