🚀 go-pugleaf

I removed dfw.* out of the newsgroup line per Karon's request although
I fail to see how this subject is any less topical in that group then
it is in all the others.  

In article <wpHfwgHwt+FB084yn@shore.net> stevep@shore.net writes:
>In article <45fmpu$un@transfer.stratus.com>,
>fereira@isis.com (John Fereira) wrote:
>> In article <r2xewgHwtWqX084yn@shore.net> stevep@shore.net writes:
>> >In article <45eii1$q3f@gazette.tandem.com>,
>> >Aqua <reif_andrea@tandem.com> wrote:
>
>> >> Can someone please define what is a head game.  Yeah, this is something
>> >> we all know but who can actually define what it is?
>
>> >> Someone starting something with you and then changing zir mind?
>
>> >Not that alone. That's fine.
>> >How about when someone you recently met through the Internet takes the
>> >time to write email to you the next morning telling you how much fun she
>> >had on the date, and then when you ask to see her again she says no?
>
>> That's not a head game.  It's possible to have fun on a date yet find 
>> that there is no romantic interest.  Although many people have different
>> definitions of what is considered a "date" often a date is used to see
>> if there is any romantic interest.  If that is someone's intent in the
>> first place then it is hardly a head game.  It's just that you expect
>> a romantic interest because *you* may have one.   The expectation that
>> she may want to see you again because she had fun on a first date and
>> you have a romantic interest is only in *your* head.
>
>Then why bother sending an email message at all? If you're not
>interested any more, why do something that gives, IMO, the wrong
>impression?
 
I didn't read the email in question so I don't know what kind of 
impression that you got.  Perhaps she just had fun on the date and
was just trying to tell you that.  That doesn't mean that you turned
her on romantically.  If you're unsure you should have asked her.

A few years ago I went out on a hike with a woman that I met on the
net and we had a great time.  A week or so later I asked if she'd like
to do it again sometime.  She said, "sure, but I don't see this turning
into a romantic relationship".  I appreciated her honesty and didn't
see that as playing head games at all.  Before any romantic expectations
could develop it was communicated exactly where she stood as far her
feelings.  We went out numerous times after that and became good friends.
She is now married and living 3000 miles away but we still communicate
on a regular basis and is probably one of my best net.friends.  

The point is, if you think you're developing a romantic interest then
you should talk to the person involved early and find out if you're
on the same wavelength.  If you are, cool.  If not, it's nobodys fault
and you shouldn't be putting the blame on the other by implying that
they are playing head games.

-- 
John Fereira
fereira@isis.com
Isis Distributed Systems - Ithaca, NY