🚀 go-pugleaf

alex@cts.com (Steve Alexander) wrote:

[] In article <45ofa3$m9i@garlic.com> stz@garlic.com (Steve Zwaska) writes:
[] 
[] >I think you'll find that people will live up to your expectations of them. If 
[] >your going into a relationship looking for a certain type of behavior (even 
[] >subconciously) I believe that you'll find it because you'll read things into 
[] >situations that aren't neccessarily there. Try assuming the best. If the 
[] >intentions of the other person are truly negative, they'll expose themselves in 
[] >due time.
[] 
[] I have noticed in life that you can "try" all you want, and it will make no 
[] difference whatsoever.  You can either *do* such and such or you can *try*. 
[] You can never do both.  When you *try*, you are already aware that you are not 
[] *doing* whatever it is you are *trying* to do.
[] 
[] In the example above, you may *try* to assume the best. In doing so, you are, 
[] in the same thought, admitting that you are not *really* assuming the best -- 
[] you are only *trying*.
[] 
[] There is nothing wrong with *trying*, mind you. It just doesn't work.
[] 
[] - Steve

Quite true.  But this is not a distinction that people easily make.  The way it
was finally put across to me was this:

My "teacher" said, "Try to give me this glass of water."  But he wouldn't
take it.  Then he said, "Clearly you are trying.  But I still don't have the
glass.  That's the difference between trying and doing."

And just now, while I was typing this, I had a further insight.  In some cases,
to *do* something you need cooperation from someone else.  This could
save me "talking to brick walls", if I can remember it in the thick of things!


OTOH, I do agree with the intent of the original suggestion.  I find that people
often do live up or down to what is expected of them.