🚀 go-pugleaf

To:     hacks
cc:
From:   pope @ qds.com ("Alan L. Pope") @ SMTP
Date:   02/22/96 11:49:54 AM
Subject:        (Fwd) Re: If Republicans ran PBS


--- Forwarded mail from ronk@triassic-142.Eng.Sun.COM (Ron Kleinman)

  Excellent satirical piece.  Of course there's no chance of any of
this happening.  Right?  RIGHT??
                                        Ronk



  A TYPICAL DAILY PBS SCHEDULE IF THE PUBLIC BROADCASTING LEADERS CAVE IN
  TO REPUBLICAN PRESSURE

  8:00 am  Morning Stretch:  Arnold Schwarzenegger does squats while
  reciting passages of "Atlas Shrugged."

  9:00 am  Mr. Rogers' Segregated Neighborhood:  King Friday sings
  "Elitism is neat."  The House Un-American Activities investigation of
  Mr. McFeely continues.  Mr. Rogers explains why certain kids can't be
  his neighbor.

  10:00 am  Sesame Street:  Jerry Falwell teaches Big Bird to be more
  judgemental.  Oscar the Grouch plays substitute for Rush Limbaugh.

  Bert and Ernie are kicked out of the military.  Jesse Helms bleaches
  all the Muppets white.

  11:00 am  Square One:  A MathNet episode "Ernest Does Trickle-Down."
  Jim Varney explains how cutting taxes for the rich and spending more on
  defense will balance the budget.

  Noon  Washington Week in Review:  Special guest Senator Bob Dole,
  explaining why the current pension crisis, budget deficit, bank
  closings, farm foreclosures, S & L bailouts, inflation, recession, job
  loss, and trade deficit can all be blamed on someone else.

  1:00 pm  Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?  Guest detective Pat
  Buchanan helps kids build a wall around the U.S.

  2:00 pm William F. Buckley's Firing Line:  Guests George Will, Rush
  Limbaugh, John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona Charen, G.
  Gordon Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Joseph Sobran,
  Paul Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and John McLaughlin bemoan
  the need for more conservative media voices.

  3:00 pm  Nature:  Join James Watt and Charlton Heston as they use
  machine guns to bag endangered species.

  4:00 pm  NOVA:  "Creationism:  Discredited, but what the hell?"

  5:00 pm  Newt Ginrich News Hour:  Clarence Thomas and Bob Packwood
  present in-depth personal reports on sexual harassment.  Pat Buchanan
  says he is being shut out from national exposure.

  6:00 pm  Mystery Theater:  Hercule Poirot, Jane Marple, Sherlock Holmes
  and Inspectors Morse and Maigret team up to investigate Whitewater.

  7:00 pm  Great Performances:  Pat Buchanan is a guest conductor of
  Wagner's "Prelude to a Cultural War."

  8:00 pm  Masterpiece Theater:  Ibsen's "A Doll's House."  Phyllis
  Schafly adds to this classic with an added scene where Nora gladly
  gives up her independence while her husband chains her to the stove.

  9:30 pm  Washington Week in Review:  Guests George Will, Rush Limbaugh,
  John Sununu, Pat Buchanan, James Kilpatrick, Mona Charen, G. Gordon
  Liddy, Robert Novak, Bay Buchanan, Pat Robertson, Joseph Sobran, Paul
  Harvey, Phyllis Schafly, Maureen Reagan, and John McLaughlin discuss
  liberal media bias.

  10:00 pm  Adam Smith's Money World:  How to Profit from Ozone Depletion

  10:30 pm   Nightly Business Report:  Wall Street celebrates the end of
  all laws regarding antitrust, consumer protection, work-place safety,
  environmental protection, minimum wage and child labor.

  11:00 pm  Insights of Dan Quayle

  11:01 pm Sign-Off

  by Mark Harmon, an associate professor at Texas Tech.

--
"Justice isn't blind,  just greedy." BTW, I speak for myself.
Phillip A. Lindsay, Quantitative Data Systems, Inc.
9500 Toledo Way, Irvine,Ca 92718-1806 Ph.714-588-5144 Fax714-588-5181
EMAIL: plindsay@qds.com  HTTP://www.qds.com/people/plindsay