🚀 go-pugleaf

Ah, this topic again. OK, my opinion (old readers of the Rialto may want to 
hit "n"; you've already seen my views):

I'm a protege, to a Pelican in a different Kingdom. The reason I wanted to
become a protege is due both to my personality and to my real-world training.
In the sciences, there is a very strong mentoring system (there are chains
of mentor-protege relationships that are really stunning in their length);
this stems from the system where graduate students take advisers who help
them focus their research, cheer them up when something didn't work, noodge
them to do stuff that's good for them, etc. In return, the grad student
furthers the research of the adviser, helps teach undergrads, keeps the
lab running and occasionally cheers up the *adviser*. A good relationship 
outlasts the grad student's doctoral defense, and that's how the chains form.
This system works well for me, and I feel that it has helped me along 
tremendously. I think it's only natural that I would look for such a 
relationship in the SCA.

My Pelican, who is as heraldry-obsessed as I am, functions as a sounding board
for new projects, offers good, relatively unbiased and friendly opinions
on things, gives me the occasional shove (which I need at times), and so
on. We haven't worked out clearly what I'm doing in return (heraldry can be
done long distance, but we don't see each other nearly enough), but he seems
to enjoy the relationship. We also do things together; we're cooking up a
class for the Knowne Worlde Heraldic Symposium this year. I suspect I'm 
getting more benefit from the relationship than he is; I like the sense of
feeling "anchored".

On the other hand, my husband has a personality opposite mine; he does not 
like to be told what to do. He was squired for a few years to an Eastern 
knight, and it manifestly did not work. (We are still very good friends with
the knight; in fact, we are very happily members of his household. The 
problem was not a personality clash; it was the nature of the knight-squire
relationship.) Relationships like this are not for everyone.

Status: I'd be fooling myself if I thought there was no status associated 
with such a relationship. A number of people were suprised that my husband
gave back his belt; I suspect it was seen as a come-down. In my case, I
wear no belt (my Pel doesn't want me to, which is fine by me), so the only
people aware of the situation in my Kingdom are those herald-types who
happen to know both of us. (And all of you now, of course.) I don't think
that it has any effect on my percieved status, and I don't really care. 
I have heard Pelicans refuse to take proteges because they felt 1) they had
nothing to teach and 2) it would only be political patronage (exact phrase
used.) I don't agree, but they have a right to do whatever they wish. 

Alison MacDermot
*Ex Ungue Leonem*