🚀 go-pugleaf

I think the Top Ten Conservative Idiots list deserves recognition and should
be a must read for all secondary  education students.  Any idea on how the
Bush camp is going to spin the latest development on all of the information
he had prior to 9/11/01.
Jim
Name withheld by request wrote:

>    cites @ http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/
>
>    The Top Ten Conservative Idiots (No. 67)
>    May 13, 2002
>    O'Reilly Pissed Off Edition
>
>    Look out Drudge, ol' Bill's a gunning for ya! O'Reilly shoots his way
>    to the top of the chart this week with a most excellent celebrity
>    death-threat. But that's not all. Our favorite Republican scandal
>    Enron (2) is back in the news; now they've been caught fiddling with
>    the power supply in California. George W. Bush (3) returns after an
>    absence of several weeks and the ever-idiotic John Ashcroft (4) wants
>    Bill O'Reilly to be able to carry out his threat more easily.
>    Meanwhile Drew Carey (6) makes his debut appearance (but we fear it
>    may not be his last) and Guy Velella (8) is the latest Republican to
>    go down on corruption charges. And at the very bottom of the barrel we
>    find a man who really deserves a Lifetime Achievement Award for
>    Conservative Idiocy - Dan Quayle (10).
>
>    Please be aware that we are running a little low on cash this week, so
>    we were unable to afford those cute little icons next to the names.
>    Help a needy webmaster purchase valuable icons... Donate to our
>    second-quarter fund drive!
>
>    1 Bill O'Reilly
>    What do you do if you're a egotistical conservative who figures
>    there's money to be made in talk radio, but your banter is way too
>    lame to impress radio stations across the country? Do what any
>    self-serving conservative would do, of course - line their pockets.
>    Clearly the media is still too liberal and conservatives just aren't
>    getting enough airtime on the AM band because last week Bill
>    O'Reilly's new talk show debuted on a record number of stations across
>    the country. But it was red-face time for Blowhard Bill when Matt
>    Drudge reported on his website that the stations were being paid to
>    carry O'Reilly's show - a "dramatic reversal from normal radio
>    practice." Oh dear. So what was O'Reilly's response to the Drudge
>    accusations? Typically conservative, I'm afraid. Taking a leaf from
>    the Anne Coulter Hitman's Handbook (see Idiots 54) O'Reilly announced
>    on "Imus in the Morning" that "There is no other cure than to kill
>    Matt Drudge." Fair and balanced all the way, Bill!
>
>    2 Enron
>    Behold the power of unchecked capitalism and corporate deregulation -
>    the two things which truly make America great. It was revealed last
>    week that Enron lawyers wrote a memo in December 2000 detailing how
>    the company could shaft the consumers of California by creating
>    phantom congestion and making phony sales among its affiliates to bump
>    up electricity prices. Of one strategy, lawyers wrote, "The net effect
>    of these transactions is that Enron gets paid for moving energy to
>    relieve congestion without actually moving any energy or relieving any
>    congestion." Another method involved Enron sending energy out of, and
>    then back into California, to avoid price caps. Now presumably the
>    boys in Houston assumed that nothing bad would befall them since their
>    guy was already installed in the White House at this point - and guess
>    what? They were right. Yup, if your corporation owns the White House,
>    you can do pretty much anything you like. Oh, wait a minute - George
>    "Honor and Integrity" Bush doesn't even know Ken Lay, does he?
>
>    3 George W. Bush
>    Good old Dubya really stepped on some toes last week by blocking an
>    international drive to promote teen sex education. Bush laughably
>    believes that chastity before marriage is very important (of course he
>    was still a virgin when he married Pickles, what are you insinuating?)
>    and therefore the rest of the world should just shut up about sex,
>    right now. Several European Union governments are extremely pissed off
>    by Bush's refusal to sign a United Nations declaration on children's
>    rights, "unless pledges on sexual health services are scrapped,"
>    according to the London Observer. That's probably George's definition
>    of leaving no child behind. Apparently every minute five people under
>    25 are infected with HIV worldwide - and George's solution is to tell
>    them to simply stop having sex. Well, if it works for Catholic priests
>    it'll probably work for hormonal teenagers, right?
>
>    4 John Ashcroft
>    In an interesting Constitutional law development last week, John
>    Ashcroft basically told the Supreme Court that they can stick 60 years
>    of federal policy where the sun don't shine. See, according to
>    Ashcroft, the Second Amendment gives individuals the right to bear
>    arms. Never mind the opinions of the Supreme Court, most legal
>    scholars, and even the Justice Department itself since 1939. And so,
>    in the midst of civil liberties crackdowns and First Amendment zones,
>    Herr Ashcroft thinks that the best solution to fighting terrorism is
>    to make sure there are more guns out on the streets, and that they are
>    more easily available. Incidentally, according to the Violence Policy
>    Center, 28,874 Americans were killed with guns in 1999. But that's
>    okay by John Ashcroft because... most of them were probably criminals
>    anyway... and cars must have killed a lot more... and, well, gun crime
>    is going up in Britain doncha know... and, um, well, what? Are you
>    going to ban knives next? You can pry them from my cold dead fingers!
>    Get your hands off me you stinking communist!
>
>    5 Barbara Bush
>    Vroom! Vroom! It appears that former first lady Barbara Bush is not
>    the genteel old lady that we thought. Last week Newsweek reported that
>    until recently, NASCAR Bar liked to race around the sleepy town of
>    Kennebunkport, Maine in a black TransAm. Yes, the rusty old jalopy was
>    often seen out and about, zooming round the backstreets and tearing up
>    the country lanes - although sometimes she decided to walk instead
>    (boom tiss). But sadly, Bar says she had to give up her beloved wheels
>    due to potential, um, family issues. "That car was an invitation for
>    one of the grandchildren to get arrested. The last thing we need is
>    for another one of them... " Bar stopped speaking midsentence, so her
>    family secret is still safe. But to be honest, I don't really know
>    what she's so worried about - if you're a Bush you can get arrested
>    for DUI or your wife can kill someone while driving, and you'll still
>    end up in the White House!
>
>    6 Drew Carey
>    I used to enjoy Drew Carey's portrayal of an unattractive-but-lovable
>    everyday blue-collar guy. But I'm afraid after the White House Press
>    Dinner last week I'm going to view him from now on as an
>    unattractive-and-hate-filled brown-nosing George Bush butt-licker.
>    Carey told some hilarious jokes throughout the evening, such as, "He
>    won. They lost. That's what happened." And, "There was no vote rigging
>    or any of that crap." Funny stuff, huh?
>
>    7 The Bush Administration
>    Environmental Protection Agency? That's a laugh. What "protection
>    agency" would create a new rule which would allow coal mining
>    companies to fill streams, rivers and wetlands with industrial waste?
>    Yet that's just what the Bush administration proposed last week. The
>    rule would overturn Army Corps of Engineers regulations which prohibit
>    mining companies from dumping waste in nearby waterways. Guess Earth
>    Day is just something that happens to other planets, eh George?
>    Fortunately a federal judge blocked the rule, calling it a violation
>    of the 1977 Clean Water Act and saying that, "Only the United States
>    Congress can rewrite the Act to allow fills with no purpose or use but
>    the deposit of waste." Still, since when has something so
>    insignificant as the United States Congress gotten in the way of the
>    Bush Administration's decision making?
>
>    8 Guy Velella
>    Here's an update on the Grand Old Party of Morals, Values, and
>    Personal Responsibility. Guy Velella, a Republican state senator from
>    New York, surrendered last week after he was charged with taking cash
>    bribes from companies in return for state bridge painting contracts.
>    According to the Associated Press, "Reports linking the senator to the
>    bribery investigation surfaced two years ago, just weeks before he was
>    last reelected. At the time, he called the accusations politically
>    motivated." Oh well - just because attacks are politically motivated
>    doesn't mean that you're not a lying crook. Have you ever noticed that
>    the Republicans seem to be constantly shouting about criminal
>    Democrats, despite any lack of evidence, while members of their own
>    party keep going to jail on corruption charges? Oh well.
>
>    9 Stephen Limbaugh
>    Justice Stephen Limbaugh, who is - yes! - related to our favorite
>    sweat-trap Rush "lard-lad" Limbaugh, came to an interesting conclusion
>    about video games last week: "[There is] no conveyance of ideas,
>    expression, or anything else that could possibly amount to speech. The
>    court finds that video games have more in common with board games and
>    sports than they do with motion pictures." Limbaugh obviously studied
>    video games extensively for his research, since he listed in his
>    opinion "Fear Effect", "Doom" (which is nearly 10 years old), "Mortal
>    Combat" (um, don't you mean "Kombat?"), and "The Resident of Evil
>    Creek" (er, I'm sure that's "Resident Evil." You know - they made it
>    into a movie). See, apparently NO video games count as free speech,
>    because the ones Limbaugh reviewed - oh-so-thoroughly - did not
>    contain "extensive plot and character development." So there you have
>    it: proof that spouting endless crap on subjects you know nothing
>    about is a trait which definitely runs in the Limbaugh family...
>
>    10 Dan Quayle
>    And finally, the award for the longest-running spin of all time goes
>    to... Dan Quayle. The guy is starting to sound like a broken record.
>    Dan popped up from whatever dank hidey-hole he's been lurking in to
>    announce last week (for the 10,000th time) that... he was right about
>    Murphy Brown! (No, not this again.) Quayle took a slightly different
>    tack this time, telling reporters at the National Press Club that, "I
>    never criticized single mothers. What I was trying to do was point out
>    the reality of their struggles and the difficulties they have in
>    raising their children." So there you have it - it's taken ten years,
>    but he's still perfecting his spin on the Murphy Brown story. Phew!
>    Dan then went on to insist that, "I was right - it is spelled
>    POTATOE." See you next week!
>
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