🚀 go-pugleaf

stevep@shore.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>In article <45eii1$q3f@gazette.tandem.com>,
>
>How about when someone you recently met through the Internet takes the
>time to write email to you the next morning telling you how much fun she
>had on the date, and then when you ask to see her again she says no?
>
>=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
>Is a Navy proctologist called a Rear Admiral?


From the outside of this cursory experiment with a species of the 
opposite sex, it appears that she was giving you the easy letdown as not 
to hurt your feelings .... hmmmm ... then again, your date may be taking 
prozac and have the rarest of reactions (estimated at a - lucky - 5% in a 
recent survey of prozac patients) whereby when she sneezes she reaches an 
orgasm ... 

I mention the orgasm because with mold season fast approaching us, she'll 
have her - excuse me for saying it ... her nose full from hayfever-like 
symptoms ...

Other thoughts.....

1> I hope you didn't crack the Rear Admiral joke with her ... most women 
hate burping and farting humor too - unless they are drunk!!!  If you're 
not sure of your female date's intoxication level, say "pull my finger" 
and her reaction will tell it all

2> The "Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?" jokes remind them of their 
fathers, so those are out too!!!

3> Head games, I find, are real sexy ... not the ones where you throw her 
into a sensory deprivation tank for days ... the ones where you both have 
an understanding .... lots of fun, but not for the faint of heart or the 
truly dependent in an emotional or -- dare I say -- financial sense.  In 
most major cities, men will pay big bucks for a mind fuck as it's called 
in the trade.

4> Give them a reason to say yes ... and I don't mean the stalker and/or 
gunpoint thing ... For example, look deeply into her eyes and say, "Next 
time wear the black dress and have your passport ready ... we're eating 
out of the country!!!"  Bring her to the Cape and point out the Vineyard 
and mention that "Ireland really is close to England, isn't it?"

5> Don't bring up the restraining order your last girlfriend brought 
against you ... bad idea!!!!

6> Never discuss your gun collection....

7> Or the crossbow you shoot squirrels with ...

8> If they can't take a joke, the hell with them!!!  If they say no after 
a relatively pleasant night, have the foresight to know that that is one 
person you will never have to live with!!!  As my grandfather once said, 
"Before you settle down with her, ask yourself this question: 'In fifty 
years, can you still look at this woman and smile?'"  .... words from a 
genuis I think ... total clarity!!!!

9> Go 50/50 on the first date ... that way you don't feel ripped off ... 
steak, dick and lobster are not a combination plate these days

10> Lighten up!!!  You have the rest of your life to look forward to