🚀 go-pugleaf

This is getting posted darn near everywhere... well, if any collective 
bunch of these groups want out, please post a note to all saying quit. 
Don't just send me a nastygram, 'cause I'm thinking, uhuh, one 
person thinks this is drek, but how about everyone else? Else... I assume 
people are reading it.
 
Note: I read ne.singles, and if you don't post to that newsgroup, I won't 
see your reply.

On Fri, 5 Jan 1996, Simonetta A. Rodriguez wrote in response to Nina's post:


>...  I just do not agree that 
> these sweeping generalities regarding such traits as honesty, etc., are 
> valid.  It does not make sense that these are sex-linked traits.  Nor that 
> culture bestows these positive traits upon men in ANY greater share.  If 
> women buy into this, then we may very well prove it true in our own lives, of 
> course.

The people who have lied to me in my lifetime are both male and female,
but predominantly male. Perhaps this is because the men would benefit most
from gaining face, from me believing them, from me trusting them. 

But I've been dealt with honestly by men and women alike, also. I don't 
think this "head games" thread has much validity - some men play intense 
games, and some women do. It hasn't been my experience that as many women 
play games with ME. And it hasn't been men's experience that other MEN 
play games with them.

I suggest that there's something else going on here besides one sex
tending to play games and the other not. Perhaps men see women as game
players and I see men as game players (some of them) because we are taught
to play games in context of impressing the opposite sex. In fact, I've
heard gay guys complain of their lovers playing the SAME sorts of games
women play on guys... so perhaps it's "impressing the sex we want to
impress" and, also, CONTROLLING the sex-of-interest. 

Also, many things seen as "games" are communications breakdowns. A woman
says something, knowing what she means, it comes out as something ELSE
when he hears it, given his context. He complains that she is playing a
game, she gets ticked off and pissy and won't talk to him, he complains
that this too is a game... and it gets much worse the longer it goes on. 

This is when, if you're dealing with someone who is your friend and not
just your sex partner, you TALK about things before they get out of hand.
And you get the comments like "oh is THAT what you meant! And I thought
you meant THIS! Sheesh! no wonder it was confusing." 

--Louise