🚀 go-pugleaf

In article <464n0v$bm0@er7.rutgers.edu>, dstern@er7.rutgers.edu says...
>

>"Confused,"

	The following is a great example of psychobabble, your a victom 
mantra, ignore your conscience, its everyone elses fault, etc.

>
>I was really moved by your letter.  I'm trying to sort out my thoughts 
about
>what you wrote, so bear with me while I improvise. 


	This is the 'I Really Care' opening. But notice that this opening 
is just an incidious method of pushing someone further into a trap of 
misery than extracting them from it.

>
>First of all, I'd like to tell you (and I know that one stranger telling 
you
>isn't enough) to stop beating yourself up.  You're not a monster, a 
pervert,
>an alien, too intelligent, too gay, too interested in youth, to be a 
part of
>the human race.   The main thing that we, as gay people, are taught is 
that 
>we are the ultimate aliens.  Ask any crew of high-school boys (this 
survey
>was done once) what the ultimate insult is, the one that will always 
start
>a fight.  It is, of course, "faggot".  Being smart is another thing that 
>cuts a kid off from the normal crowd.  But as an adult, you recognize 
that 
>there are many "crowds" out there, with many definitions of normal.  As 
an 
>adult, you have the power to control where you live and who you 
associate
>with.  And right now, it sounds like the only person calling you 
horrible
>names is you.  That is the impulse that you have to fight.  Not your 
>sexuality.


	Translation of the above blather:

	Your not a monster because your gay. Your not too intelligent, 
too gay, too anything. Your almost just right.
	Its the fault of the kids you went to school with that your 
miserable.
	But as an adult you can get away from people who have standards 
your not ready to live with. Ignore your conscience, it and the people 
around you that don't agree with you will only make you unhappy anyway.
	As an adult you can take control - or rather loose it completely 
by getting it tight with local gay groups.
	Don't fight it, give in. Have fun....


	One important point here is that the standard gay mantra is 'WHAT 
I DO IN MY BEDROOM IS MY OWN BUSINESS AND NOONE ELSES', which I agree 
with, except if you kept it such a great secret how did anyone find 
out???
	If you want to keep it secret, then keep it so. But don't march 
in the streets, tell others, etc. and expect people not to notice or have 
an opinion about it.

>
>You may be thinking that your self-hatred is the only thing keeping you
>from turning into the dangerous sex-fiend you are so afraid of becoming.
>I don't think it works that way.  It is the people who accept their 
sexuality,
>for whom it is a comfortable and integrated part of their lives, who can 
>exercise a morality that comes from the heart, not from some kind of 
self-
>imposed bludgeon.


	Now to continue with the translation of the lie.

	Do you think your conscience is the only thing keeping your from 
becoming a sex fiend?
	It doesn't work that way.
	Those who toss their conscience over for their lusts are the only 
ones who can be truely moral, the kind of morality that comes from self 
endulgence over concsience. The kind of morality that has not standards.
	Hey its ok... Don't try to overcome your lusts...



>   Is being attracted to a minor evil?  No - let's face it:
>many younger people are sexual and attractive.  There's no magical 
>transformation that happens at midnight on someone's eighteenth birthday 
to
>give them sexual appeal.  Are you evil for appreciating the beauty and 
>vitality of youth?  I don't think so.
>
>Actions, of course, are something else.  Actually having a sexual
>relationship with a boy would be risky for you and probably bad for him. 
 
>But I think you know that, and haven't acted on that particular aspect 
of
>your sexuality.  Have you ever thought that that's a matter for praise,
>not blame?   I think that if you were just a bit kinder to yourself, and 
that
>includes your sexual feelings, you would be more, not less, assured that 
you
>will do no harm to another person.

	This is great psychobabble.
	your moral because you haven't yet seduced a young man, but just 
before this section the message was to forget you conscience (the one 
thing keeping you from being a pedophile)
	The message is to get comfortable with our lusts (forget your 
conscience).


>
>Besides, I have a hunch that what you really want is not to sleep with 
some
>kid in real life, but to go back in time yourself, and do your own youth 
over
>again.  Make it come out right this time.  If you knew then what you 
know 
>now, maybe you could have been proud of who you are; maybe you could 
have 
>found love, and had a boyfriend, and held hands and gone to the prom and 
>passed notes in class and all of those things that kids do.
>
>I don't think that there is a gay man who doesn't feel a bit of rage 
>somewhere that we never got to have that carefree pre-sexuality of the 
>young.  But the past is what it is; it can never be undone and it cannot
>be relived.   The unhappy, isolated boy you were will always be a part 
of

	Now the problem is that your just a product of your enviroment. 
Your miserable and just want to make up for homosexual behavior you 
missed out on has a youth because others were too mean.
	That one is never susposed to just turn the corner of an unhappy 
childhood and move on.
	Notice that never is the advice given that if one continues down 
the path of homosexuality that an early death is a virtual reality.
	Also notice that happiness seems to be based on giving in to ones 
baser desires rathern than any self mastery.



>you.   But (here's the but) that's not all there is to you.  Don't buy 
>the psychological line that says that you are simply an extension of 
your
>childhood.

	Which is the excuse that was just offered in previous 
psychobabble.

  I think you're as much a product of what you thought about five
>minutes ago as you are of your childhood.   You cannot undo the love and
>acceptance you never had when you were younger, but you can have those 
things
>now.  

	Again the message is 'its not your fault your unhappy', it has 
nothing to do with which direction in life you are traveling. It is 
someone elses fault, those mean people who don't embrace gay behavior.


>
>Meet a gay person.  Not a lover, yet; I wouldn't recommend having sex 
until
>you are much more comfortable with the idea that sexuality can be a 
>joyful addition to your life, not a burden.  But a friend; above all, 
find 
>out that you are not alone by hearing echoes of what you've been 
through.  
>Train yourself to trust other people; slowly, bit by bit, take a risk by 
>telling someone something small that you wouldn't have told them before.
>Try, just once, having a sexual thought, WHATEVER it is, and simply 
>enjoying it.  It will not drive you out of control and it will not hurt
>anybody.

	Notice that now the message is, rather than going out for some 
real help like homosexuals ananomous or such, immersing oneself in a 
group made of of people who are all in the same miserable trap. This is 
the 'you can only be happier by completely embracing that which will 
completely distroy you' argument.
	How cunning the adversary is to present true caring as the method 
of carefully leading one down to complete distruction.




>   Cut words like "burdened" "cursed" "never" "only one in the
>world" out of your vocabulary.  They are self-fulfilling prophecies, not 
>descriptions.   At least one reader on the internet thinks you're 
probably
>OK.

	Notice taht burdened,etc. is the self forfilling prophesy but 
that fantisying about seducing young men (mental practicing for the real 
thing) has no effect...
	


>
>
>I'm sorry to have taken this ex cathedra tone; I was just trying to tell 
you
>some of the kinds of things I figured out the hard way.  Like those
>god-awful boring 12-step meetings say, "take what you like and leave the 
>rest." Write back sometime and let me know how you're doing.
>       ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Cheers,
>
>David.


	This is the 'now that I have cozied up to you, maybe we can get 
together and work it out' dating call.

	David had no intention of telling the truth, rather his 
presentation was to insure that another soul is lost to lusts of the 
flesh.

	I'll likely get really flamed, but the facts are the facts and 
just wanting them to be different won't make you happy.

				kind regards
				larry