🚀 go-pugleaf

One more and it is ISP up's for you. I won't allow you to do this in this
group without writing everyone I can to get you out.
Diana
"Ken" <krp@atlantic.net> wrote in message
news:JAUB9DJN37155.3848726852@anonymous.poster...
> Just kidding.  Seriously, though, here are some JOKES to lighten the mood,
> brought to you by the American Society of Trial COnsultants
> (www.astcweb.org):
>
> What does WTC stand for? -  "What Trade Center?"
>
> Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
> A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds
>
> Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
> A: It's a blast
>
> The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale
> Earnhardt.
>
> At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating areas:
> smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition.
>
> They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC: they have found
5000
> extra pairs of hands...
>
> New York, New York, so good they hit it twice
>
> American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!
>
> Q: What is world most efficient airline?
> A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York
> 8:48!
>
> What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th floor
> of the WTC ? - The 91st floor.....
>
> What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th
> floor
> of the WTC ? - The radio mast...
>
> America's new math:
> Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon?
> A: 4
>
> If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed "The
> Square"?
>
> It should be renamed "The Penta-gone"
>
> It should be renamed "Manflatten"
>
> Famous last words: "Amal, was this tower here yesterday?"
>
> American Airline's pilot announcement:
> "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing on New York in about 10
> minutes....."
>
> Well, this proves one thing.... New Yorkers really come together in a
> crunch
>
> Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M
> (unidentified flying muslim)
>
> Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their
> respective airplanes?
> A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!
>
> NEWSFLASH.... The WTC has been destroyed.... thousands of New York
> executives feared dead.... Hookers all across the city are in
mourning.....
>
> "25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent.  Recently renovated.  New Air
> Conditioning unit.  Needs TLC.  Contact me at One World Trade Centre. 85th
> Floor, Room 18."
>
> "It's a bird!"
> "It's a plane!"
> "It's.... Oh fuck, it IS a plane!"
>
> Q: Why didn't Superman stop the planes from hitting the Trade Towers?
> A: Because he's a quadriplegic!
>
> Q: What do you call a dust storm?
> A: Trade winds.
>
> Q: What's the area code of the World Trade Center?
> A: 220 (two to zero).
>
> Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers?
> A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way.
>
> Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
> A: Ten seconds flat.
>
> Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
> A: The rest of your life
>
> Q: Why are police and firemen New York's finest?
> A: Because now you can run them through a sieve.
>
> Optimism,  as you fall past the 20th floor you shout "I'm not hurt yet"
>
> How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
> God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot
>
> What's the number one drink served on United Airlines?
> Flaming Manhattan
>
> What music do they play in the elevator in the WTC?
> Jump and It's Raining Men
>
> Floor 106...... you ARE the weakest link.... goodbye....
>
> What color were the pilots eyes?
> Blue. One blew this way the other blew that way
>
> What team does a United Airlines pilot support?
> The New York Jets
>
> Where do Americans go on vacation?
> All over Manhattan
>
> How many Americans died in the WTC yesterday?
> Who gives a fuck
>
> What's the difference between Wembley and New York?
> Wembley's still got their twin towers.
>
> What's the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma City
> Bombing? - Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more
> efficiently......
>
> Then there's the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into
the
> World Trade Center..........
>
> Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from other
> Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the
> tragedy... I guess they'll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in too!
>
> Last words from Airline pilot  "Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my
> brother works there...lets look just a bit closer...."
>
> The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State Building
> for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught with
> 'Empire State: We're Back!!!'  T-shirts in his office...
>
>
> Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack
>
> 10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.
>  9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it.
>  8. People are learning how to spell "Afghanistan" correctly.
>  7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.
>  6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.
>  5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.
>  4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.
>  3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.
>  2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold
> Schwarzenegger's last 5 movies.
> And the number one ...
>  1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.
>
>
>
>
>