🚀 go-pugleaf

orlando4@ix.netcom.com (CHARLIE BARTA ) wrote:
>
> In <45tl3i$792@news.iadfw.net> "Scott C. McKissack"

> >I agree, we tend to always be attracted to the same types, I suppose
> >we could make a consious effort to change that trait, however it is
> >difficult since it is so much easier to find the people you are
> >naturally attrcted to, whether they are good for you or not.

How does one make this conscious effort?  One way I have thought of is
to give someone a chance who seems like a nice person with compatible
values even though there's no initial fireworks.  The downside is that
this can end mean leading the other person on.  In the effort to give it
a chance to happen we end up giving the wrong signals but then I guess
that's always a risk for both sides anyway.  I still feel really bad
when my initial feeling of "no fireworks" turns out to be right and 
I'm put in the position of hurting someone.   

> I feel most people (myself sometimes included), play head games during
> the infatuation period of a relationship. It's like the peacock, we
> want to show off our bright side. Once the plumage falls off and face
> one another's true nature we may have dug such a deep hole (lies),
> about ourselves that the only way out is to lie some more or brake it
> off. If we were honest during the early stages, we might feel
> inadequate and not pursue our desire to build a relationship. Know what
> I mean?
>                     CB

Best insight on this thread so far.

Also if what will the other person feel?  If you're
honest about your flaws and don't try to show your bright side whoever
you deal will assume that what zie sees is your bright side and that
things will only get worse.  When I go out with someone I expect them
to be showing their best, in a way it's flattering.  
I suppose there's a balance between honesty and a genuine desire to 
put your best foot forward.  You don't have to bring all the skeletons
in your closet on the first date.  Unless it's the Halloween boink ;)
  
Aqua